The Roommate

A man gets a new roommate

Edgar showed up on my doorstep on a warm, bright summer’s day. He was a mangy fellow, rough and matted like an ill-kept animal. Dirt had created a permanent residency in every nook and cranny of his body. With great effort I was able to determine that he was in fact white, though his entire body had taken on a murky brown color. He had a putrid smell that I’d hoped was only temporary. Though he was considerably smaller than I was, his eyes had a warm and gentle glow that, combined with his diffident demeanor, made him appear kind. In any case, he was the only one to answer my roommate ad. Rent was due shortly, and I was getting a tad desperate. He seemed almost surprised when I let him in.

I never found out what he did for a living, but by all accounts he checked out just fine. He was shy and aloof at first. Often I wouldn’t see him for days. At times I would even forget I had a roommate. I often left food out for him. The only signs that he still, in fact, lived with me were the empty pans and piles of crumbs. He wasn’t especially secretive, but I felt this explainable pull--a deep seated urge to get closer to him.

I offered to cut his hair one day. He agreed, with some reluctance. Surely as Michelangelo chipping away at marble to create the David, I carved out a perfectly darling creature from the mess he had been. Once he began bathing, he became downright attractive. He was grateful for my efforts, and I was incredibly happy with what I had revealed. His golden brown eyes seemed to dominate his petite face. His hair, now the color of warm honey, was touchably soft.

From there, my affection grew. As the days went on, I found myself looking for any excuse to touch him. He flinched a lot--he wasn’t used to affection.

The turning point in our relationship came on a sticky hot night in June when the two of us had had far too much to drink. Our air conditioning was out (an unfair assessment, perhaps--it had never really been “in” for as long as we’d lived there). The two of us were sitting on the back porch, desperate to catch a lonely breeze. By now he’d lost all of his characteristic  shyness and had drank enough to sacrifice inhibition. I decided it was time to go to bed when I seriously thought he might crawl into my lap. In my drunken stupor I carried him into my room rather than his. I’d plopped him down onto the bed before I realized my mistake. As I began to pull away, he gripped my arm. Although he didn’t ask me to stay, we both understood the proposal. I wormed my way into bed next to him and he nuzzled into my neck. Recalling his earlier awkwardness, I couldn’t bring myself to take full advantage of the situation, but I kissed him gently. His sleepy eyes fluttered open for a moment, but he drifted back to sleep. From then on we both understood: my bed would be his.

From there we fell into a regular routine. My life became content.

Then one day, there was a knock at the door. Edgar barely looked up from the couch where he was sleeping. I opened the door to discover a rugged young man in shorts and a baseball hat. “Hey,” he said. “You still looking for a roommate?” He asked. I suddenly realized that I hadn’t taken my ad down, though now I had a room available again.

“Yeah,” I replied. “It’s just Edgar and me. Come on in.”  Edgar was wide awake now, rejuvenated by the sound of his own name. He scampered into the kitchen, eager to get away from this pushy stranger. “Edgar,” I called out. “Come meet our new roommate.” In response, he backed up haphazardly, nearly knocking over one of our cheap plastic chairs.

“Dude,” the new man said to me. “What’s with your dog?”

Author's Note

If this is in the wrong category/has the wrong tags, please let me know!

Reviews

[emipoemi]

You have a quirky knack for the quirky! This is such a fun read. Humour inserted in the right places, and that line at the end was so unexpectedly funny. And amidst it all, the situations feel real. I have to say I've lived with a dirty roommate....wasn't fun...ended up kicking him out because he was driving me crazy. So I was quite glad when Edgar started bathing, and the two roomies sparked a cool and close relationship together. Well done! Much enjoyed this!