Poor Little Girl

Poor little girl has been threw so much

Too much for a girl her age

Abused, raped, heartbroken, and more

how can she live with that on her mind?

how can she tell anyone if she trusts no one?

if she did, what would they think?

who care, they don't know

so many emotions at one time

how can she live with that on her mind?

Reviews

[KatiePie]

"how can she tell anyone if she trusts no one?" was my favorite line.
Editing:
Line 1: 'Poor little girl has been threw (>through) so much.'
Line 7: 'Who care (>cares), they wouldn't know.'
Content:
This whole piece has a beautiful flow and the emotions jump right off the page, it's obvious you know how to use your pen and that fact captures the readers eye, once reading this I really didn't want to stop. Gorgeous piece! Thank you for sharing.
-Cathrine

[Mike Espinosa]

You put in a great amount of effort into this poem, I can tell by how the emotions come through so vividly through your language.

Have you thought about breaking this up into stanzas? I think breaking it into three stanzas (3-3-3) would help amplify the emotive response you want form the reader. It would first paint a picture of the girl, ask us questions that we want to think about, and then give us some conclusion and resolution to the girl's situation.

This isn't a huge thing, but I believe you typo'd in the first line ("threw" to "through") and in the seventh line ("who care" to "who cares"). These are small trifles though.

Overall, I think you did a fine job on this poem. I can see some things that might help it or its message, but they are not necessary. Well done!

[Anthony M Smith Jr]

Tragedy and painful to read as I have children and grandchildren who I fear for them in a world such as it is!
Life and Light!
TT-TTO-NI-K
Elk

[Cassiopia Summers]

I agree completely with Coyote Poetry. Lol, and with agreement I suppose there is nothing more to say except that I love this poem. (:

[heich]

this is a sad poem..it really is hard to go on..huhuhu...

[Coyote Poetry]

Somethings can overtake a mind and ability to trust anyone. Poor girl went through too much in this poem. Her grasp on life would be cold and she had great reason for the fear. A very strong poem. You wrote a very sad story.

Coyote

[snapjack]

Very true. This is what I think about when someone cries about their past.

[Jonathan]

I know someone just like this. In fact its the girl i care about most. good write

[lavina k.]

The truth is after all the pains in your life must go on.
Life never waits for anyone to hold on.
So This girl has to move on....
And i must say you greatly represented your words.
I love the part of so many emotions at the same time....
Thank you!!!!!!
Take care!!!!!!

[Cristal Bridges]

Such a sad like that would be to lead. Such a sad poem. And sadly it happens in this world in which we live. Sometimes people live their lives on their faces and other times it's in their hearts. Melancholy write.

[Jack Inthebox]

Ambivalence does breed anxiety and depression I feel like I can relate to the aspect of isolation and a wounded soul. This is so true and heartfelt it almost moved me to tears ( this is only important because I do not physically produce tears easily.) But still I am so very glad that you shared this with me and others and would like you to know that I too was put though more than what I should have been through at a young age. I pray for you better days Halak Shalom.