Chapter 16: Hearing and Believing

The Inspiring One asked, “Are you done prophesying? Frank Li, I was wondering why those truths in particular are so important to you and whether you would waste the rest of your sojourn among the mad on planet earth, in America, in the their churches and among the people of your own town? Don't you have any friends there, Frank?”

“None I approve of,” I laughed, “When I am being holy.”

“Have you ever heard his voice, Frank Li?” he asked.

“Yes, once,” I said, “My brother before he died was arrested for something I know he did. At that time Ben hated Natives and boasted he never made a mistake in his life, but favored his own rich friends from out of town above all the rules he threatened to fire us if we didn't follow. I threw the cash I had taken in pumping gas in his face and told him to take his job and shove it. But later he was proven a thief by shortchanging his customers which could not just be a mistake. Remember he claimed never to make mistakes.

When he was arrested I felt bad for him. I considered him my brother back then. And once I got drunk and gave a gutter sermon defending him and condemning the police and in particular one bully with a badge they called Sonny. I came home and was angrily complaining to whom I called God at the time when he said to me, 'Do you want to go see them?' and I did.

What did I stand to lose? Was it wrong of me to have defended my own brother against a crooked local system that railroaded him and made mockery of his bad name? I cared not what it cost me. I was defending my brother though he had never been a brother to me.

What did I stand to gain? They took a sum of play money the rich use to oppress the poor in America when I plead guilty on a charge of disturbing the peace of the police station which the judge almost laughed out of court saying, “I'm not so sure you can disturb the peace of the police station?” I had no where near enough play money to bribe a good lawyer with and thus I gave them more of oppression cash and went free again again. But I don't think Ben even appreciated it for he never even said, 'Thanks,' even for trying.

He hated me past the time I had forgiven him and he died to me. I no longer have a deluded a*s for a brother. Ben is still not my brother except by incidence of birth. He died in his delusions and pride for he probably never spoke to me though we lived in the same town the rest of his miserable life. But I was so proud of whom I called God at that time for giving me the opportunity, something I would never have thought of without His suggesting it. He made a real, true friend that night. He understands me.”

The Inspiring One listened patiently.

I was very nearly ashamed of myself for sounding off again about it, but I looked at the dark night sky and asked, “I know why he made Light, but I don't know why he made Night. Was it just to afford humans the right to be protected by His gift of a delusion to save their eyes and their brains?” just to change the subject to distract myself away from my anger, for I hated both sides in that fight among two dead rivals, a dispute not my own.

The Inspiring One said, “Stay with me, Frank Li. I have answers I want to share with them who chose to live in the Night rather than rest and live in he Day where the Light lives. Just stay with me, Frank. I can't do this without you. But you can't do it without me. Stay with me now, Frank. Either of those two ways are a disaster. And we have come so far, Frank.”

I was silent and took a couple of deep breaths and tried to relax.

“Night is a gift the same as Day is, and He spoke Light into being the same as He called the darkness by name,” he said, “But they used darkness as cover to do all sorts of things they thought would be more comfortable than living in the Light. And they died. Do you love Night, Frank Li?”

“Yes, I do!” I said, “It is my favorite time of day.”

“He is in the Night too, Frank,” he said, “You heard his voice. Do you recognize it? Would you remember it if you heard it again?”

“I did before,” I said, “For I just remembered he spoke to me when I was very young and a twister was going over the old place on the Fourth of July when I started to run and He said, 'Just stay where you are Frank Li. Don't move!' And when the tail of he twister had passed over us I looked around and there was no one anywhere near me to say that or anything else. They said that it might have been God and that is what led me to ask about Light and to realize the reality of the one I called God for a long time was more real and more powerful than anything I normally heard. And as I learned later it is more real than anything I ever saw before too.”

“The point was Frank, you heard Him,” the Inspiring One said, “And you obeyed.”

“Yes,” I said and realized just how important that really is. Then I said, “I thought it was my brother Ben's voice, but when I asked him, he denied it. After that I never doubted it was His voice until just now it occurred to me it might not have been.”

“You believed He knew what He was doing,” the Inspiring One said, “Therefore you believed him too. Was it your first time?”

“Yes, and I never believed him so perfectly as I did that time,” I said.

“Hearing, obeying and believing is what it is all about, Frank Li,” he said, “What happened to you? Where did you lose Him? Why did you do it, Frank Li?”

I remembered but I didn't say anything.

And I was home in my mother's house and she was sleeping just like she had slept through much of my madness. And she had no clue what was going on with me.

'Was that where my insanity had begun?' I wondered.