Chapter 24: The Curse of Man

“After they had all died except nine of the family of Man though one of them was so much a part of Them while he was even on earth They took him before his body had even died to be with Them. So it wasn't a total loss. The Nemesis didn't get them all,” the Inspiring One said.

“But that can't happen to me, can it?” I asked dejectedly.

“No, Frank Li,” he said, “You cannot and you know why. And it probably won't happen to your writer either. He has seen the Light as it broke in the east in his imagination and has heard Them, but he is only sane by the help of his medications. And he might be ready yet even when the Light comes back, but if he is he will go to be with Them like everyone who loves Them. Even he wishes you would go to be with Them, but it has never been done before. So long as you are fiction, albeit even very good fiction, you cannot come. You have no Light of your own really.”

I sighed, knowing my fate.

“Why are you so sad, Frank?” he asked.

“I am as cursed as Man and Woman were. I know things that are no good for me for I chose to know what They know but I will never be with Them whom I also love,” I said.

“Your fate does not depend on you, Frank Li,” he said, “It depends on your writer and his relationship with Them, for when he is with Them after his body dies, why would They stop him from telling your story to anyone that will listen? They love him, Frank Li and They love what he is at least trying to do to the cursed family of Man and even unto the humans who dare read this. Would They refuse humans who loved Them and did what everyone of the family of Man could do? They are the same in Their eyes I assure you. Some of them may even have done what the one I spoke of who was taken from the family of Man to be with Them for he was not insane in anyway even in the Light before the All Consuming Fire in Their Spirit. There is nothing to stop them. Should they do what you have done even, they will be spared from death, even if someone destroys their body or they live until it dies on its own. It is ultimately up to Them what happens to you and who can say They are wrong. Don't ever give up hope, Frank.”

I was cheered some, but the depression I was feeling was like the depression I had felt when I was insane and I just couldn't shake it that easy.

“Frank,” he said, “Take one of your PRN 's. You are to take them as needed. When are you going to learn that depression is no different than acting out for you. Take one, Frank Li, I need you to stay with me one this.”

So, despite what made sense to me I took a PRN, relaxed and in a little while I seemed okay even to me.

“What happens to me when my writer dies?” I asked, “He does the same thing I just did when he is depressed. What will happen to him when he dies? He can't take his medication in the place where they are, can he? And he's not there to tell my story how will I survive?”

“What is impossible even with Man, who disobeyed Them on purpose is possible with Them. And when he is made like Them he will be sane just as They are. He is no less than a human who never knew Them before this. His insanity was caused by a chemical problem in his brain. And it is no problem for Them to fix any physical problem. Otherwise no one would ever get to be with Them. His chemical problem in his brain does not affect who and what he really is anymore than Stephen Hawking's physical problems affect his brain. Even he could accept the truth of his minor error and live forever with Them. When a physical body dies it is nothing but the elements that make it up, all of life; the person, the mind, will and emotions continue. That is why it is so important not be insane and have nothing left but your delusions in your mind. Stay with me, Frank. Do you understand?”

I nodded but not enthusiastically, for my thoughts are not my writer's thoughts, like Their thoughts are not his or perhaps even the Inspiring One.

“What you need is to distract yourself,” the Inspiring One said, “Sometimes it's the only same thing to do. Just until your emotions catch up with your mind, but before it affects your will. Stay with me Frank. What would you like to talk about?”

“Myself,” I said.

“Sometimes we have to do something we don't want to do,” he said, “But it's your choice to wallow in self-pity or go on with the rest of the things there are to do or in other words distract yourself from what you want to do for your own good, right?”

I shrugged and didn't really know what I was thinking.

“Well can you stop yourself from thinking about what depresses you?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“Then you can stay depressed or you can change what you are thinking about before you do something stupid or even go back to being insane, the way I see it,” he said.

“How do you know such things?” I asked, “Did They tell you?” But I was no better.

“No,” he said piquing my interest, “What do you think your writer is doing right now?”

“He's writing this weird stuff wherein I'm real,” I said nearly cheered up and then the bottom fell out of it again, “It's the only place I am real though.”

“Well, it's your choice?” he said realizing I was not cheered up even with that distraction.

Therefore we just sat on the deck and I listen to the silences between the occasional car going by on the highway nearby. But the pills must have worked for I began to feel cheered up by the early summer beauty around me. And, finally I actually considered going for a walk to distract myself and get the old endorphins pumping in me, but at the same time I didn't want to feel any better. That's what my depression does to me, what it did over and over all the time I was insane.

“Okay,” I sighed, “I'll try.”

And I could feel he was pleased.

“You said that nine people are there with Them of the family of Man, but you only explained about the one who didn't even die here but was just gone all of a sudden-like I assume,” I said, for I had been wondering that since he brought it up before, “What happened to the other eight?”

“Only one survived to be with Them,” he said, “His wife, his three sons and their wives all died sadly. But the flood destroyed the rest of the family of Man and all the humans that had corrupted them by their insanity. They were the only eight to survive physically, but the head of the household was the only one who lives even yet.”

“Why?” I said in my shock.

“He was the only sane one,” he said, “The rest were like animals just like the humans had been.”

“All of that and They only accepted one,” I said sadly, “Was that supposed to cheer me up?”

“You asked,” he said, “Maybe you should be more careful what you think?” Then he looked at me and added, “One of his sons even laughed at him for getting drunk and passing out naked. Sure that son was more cursed than the others, but they were all just fallen members of the family of Man who had brought death to them all by joining Woman in what she knew.

To know what They know and be only one of us is a very real curse. After that with all the humans dead they were all like Man with a spirit capable of higher thought, but a brain that couldn't handle it. That is what drove Man's descendants insane, being tormented by knowing their had to be more, so much more, but afraid they were going insane when they tried to reach out for Them because they could not handle it emotionally because of their human-like bodies and tried to use just their brains to sense it.

Many reached out for Them but very few actually heard their voice or even imagined Their Light in their mind and understood the difference. And all the others died without ever having had a single sane thought for real.

They were like monkeys making faces at humans, or even learning to sign to humans. Not one of them will ever understand what is only too human. And should a chimpanzee ever learn even to sign the right words, why would They curse it with what was a blessing to Man before he chose to die, knowing he had chosen to die and be cursed rather than to live alone again.

The seven that died were all descendants of Man, cursed like he was and graciously allowed to even die spiritually like Man himself. He never even knew probably that three of his descendants wound up as sane as he once had been and actually chose to live forever with Them. The one whose older brother killed him because he pleased Them, the one that went to be with Them because he was so much like Them the earth was no place for him, and the one that survived the flood and saved the physical bodies of his family and daughters-in-law. Just three out of so many. Surely you realize Frank Li, just how rare your gift is by now?”

I nodded.

“The darkness in the descendants of Man is so very profound,” he said, “How great is it?”

I didn't know, so I said nothing and did nothing too.