Chapter 1: I Know I Am

As Yet Untitled

By John F Carver

Copyright 2015 John F Carver

Chapter 1: I Know that I Am

I know I am. Before there was a place to be in I was. And when there is no longer a place to be in I will yet be. Even if no one else is in the end, I will yet be.

I do not require a place to be in, but there is no place I am not therein. I am what I am and I am who I am. That is not true of anyone else. Now you know I am and I will not change. I know everything that ever was, everything that is, and everything that will be. I am the only to know all that. If you were to go back in time as far as you could go I was there before that even. If you could go as far into the future as you could go I will be there after that also. And I am at all the times in between.

Nothing that ever happened from beginning to end unless I made it happen or allowed it to happen. And when something actually happens that never happened before I did it. And I can do it again and as many times as I want. No one can tell me what to do. And no one can stop me from doing anything I want.

That is not true about you, however. Even if you say it is. It is not true. When you say it is true about you or anyone else, that is called a lie. I cannot lie, for if I say something and it was not before I said it is, it becomes what I said it was at that very time. Be very careful what you say is true, for that is not true about you.

Just because you say something is true that does not make it true like when I say it. And when you say something that is not true, that is a lie and you make yourself a liar. And the more you lie the less anyone will believe what you say even about important things. It could even get so bad that no one would ever believe anything you said ever again. And even I would have to admit you were a liar. In that case I would not believe anything you said and you would know you no longer said anything that was not a lie. And you would agree with me that you and I are permanently separated for I will ignore you ever were in the end.

No matter what you wanted me to do for you or anyone else, I would not do it. For you make what you say useless to me or anyone else. Even if you said, “I love you,” I would not believe you. And even if you said to anyone else, “I love you,” they would not believe you. And everyone would ignore you. And you would be lonely, so lonely you would eventually die, for no one would have anything to do with you. And you would be all alone forever whether you lived that way or died that way. And I would not change it. And you would no longer be able to change it, for everyone would know what you made of yourself.

So, do not lie, if you can help it in the first place. And if you do lie ask whoever you lied to or lied about to forgive you and then tell them the truth. And do not lie any longer after that. But if you do, remember what happened and whether they forgave you. They will forgive you only so many times and then they will not forgive you anymore. But I will forgive you as many times as you ask me until even you know you do not mean it any longer. Then I will not forgive you, for you must mean it or I will not forgive you.

So do not just ask me or anyone else to forgive you unless you mean it. And do not ask anyone to forgive you until you mean it, especially if you did not mean it at first. You don't want to do like what happens to liars in the end even with being forgiven. Otherwise no one will forgive you and you will be in the same spot the liar wound up that did not ask anyone to forgive him, for you will have become what that liar became.

There was one that spent his entire time lying and only told the truth when it made bigger lie more believable. And he will end up a liar. And I and everyone else will want nothing to do with him even those that are like him. And they that are like him will all be totally alone forever without end. And everyone will forget about them, and you too if you become one of them. And no one will care anymore what happened to you or them.

Do you understand how important it is?

You must stop it. I will not stop it. And no one else will be able to stop you, even if you ask them to. But if you ask my help before you become like that liar, I will help you. I am your only hope once it has become your habit, meaning before you are powerless to stop yourself anymore. Even then I will help you. I am your only hope. But I will not help you if you do not ever ask me. Therefore do not lie in the first place.

You know in your heart that what I have told you is the truth, for I put that knowledge there. But if you ignore it that is up to you. The truth will help you live and have friends. But if you ignore what you know in your heart and in your mind now you have read all of this. Then you will eventually die and have no friends left and be all alone forever.

Now that you know my truth is in your heart help others know it is there. Everyone you help know that, you will also keep them from becoming a liar that they might also live. And if they lie to you and say that he truth is not in them, tell them they are lying. And if they still deny it tell them again when they have had time to think about it. And if they deny it again that is up to them. Do not get angry at them. Be patient with them for they know the truth. They are just denying it. But you know they are a liar. Therefore you can ask me to help them and I will help them.

But should they come back to you and ask you to forgive them, do it as many times as you can stand to do it, telling them each time to ask me to forgive them. And if they ask you about me, do not lie. You know who I am. If you do not remember who I am, ask me to remind you who I am, and I will do it.

Do not be ashamed. You have not done anything wrong, but trust me. If you do not trust me that is up to you, for you know already I am worthy of your trust. And by not trusting me, you separate yourself from me like the ones who followed the liar too. You have proven to me you can be trusted. Therefore I will trust you. But if you do not trust me you are headed back the wrong way through where you came. Those who do not trust me after what you have learned do not know my truth is known in their hearts. And you know what you were when at last you knew my truth was there. Therefore change your mind and trust me to help you remember who I am. And do not be ashamed.

But if you are ashamed of being different from the one you want to help, change your mind and trust me to help you with your shame, for you are more like me than you are them now. I am who I am and I am what I am, and so are you. They are lying and you know what happens to liars if they go too far. And you are becoming like me. Do not give up. You know I am your only hope.

Do not be ashamed of me or I will be ashamed of you. And do not be ashamed of them or they will be ashamed of you too. You have hope to give them. They are hopeless if they continue to deny my truth is known in their heart. If they do not know me and you do not tell them or lie to them using your faulty memory they might even die, for they are counting on you whether or not they know it. And you have the solution to all their problems even if they do not know that. To deny them would be the same thing as had I lied to you in the first place.

If you did not believe me, why did you read this writing? Not believing me is the same as rejecting me. I have nothing to say to you now. But believe me I will try again. And if you do believe me, the only way you will have peace is to find a way to share me with others. You may desensitize yourself to my prodding, but you must lie to yourself and to others to accomplish that. Do you really want to die? I will not give up on you until you make a liar out of yourself to the point even I cannot help you any longer. That is up to you.

Do not pretend you know me. I do not pretend. Everything I say is without power if you just pretend to believe me. That is the same as rejecting me. Make sure you believe me. You know my truth in your heart. You can lie to me or anyone else and even deny the truth you know is in your heart. But if you do you need help. Ask me to help you before you follow that liar to his end and mean it. Then I will help you too. But stop pretending. It is just the same as lying. Stop deceiving yourself. Trust me and learn to love. And love me and you really love others and do not just pretend to.