A home in feminism

It is about why we need feminism in our home first before the rest of the world.

Feminism:

I think that the topic of feminism is such a touchy one for so many people; simply because they believe it to be a hate towards the male gender, or because they believe that if it doesn't affect them personally then it doesn't exist. It can be hard in this day and age to come out as being a feminist, because of the way the word “feminist” has been made to look like a bad thing. People assume that feminism is related to hating men and wanting to be superior to them. Feminism is so much more than just this ‘feud’ between that is the better gender. It is about being equal to men and respecting the choices others make for themselves. It is about respecting the gender that each individual identifies as. It is about respecting someone else’s choice of who they want to love. It is about knowing your own worth and not settling for what the rest of the world thinks you deserve; no matter what your gender is.
With that said though, the main focus of feminism is about women because the world needs to realize that women are looked upon as inferior. Our whole lives everyone has put females under the scrutiny of �" oh she has to play with dolls and like the colour pink. “I wish I had a son that I could talk to about cars,” because my mind was too invalid to the thoughts of how a car might work; unless it was a pink jeep that I could push my Barbie around in. “Girls are supposed to wear only pretty little dresses and skirts,” that’s what my mother would always say, but only till the day I finally became a “women” and suddenly I was hearing things like “don’t wear that skirt because it looks a bit too short” or “Maybe put on a pair of jeans so people can’t see your legs,” but I thought that jeans were only for boys because that was all that you told me growing up. But that only applied until I got to the age where everyone else’s actions would now be my fault.
If he was the one catcalling, it would still be what I was wearing in the first place. If he raised his voice and swung his fist at my face, it would still be what I must have said to provoke him. If he grabbed me when I didn't want it, it would still be how I was acting beforehand to show that I ‘wanted’ it. If he dragged me into an alley late at night and wouldn't listen to my screams begging him to stop, it would still be what I was wearing, it would still be how much I drank even though I was the one that was sober, it would still be whether I talked to him in the first place, it would still be my fault because “boys will be boys”, and I should suffer the consequences of my non-existent actions…
I need feminism because when I came home one night to tell my parents that every day while walking to university, there are about 30 middle aged Indian men that look at me like I’m a piece of meat to them. Every. Single. Day. I told them that it made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe because I don’t know how these men think. I don’t know what thoughts go through their minds when they look at me like that. What I really wanted to hear was my mother telling me was that I have the right to feel uncomfortable and unsafe, but instead I was hearing the words “I should stop complaining and be happy that finally someone is showing the attention I didn't get during high school.” These were the words from my own mother. This is rape culture. This is the ignorant bliss of rape culture. And if this is what we are being taught by our own family, then how is the world supposed to treat us any differently. This is the reason I need feminism. Because girls aren't supposed to feel happy by any attention that seems harmful and toxic, because I am a female doesn't mean that you have the right the mentally undress me for your own benefit, because we needs parents to understand how wrong and ignorant some of their thoughts are, and because we are more than what society wants us to be.

-          Jubeida Fisher

 

Reviews

[Madame Murrell]

This was a beautiful essay and I could relate to so much of it. Many times in my life I've been told that "boys willbe boys" as if men were inherently violent and abusive and had these sexual "urges" they couldn't control when provoked by a female they believed was attractive. Male entitlement is a real thing, and the "boys will be boys" mantra pretty much reinforces it in many ways