Relationship Quiz

How do you score?

1. You've finally work up the courage to ask her out! Where do you go on your first date?

a) A classy restaurant.

b) A fun picnic in the park.

c) A simple movie date.

d) McDonald's.

2. You're at McDonald's, and you put in your order. You're faced with the awkward question of who should pay. What do you do?

a) Pay for it. You got chicken nuggets, three burgers, two french fries, and a Mcwrap. You can cover her soda.

b) Offer to go dutch.

c) Pretend to find a hair in your meal and demand to get it on the house.

d) Insist that she pay for the meal--you're already doing her a favor by taking her out.

3. Things are going well on your first date. You've already inhaled 1300 calories, and it's only a few minutes in. But what do you talk about?

a) Ask her what she's interested in, try to get to know her better.

b) Your favorite books and movies. Make sure she knows that she has bad taste if she doesn't agree with you.

c) Pedophilia, politics, and abortion.

d) A woman's proper place in society.

4. When the two of you are talking about woman's work, she politely disagrees with you. How do you respond?

a) A friendly debate. She's entitled to her opinions.

b) Scoff and roll her eyes. Stupid woman.

c) Angrily accuse her of being a feminist. Ask her if she shaves her armpits.

d) Threaten to leave her there if she doesn't agree that you're right.

5. She's pissed that she had to walk home. How do you smooth things over?

a) Apologize. It's only right.

b) Explain yourself. Remind her that you did warn her, after all.

c) Accuse her of being a drama queen, she's clearly blowing this out of proportion.

d) Accuse her of cheating. Someone else clearly drove her home. Remind her that you could do a lot better than her if you felt like it.

6. You've been dating for a few weeks. The two of you are discussing your career plans. You tell her you want to be a psychologist. She's supportive. How do you respond?

a) Be pleased--you're glad she cares about your dreams.

b) Accuse her of cheating.

c) Tell her that she has to drop out of college and become a housewife to raise your future children while you're working. If she's really supportive, it should be no problem.

d) Accuse her of being a gold digger, she's clearly only dating you for all of the money you're going to make.

7. So now she knows that you know she's a gold digger. She jokingly responds that if she was a gold digger, she could do better than you. What do you say?

a) Laugh it off.

b) Condescendingly imply that she's jealous. Your mother just raised your allowance, her mom doesn't even give her one. She's just being petty.

c) Get angry. Tell her that it takes a lot of gas money to lug her fat-a*s around.

d) Accuse her of cheating. This is clearly an admission of guilt.

8. The two of you go to prom. You've told her you want to wear pink, but she buys a blue dress. You react by...

a) Get a blue suit. It's not that hard to find one.

b) Vehemently deny that you're gay. Why else would she refuse to let you wear pink if she's not trying to say you will look gay?

c) Tell her she looks fat in blue and that she will embarrass you at prom if she doesn't wear pink.

d) Accuse her of cheating. Clearly, her other boyfriend wanted her to wear blue.

9. She decides to be reasonable for once, and she's wearing pink. The wrong shade (she did it on purpose, you know it) but it'll have to do. When you get there, you realize she doesn't know any of the dances that you told her to learn. How do you respond?

a) Dance like a freak with her. It's more fun this way.

b) Ignore her and hang out with your friends. Pretend you don't know who she is. She's clearly trying to embarrass you, so you should get to embarrass her.

c) Step on her dress to trip her. When she breaks her nose, she'll stop dancing.

d) If she didn't spend all of her time sleeping around, she might have had time to learn to dance. Dump her on facebook. Tell her you're tired of putting up with her bullshit.

Score: If you answered a to any of these questions, you're clearly whipped and need to turn in your man card at the nearest post office.