The Notorious Natalie

Rewrites to point of such frustration that I offed the main character! :) LOL

TAKE ONE

Sitting in her wheelchair,
Wondering what to wear,
Natalie, the Notorious,
Found her situation nothing short of inglorious.

Absorbent or plain, it didn't seem to matter,
Until, down the hall,  she heard Nurse Agnes' chatter.
Her ears perked up, as did her head.
Glinting eyes showed much to dread.

Natalie said with all due sobriety,
"Here goes the plan in all its entirety."
She gave herself a wink, and tossed back a mickey,
Choosing her time, being quite picky.

Natalie searched out that sanctimonious nurse,
And giving vent to her rage, she let out a curse.

She flew from her chair, and let out a yell.
Frightened Nurse Agnes, in fear she did quell.
But Natalie's plan, to take the nurse down,
Fell quite flat, when she hit the ground.

Poor Natalie had totally forgotten,
The chairbelts kept her in, "Oh, how rotten!"
They snapped her back and she hit the floor.
The ice pick she had, flew into the door.

Really now, it's sad to say,
that Natalie the Notorious to this day,
Avoids plots of ice picks and death,
And focuses mostly on keeping her breath.

Jan 28

TAKE TWO

Sitting in her chair
Wanting out of there,
The Notorious Natalie
Plotted quite frantically.

Mind absorbed in many plots,
Its a wonder she didn't develop brain clots.
Hearing her quarry coming down the hall,
She wheeled herself closer to the wall.

She spoke so low with all due sobriety,
"Here goes the plan in all its entirety."
Giving a wink, tossing a mickey,
Choosing her time, being quite picky.

Catching sight of that sanctimonious nurse,
She vented her rage, let out a curse.
Flew through the air, and let out a yell.
Poor old Nurse Agnes sure did quell.

Natalie's plan, to take the nurse down,
Ended badly with her on the ground.
The belts snapped her back and she hit the floor.
The ice pick she had flew into the door.

And even now that she's forgetful
Natalie's heart is still regretful.
Avoiding plots of ice picks and death,
Focusing mainly on keeping her breath.

Second attempt at writing the same, only with a less forced rhyme.
Thoughts anyone? :)

Jan 30

TAKE THREE

The Notorious Natalie sat in her chair plotting the downfall of Nurse Agnes.  She did not notice her quarry coming down the hall as her mind was absorbed in plots of murder.  Having only recently attained sobriety, she took the picky Nurse Agnes as being a sanctimonious old bat. Startled, she looked up into that very old nurse's face, and lunged at her with her icepick in hand.  Unfortunately for Natalie, being forgetful as she was, she tripped over the walker she was using.  The ice pick entered her easily and put an end to Notorious Natalie's plotting for good.  

Thus Ends a Terrible Story.

Reviews

[Audrey Howitt]

Ah Judy--don't you hate editing??? Sometime it works and sometimes it doesn't. I like the second version--but I am not a big fan of rhyming---sometimes I want to ice pick my editor!

[FJ Davis]

An unusual trio of poetic drafts; don't think I've ever seen anything quite like this presentation. Might you have some scrap paper connected with these three versions you'd like to show the reader? Pencil shavings?
I'm pleased Notorious Natalie finally finished off her main tormentor, herself. Actually, I'm pretty certain I enjoyed the basic poem--though I'm not quite sure where to find it.
Unique offering, Judy; one whose like we're not soon apt to see.