Little and Small

As I sit on the black sofa of the lounge I regularly attend to, I look over to my best friend, Terry, and get a glimpse of my past. Of who I used to be. He stares at his 3DS while he plays his game, the light illuminating his blue eyes through his glasses, and I begin to think of what all has happened this past year. I learned how much just a few words can change someone's life, or even just a simple gesture. 

My eyes start to swell up with tears, and I try to hold them back. I pull out my phone to tell Terry to come outside with me, because I know that if I say it there, I'll start crying in the middle of the lounge. I send him a text saying what got me upset and why I want to go outside. 

I keep getting these thoughts in my head.

Thoughts of Eric. I tried to avoid them.But they keep coming back. 

Nikki saw the way I looked at him two weeks ago.

She said I act different with him still. She says 

that I get excited with him and how I

"light up" with him apparently. That's when

I realized that I still want him and need him. 

I tell him everything. I tell him more than I do you and Nikki...

I keep thinking that I can't have him ever again and

it's just because I'm not old enough. It makes me feel like 

s**t because I think 

I love him... 

 When we get outside, he looks at me, face with concern all over it.

"Cathy, what's wrong?" he asks.

"Just look at your phone. It says it in a text message I just sent you..." I respond quietly.

Terry pulls out his phone from his jean pocket and flips it open. Once he reads it, he hugs me, and pulls me to the side of the building so we'd be less in view of everyone. Once we get out of view of everyone, I just cry uncontrollably as he hugs me. 

"Cathy, listen, if you care about him as much as you do, you can either try for him more if it really is meant to happen and you love him, or you can just try to let him go and be there when he needs you. I know it would be hard to go with the option of not having him, but that might work too. Try to find someone for you. Someone who can treat you good." Terry tells me. 
I cry a little harder, but manage to tell him in response, "But that's the thing though. I tried so hard to move on from him. From what we were. But I can't forget it. He was there for me when Alex and I were going down. He protected me from Alex because he didn't want Alex to hurt me anymore. He was there the entire time. Then we were together. But when we ended because of my age difference, it hurt so much. I tried to move on. That's why after a few months, I went for Jeremy. I was happy for a while, but not like I was with him." 

"Well you're a good person, and anyone should be glad to have you, I promise." He tells me, and hugs me to comfort me.

"Terry, you're one of the ones who rejected me when I wanted to be with them... It made me think there was something wrong with me even though we're good friends. It was like I had some sort of defect with me, and there wasn't anything I could do about it." I tell him. 

He pauses for a moment to think, and says, "It's not that there's anything wrong with you. It's just that it wasn't that long after you and Alex broke up, and since you guys dated for two and a half years, I still felt like you were his and that I was doing something wrong towards Alex. But if you really still love Eric, which by what you've told me you still do, I think you should be there for him and give it time." 

I shake my head at him and answer, "I try. He actually told me before that he still really cares about me. His girlfriend apparently is getting really attached to him more than he would like for her to be. But I guess you're right, Terry, I should just be there for him and I should hope that maybe it will work out..."

Terry smiles lightly at me, and hugs me as he tells me, "You're like family to me Cathy, and I really hope things work out for you."

I realize how much of a good friend Terry is, and I'm glad that even though we didn't talk for a while, he's always been there for me... 

Author's Note

Still needs work

Reviews

[Leon Williams]

The detailing in this is fairly good. however, you lost a lot of it towards the middle. But it sounds like Terry is a really good friend of yours. Im glad he is there for you when you need someone. I believe that everyone should have someone to confine in. I agree with him. and I hope things will work out for you and Eric in the end.

[Judith Reznor]

Thanks Leon :P