The Campsite

Dani and her friends plan a camping trip at the site of the town's most famous ghost story.

“I can't believe it's true! Do you think you can remember it all?” Suzanne whispered excitedly.

I nodded, still staring at the screen.

Maybe we should print it out.” Suzanne was still whispering.

I shook my head. “We wouldn't be able to read it in the dark.” I whispered too, even though we were alone in the library, except for Mrs. Grenich the librarian.

The library was cool and dark. Today, it was so quiet that even our whispers seemed loud. I guess that most kids don't spend the third day of summer vacation in the library, but we were. We were planning for what was perhaps the most important thing about our summer vacation. Our big camping trip.

I'm sure the library might seem like an odd place to start when you're going camping. But not for us. For us, the most important thing about going camping was a good ghost story to tell. Me, and all of my friends love ghost stories, and all kinds of scary things, and there is no better place to be scared silly than a late night campfire.

There was only one ghost story in our town, and everyone knew it. It was the story of Alice Whittaker. Some people said the story was a legend. Others said it was true. Either way, it was told that Alice was a twelve year old girl that lived in our town long ago. She lived with her family in a cabin near the river. One day when she was

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babysitting her younger sisters, she thought they had fallen into the river. As it turned out, her sisters were inside safe, but she drowned trying to save them. It is said that her ghost still wanders by the river, searching for her little sisters.

I'd heard the story a million times, but I'd never really known if it was true. Until today, that is. Now, the facts stared back at me from the library's silent computer. A dated copy of a very old newspaper said that Alice Whitaker did exist. It also said that she'd drowned in the river on May 23, 1931. Today was May 23^rd, the perfect day for our camping trip.

I clicked on the icon that showed the rest of the story. I scanned it quickly. We were running out of time. The other girls would be at my house soon, and we needed to be back before then. The rest of the article was mostly information about the family, and some old photos. I glanced at them hurriedly. Wait! What was that? My eyes snapped back to a small picture of a cabin by the river. It was the cabin where Alice Whittaker had lived. My breath caught in my throat. I knew that place!

My heart skipped a beat. I clicked on the picture, and it filled the screen. “We have to print this! We have to go!” I spat out breathlessly to Suzanne.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “What? I thought you said--”

I shushed her quickly. “Mrs. Grenich, can we print this?”

Mrs. Grenich walked slowly across the room. She was very nice, and she usually let us print anything we wanted, but she liked for us to ask permission. She said that

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computers were full of things that young eyes shouldn't see, and she didn't want us taking any of that home from her library.

She looked at the picture, and shook her head. “Now Dani, you're not going to go and scare your little sister with that old ghost story, are you?”

I laughed. “You know Maggie likes ghost stories as much as I do!”

The truth was, I was definitely going to try and scare Maggie with this ghost story. My little sister was only a year and a half younger than me, and we both love ghost stories. She was coming with us tonight, and I was pretty sure that by the time I was through with this story, we would all be scared. We had printed the picture and left the library, by the time I told Suzanne what was going on.

“I'm pretty sure I know this place!” I told her, excitedly jabbing the picture of the cabin with my finger.

“What d'ya mean? I thought that cabin was torn down a long time ago?” Suzanne was looking at me curiously.

“I mean the place where it was! There's a place near the river that looks like this!” I stopped walking, and turned to face her. “Suzanne, this place is near my house. We can camp there!”

A slow smile spread across Suzanne's face. “Are you sure? It would be so perfect!”

I nodded. I was pretty sure that this was the spot. I really wanted to be positive,

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though. My dad had taken Maggie and I fishing there last summer. We had to walk a long way through the woods to get to the clearing by the river. It was definitely big enough for the cabin, but I needed to make sure that it really looked like the picture.

Suzanne checked her watch. Suzanne always wore a watch. I never did. It's probably a good thing that we were always together, or I'd always be late for everything.

“We have forty-five minutes till Tonya gets here. Will that be enough time to check it out?”

I smiled. It was like Tonya could read my mind. Only she would know that I would want to go and check it out first. I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders. “If we run.”

“Lead the way,” was all she said. I knew that she was as excited about this trip as I was. Thirteen was the golden age. Our parents had been telling us for years that we could go camping on our own when we turned thirteen. They had stuck to it, too.

