Slip Thru This

Slip Thru This

A Poem by JudeTrain
"

I can't hold whats in my hand- Avey Tare

"

Nightingale

Crunch

Flow

There’s a river below.

 

Moonlight

Slippery

Thoughts

In my own head.

 

Helpless

Little

Life

Falling into the river.

 

Identify…….. Something

Chilling……. Deep

Oxygen…… Inside

I like merry mendicants……. Can’t stand all of this

 

Fear

 

Slip thru this

Slip thru mist

Let’s find something

Something here we've missed

 

 

© 2010 JudeTrain


Author's Note

JudeTrain
Something I worked on a while back, now revised and edited. Let me know what you think :)
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N/A
I liked the flow in this,and especially the fourth stanza.
The use of the reply (?) in italics I really liked. Dunno why but it seems to emphasize the almost questioning tone that I felt the first three lines had.But also the decisiveness that the last line endues. Good work !
XX

Posted 14 Years Ago


I'm a fan of the quirky layout. The space adds to the messages of mist, and slipping through. Good flow too, so an enjoyable read.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on March 3, 2010
Last Updated on March 3, 2010
Tags: Slip Thru This Jude Train

Author

JudeTrain
JudeTrain

Yuma, AZ



About
I was born in Spokane Washington on November 9th, and have been writing ever since... ahem, i usually carry a composition book for random thoughts, or even for short stories. I'd like to say I started.. more..

Writing