Chapter 6: Communicating with the Insane

“What have you learned, Frank Li?” the Inspiring One seemed to ask but I no longer actually heard its voice nor imagined it was male that I might call the Inspiring One by a male pronoun.

“We are all in the Light,” I said, “But our delusions are caused by the fact that no human brain can stand the information nor the intensity of the light around us and it tricks itself into blocking all the information out to keep from shutting down which in this case means it interprets the Light as if it were not the light of Day but the darkness of Night.”

Impressed the Inspiring One said, “Which do you believe is real then, what you know or what your mind tells you is so?”

“What I know has to be real,” I said, “What my brain tells me is so is merely what the computer-like thing my mind tells me. But can I really live knowing I am actually in the Light at all times and that everything else is delusion or potentially that.”

“Doesn't all knowledge other than that you now know behave like that?” the Inspiring One said.

“I think so now,” I said, “We have to assume nothing exists like the Muslims did when they invented zero. It's a handy tool and it seems logical to assume nothing except it is a delusion in itself. There never was nothing. It does not exist now. And it never will even though we can easily imagine it did once. Even Stephen Hawking was puzzled when he made that very simple mistake and took the math all the way to its logical end which was right back where he started with the end statement identical to the assumption he made in the first place. Who can blame him? They are all insane. Everything they do is based on a delusion. They just have the audacity to proclaim their assumptions true instead of assuming the truth in the first place.”

“You do understand it, Frank,” the Inspiring One said, “But if that is so, what are you?”

“I am like the light of a candle flickering in the dark next to what our brains tell us was the original universe exploding trillions of years ago. Of course there was no such candle then and even what we call the Big Bang was a very minute explosion at the very end of what we imagine to be the universe, ignoring all those other universes which are more numerous than our brains can even imagine exist. In our delusions we see only darkness beyond our mundane tiny universe in our precious conceit, for no one of us including me can accept what God knows is true though totally irrelevant to us as long as we rely on our brains to process the information it has processed for us to begin with.”

“You do realize not many share your view of reality, the reality of God and prefer their own brand of delusion as you call it. But since much of that is as you say, irrelevant to humanity except that it magnifies God as they imagine him to be, it is a fair way to see it. It is fair to you. It seems fair to me. And God will support what you think in order to interact with you. Well done, Frank Li. You are not far from what they call the Kingdom of Heaven.”

“I have a problem,” I said, “If they are all mad, the scientists, the Buddhists, the Hindus, all of Islam, Judaism, Christianity, all other religions there maybe and even all atheists, how may I share the Light with them my own brain cannot deal with-? Who can I even communicate with that I might not be so lonely and view as if so completely insane, a thing I have found nearly as difficult to deal with as being in the Light. Their darkness is so distasteful and yet I must live in their delusions everyday, surely like Solomon I will give up in the end for wisdom's sake and worship things I know are not real in an attempt not to be too religious. To do it up right, do I really have to intentionally become a fool like everyone else here in this hell?”

“What do you think the Light does when God needs to interact with them? What did he do in your case?” the Inspiring One asked with compassion.

“He ignored my delusions,” I said, “And he listened to me even when I knew I wasn't making any sense. He forgave me knowing I was only reacting to what I couldn't deal with like everyone else. But he didn't leave me. He stayed with me and patiently helped me as I pursued it all the way to being perhaps the only sane one in a hellish place nearing the end of all their delusions, with patience, compassion and forgiveness. He loved me even when I was unlovable by everyone else who rejected me for being mad especially when they assumed I was mad in a way they couldn't understand well enough to reach out to me in it. I am so glad the Light helped me find the truth even as he Light can help them realize the truth. But so many will never believe me. It makes me so sad. The light is all around us. It even made us what we really are. But many of us will never be able to accept the truth even should someone lead them to it. They prefer their delusions to the truth and that is true also, but most cannot even accept that.”

“Surely the Light will help you understand how to reach even the insane,” the Inspiring One said. “Stay with me, Frank. Don't give up. Is there anything that cannot be revealed by the Light? There is nothing beyond the Light. If God can conceive of it, it potentially exists, meaning that if he has not already made it, he yet may if it seems good to him in any way.”

“I know it must be true. I just hope I can be like him and that someone will see his Light and be drawn to it even as I was. In the end of my madness I hope to always remember the Light even when I approach it as near as is possible for me. How God must love us not to destroy us. We are so different than he is. I once desired to give up and give into my depression and kill myself in my madness. But then we all must do that to some extent in the end. Am I right?”

“You are not wrong, Frank Li,” the Inspiring One said, “But there is nothing God cannot do. What can stop him from remembering you? He knows you now. He knows you know him. Mightn't he remember you even after everything you can imagine is burned up completely, even after all of your delusions are destroyed will he forget you and make you new, sane, and able to know his presence at all times forever? Nothing can be where the Light has not reached and whoever forms a good relationship with God will never be forgotten.”

“But I understand now that those who refuse to recognize the truth have suffered enough by the time of the end of their bodies including their brains and their error filled minds. He will not remember them, will he?” I said.

“So long as they hang onto their delusions they will be tormented when they remember the Light who will forget them in their total irrelevancy. Why would he want to interact with the hopelessly insane forever? It would serve no purpose past a certain point and if they never even accept the truth how useless are their delusions? They are purposeless and they have no significance what so ever past a certain point. Even God cannot love nothing. Why would he remember them and resurrect that?" The Inspiring One said without sadness for in a sense they never really existed like we do.

“Now they seek to torture the body and torment the mind. Then they will have no body which exists only in their delusions anyway just like mine. God will forget them and the fear of them will be no longer. All of the sane will turn away from them and the rest of the insane will not be able to reach them. Will they not be dead?” I said.

“They never really were anything else,” the Inspiring One concluded.