My friends and I had gone camping together plenty of times before, but this was the first time without any of our parents. There were five of us. Suzanne, Tonya, and I had just finished eighth grade. Tonya wasn't thirteen yet, but her parents let her go anyway. Maggie and Linda were only eleven, but they hung around us all the time. We had been planning this trip for months. Now, we had the chance to make it perfect.

I ran as fast as I could. I went right past the house, through the yard, then turned sharply into the woods. There, I slowed nearly to a stop. The thick trees almost

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completely shut out the bright sunlight. Suddenly, I wasn't sure which way to go.

“What's wrong?” Suzanne was panting beside me.

I shook my head, and blinked several times to get used to the darkness. “I think it's this way.” I pointed, and took off again. It was much cooler in the woods, but the ground was uneven and covered with branches. I slowed down a little, and kept my eyes on the ground. I could hear Suzanne's steps behind me. I was vaguely aware of little branches slapping me, and briars scratching my bare legs. My feet ached, and my chest burned. This was taking longer than I thought. I had to stop! I needed to breathe! Suddenly, I pushed through some bushes- and I'd made it! I stopped so suddenly that Suzanne bumped right into me. We both fell to the ground. We lay there for a moment, gasping for breath.

Finally, I sat up and looked at the picture. My heart sank. I studied my surroundings carefully. I had been so sure. When I first saw the picture, it had reminded me exactly of this place. Now, I wasn't sure. It kind of looked like the picture, but something was different. It wasn't just the absence of the cabin, either. There was something else. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

Suzanne was watching me. “Let me see.” She got up, and took the paper from me. It was smudged and dirty, but the picture was still clear. Suzanne studied it for a minute. Then, she walked closer to the river and turned around. I watched her, still too tired to get off the ground. I was pretty sure I'd been wrong, anyway. This wasn't the

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right place at all. Then her eyes lit up. She scanned something behind me, and she began to smile. I scrambled to my feet, and joined her by the river. I looker at the paper in her hands, then at the trees around us, then back to the paper again. I looked at Suzanne's happy face, feeling confused.

“Don't you get it?” she asked. “Look.” Her finger traced a section of the picture. Then she pointed to a similar area of trees across from us. “Look here.” She pointed out more things in the picture. “Look at that big rock over there!” She pointed, then pointed at the picture again. “It is the right place!”

I frowned, looking around. “It sort of looks the same...”

“Dani, it was ninety years ago! All of this stuff is grown up!”

Suddenly, I got it! That was the difference! The trees were bigger! The grass was taller! There were bushes everywhere! It had been ninety years ago. Of course it looked different!

“She did live here,” I breathed in amazement.

Reviews

[Xena the soon to be 9th..]

WOW!! You have awsome imagry. And your story has great suspence. You kept me wanting more and more!
(Dont mind that sounding weird!) But about that supence, though its great you might want to draw out it even more, than would make it more succesful. Basicly I mean, its like your rushing the story, kids want what they cant have and keeping them chasing the story is a good way to get them to keep reading, then you surprise them with an awesome ending. The high points of the story is when something is revealed.... like a clue, and you have great high points, you just put them to close together. Once again you need to draw them out more. Also.... Dani and Suzanne are supposed to be best friends right.. well then if they are you did a really good job with that. Best friends that come in pairs always have one that leans on the other like me and my bestfriend ( I am the leaner!!!) The whole watch thing was brilliant! ALso you seem like you would be a good detective writer, this story has a lot of putting two and two together and I personally find that enjoyable! Also your story fits its style! Your writing for children and it seems like it. It seems like its easy to follow but still very interesting. Con-A person who has just graduted the eight grade is fourteen not thirteen. Unless they started school late or got left back. And yes I would know hence my name ( Xena the soon to be 9th grader) Overall your story is great and very very very very stimulating! OH AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW MINE! It would be much appreciated! THANKS! Bye for now!!!

[Judy]

Thanks for your tips Xena. I might do some more revisions to the story!

[Xena the soon to be 9th..]

Oh and one more thing I forgot to extend on was your imagery. You give great imagery that allows the reader to be able to visualize whats going on in the story. And the type of reader you are writing for is children and it matches that perfectly! Your words that you are giving to provide imagery are well written but easy to understand for children. You don't use words that are obscure to their knowledge. And this just shows that you know what your doing and who you really are writing for! Once again please take the time out of your day to review mine! Thank ya much!! BYE!!! Oh and I did this rating ( 100/100) based on your imagrey ( did'nt want you getting confused!)