Chapter 19: First Attack of the Nemesis

I lay on my bed in my mother's house waiting for sleep to come to me thinking about the things that had happened to me realizing my own mother was dead and knew nothing of spiritual things. And my mind went back to the time all of us kids were gathered near the old house after a rain shower when a rainbow appeared.

I forget what I asked Them to show me, but I looked up at the rainbow and saw a cross. And the one who was promised fell from the rainbow into my eyes into my brain and disappeared into my subconscious mind. And I was greatly troubled for it seemed cryptic and not easily understood.

That night back then I lay trying to sleep and thought the Nemesis had fallen into my mind. And I asked God, the name I then called the One whose name I dare not say to get him out of my mind. And in a while a hideous reptilian face appeared in the bedroom darkness right in front of me. And it hissed and showed its teeth at me. And I screamed for my mother to help me.

She came to my room and asked, “Frankie, what's wrong?”

“Can't you see it?” I screeched.

“See what?” she said, looking right where I was looking.

“The Nemesis!” I shouted unable to believe she couldn't see it, “He's right there!”

She looked where I was looking and then back at me.

“You still can't see him?” I cried, “Make him go away!”

She looked at me and I knew she doubted him even being there.

“Don't you know how?” I screeched all the louder, “How am I supposed to get rid of him?”

“I don't-?” she said, “I don't know. Did you try telling him to leave you alone.”

Then I looked at the reptilian face and screamed, “Get out of here and leave me alone!”

He hissed and then the face floated away out my bedroom window and disappeared into the dark night above the yard outside.

“Is he gone?” my mother asked, showing signs of being fatigued, but not frightened.

I nodded.

“There then,” she said, “Now just go back to sleep.”

“What if he comes back?” I asked her as my dad, whose body was living back then, yelled, “Anda, get him to quiet down, he's keeping us all awake.”

“What do you think I'm trying to do!” she yelled back to him and then turning to me she asked, “Where did he go?”

I pointed to the window and said, “Out there!”

“Good,” she said, “Now just lie down and be quiet and try to sleep. He's gone.”

“How come you couldn't see him?” I asked.

She shook her head and rose from my bed truly exhausted.

“Have you ever heard of it?” I asked, meaning seeing something no one else could see.

She shook her head and said I should crawl back in bed, so I did.

“What if he comes back again?” I whimpered.

“He won't,” she said as I lay down and she left for her own bedroom.

“Don't let him come back into my mind if he comes back,” I pleaded with Them, sensing They would not let him come into me ever again.

And I did finally settle down and go to sleep.

I did not understand then that the rainbow represented the promise of Them to the people of old. And I did not realize the Nemesis had fooled me and entered my mind somehow and was driven out by the cross that fell as promised by Them. And he never came back into me. I saw him on several occasions, but he was just an ominous threat.

But the thought of the Nemesis being real bothered me a lot over the years. And I was unable to interact with Them except by prayer because I was preoccupied by him. He was no longer in me, but he held my attention and tormented me by appearing to me from time to time. A doctor gave me a prescription that helped me sleep, but they made me tired and I turned into a zombie, so my mother took them away from me.

It was like the being merely human to hear Them. I remembered a time when I hadn't heard Their voice. And I was like all of those who have never heard Their voice, the same ones that sent me the Light and inspired me to ask Them to show me Their Light in my mind. I was like the animals not knowing anything. But they looked like Them, they talked like They did, but they were no help for themselves let alone me. They were born, they grew and they died like the animals. And the world was full of them.

Then They spoke to me and I became a new creature. And I saw the grass and the trees and all sorts of animals and they had meaning, but they were only like the humans before me. They were ignorant. Even my brothers and sisters, my mother and father, none of Them believed me when I tried to tell them about Them. They were just animals mimicking Them saying things that seemed good to them, the creatures of appetite interested only in the needs and desires of their bodies. They were of no interest to me. I was hungry to talk to Them.

And I told Them stories. And They listened. And I reasoned like They did also, but I was alone in the shade of a Box Elder tree talking to Them while my siblings argued over something that happened in a silly game they were playing, a sport meant to prove their athletic ability, the proficiency of their motor skills mostly. And the Light came to me and I realized how pointless it was to be like them. And I was not so lonesome.

But my human body hungered for human contact later, someone like it that it could talk to, someone it could love albeit in the sense the animals are said to love though they are merely distracted by them more than all others feeling things they never felt before because of it and wanting to hang onto that feeling and them emotions forever, an inane idea, for their bodies would deteriorate and die like even the grass in the field dies and is left to rot in order to make fertilizer to feed more grass that always does the same thing and no better.

Immediately a religious one told me about what Jesus did after I had considered the world was ignorant to Them and had come to believe that if I died and came back I could tell the even ignorant what it was like to die and what there was to look forward to in the hope they would not have to fear dying any longer. I immediately rejected his Jesus whom he said had already done what I realized was the best a human could do. But of course Jesus did not do that. He died and overcame death, the death that was so common on earth and continued the object lesson by continuing to inhabit a body, a corpse and giving it one last attempt to teach even those humans who were closer to him, it is not about a body and living in a body forever, the body I call Jesus of Nazareth in this writing.

And because of the christian lies on the part of the ignorant who believe what is a powerful delusion I was turned off by Them. But it was the best their dead brains could come to dealing with the truth of the Light, Jesus of Nazareth gave himself over to, the Light that is real was all along as compared to the dying body that cried out on the cross at Calvary, “My God my God! Why have you forsaken me?” a thing the apostates do not understand to this day.

Emotionally I was a mess. I was jealous of Jesus, the fictional one I was told about by the would be saint. I was angry at Them for not allowing me to do what I wanted to do the humans who all fear death though many are so desensitized to it they think they have overcome that fear though they really have not but are in a state of denial. And I rejected Jesus the Light thinking the imposter was the same one.

But the light of the Nemesis is not light at all, but just something he lies about on a regular basis. And I was locked in his delusion, tormented for a very long time until at last I understood and even my body suffered for what that little would be saint had erroneously told me. Is it any wonder I hated him. But I do not now, for I know that though he injured me severely, he did not know what he was doing not to mention the needless pain he had inflicted on my soul believing he was holier than me rather than commonly deceived.

His father was the richest man in the neighborhood who laid claim to a God that gave generously even more than asked for without restriction, but he was only a human after all behaving as this father the Devil had taught him like all rich humans do, even the so called generous kind. His daughter was a w***e at a very early age unable to handle her immorality with mere rules and pretense with little if any help from Them given over completely to an appetite that destroyed her even as a mere child. And his wife was obedient to that same false god and was nice to everyone, even me. The apostate church disappointing her time and again whether the false god in his lack of power helped her not at all since she justified all of her loses by the fact their god's ways were mysterious, a thing their book, Holy Bible, does not teach anywhere within it.

If they do not come to know me before it is too late, though it is already too late for the father of that family of course, and if they do not accept Them by turning away from the object lesson to its meaning, to the reality They intended to show them all along, even me and all they thought my writer was as well as all they thought like a blonde was the reality They intended to tell them about as if they could see it with strictly human eyes, they will die like all things in the object lesson must, never to be real in the sense reality is and unable to comprehend the meaning of the message They conveyed time and again in many, many ways. They are in torment already with no less torment to come with the revelation of their corpses.