Chapter 1: Out of the Coma

“Listen to me, Frank Li,” the Inspiring One said, “I can't do this without you.”

I covered my ears but I could still here him as clearly as before.

“They are all just like you, Frank Li,” he said, “Way outside the normal, Frank; way, way outside the normal.”

I uncovered my ears since it did no good at all, anyway.

“You are insane to all of them, Frank Li,” he said, “But you know the truth now Frank Li. I am real.”

“Who-who are you?” I asked thinking I had finally gone insane alerting my mom to the fact I was no longer in a coma, for if he was right the rest of the world had gone insane and I was the only one in the entire world who was sane and that even included my mom.

“It's your mother Frankie!” my mom said compassionately with a tear in her eye, “It's okay, Frank. You were in a coma, Dear. Now you're back.”

“What the hell is she talking about?” I asked the Inspiring One.

My mom turned and pushed the red button in the end of the end of a gray cord attached to my-? Hospital bed!

“Don't let even your mom drag you back, Frank,” the Inspiring One said, “But Frank Li, they can't hear me because they deny my voice every time they hear me. You are not like them. You were like them, but the entire population of earth was insane then. You shut down rather than remain insane forever. Please Frank Li? Don't go back! Stay with me, Frank! Together we can help them, Frank Li. I will inspire you, Frank Li and you can be my voice, the voice of sanity, your sanity Frank Li, my truth and their only chance to be sane. Stay with me, Frank! Have I lied to you so far? I will never lie to you, Frank Li; never. But Frank Li, when they ask you about me, don't lie to them, but don't tell them the truth quite yet either. I'll tell you what to say to them. Are you with me, Frank? Speak to me by verbalizing your reply in your mind. I can hear your thoughts too, yet. But just stay with me, Frank Li! Stay with me...”

I had apparently closed my eyes when I felt a pin prick in my heel so I opened my eyes and said, “What the hell are you doing? That hurts, A*****e!” meaning the female doctor who had jammed a needle into my tender heel for God's sake!

She smiled as my mother began to cry silently, and the two nurses that were there smiled and became pleasantly surprised.

“That's good, Frank, um, Lee? Is it?” the doctor said just as I thought she was going to stab me with the pin again, “Don't worry, Frank. It's over. I won't do it again. I promise. You're okay now, Frank. You're okay. You are back with us, and we hope you will stay with us this time. You had us worried, Frank. Your brain shut down completely. But you're back now, Frank.” Then she turned to my mom and said, “He's back with us Anda! You will soon have your son back completely.”

“It's all lies!” I said though I didn't know whose lies to believe yet, the doctor and my mom and them or the Inspiring One?

“What's all lies, Frankie?” my mom asked as she moved in and held my hands which were folded on my chest as the others stepped back except for the doctor who put her hand on my mom's back and slowly rubbed it.

“It's alright, Anda,” she said to my mom, “He's a little disoriented is all. It'll take a while for his brain to clear from the medication. He should make more sense then, Ma'am.” Then she looked into my mom's eyes and into mine and said, “Love him, Anda! Truth will win out. He should be less delusional too. With these new anti-psychotics-? They work like a miracle when they work, Anda. Give them a chance to work.” Then she looked into my eyes and added, “Both of you. Give them a chance to work.”

“What if they don't work, Doctor Triing?” my mom said with a worried look and then with urgency clearly in her eyes she looked back toward my eyes, “What if they don't, Frankie?”

The doctor put her hand on my mom's shoulder and didn't say anything for a bit before she seemed to promise the both of us, “They will.”

“Don't believe them, Frank!” the Inspiring One said, “They don't know anything that can help you. And Frank Li, they've given up on that. That's why they've given you a placebo. There is nothing to help you in saline drips and distilled water, Frank Li. That's why they don't have a pill form of the medication yet, Frank Li. Stay with me, Frank! Don't give up on me yet! They know nothing. You don't either, yet. But I'm here to teach you, Frank. Just stay with me.”

My mom looked troubled as she let go of my hands and put her hands, one on each side of my face, “What's wrong, Son? What's wrong?”

“I don't know who to believe!” I said to both her and the Inspiring One at the same time.

“Why would they lie to you, Frankie?” she asked, amazed I didn't seem to believe what the doctor had said; what she hoped with all there was in her would work.

“How could it work?” I asked her.

“It's a chemical, Frankie,” she said, “They say it will trick the brain into allowing you to think like the rest of us and bring you back to normal; all the way back to us like when you were a little boy and didn't have delusions, or any more of that awful depression and anxiety.” Then she buried her head in my chest and sobbed out of control prompting me to tear up.

“It's okay, Frank,” the Inspiring One said, “Let it out if you want. You've been through hell. Just don't go back to that madness of theirs. It's your choice, Frank Li that hopeless, Godawful world of theirs or the truth, Frank? Just don't try to choose both. That doesn't work, Frank. That's what prompted you to shut your brain down. It wasn't long, but it gave me hope; hope for you, Frank Li, and hope for the entire population of earth.”

“What do I do?” I asked my mom and the Inspiring One at the same time.

“Just rest, Frank,” the doctor said to me, “You need to gain your physical strength right now. You'll feel a lot better when you wake up. I promise. Then we can work on the rest of things. Okay?”

I didn't know what to say so I just kept quiet and closed my eyes, but of course I didn't stand a chance in hell of sleeping. I knew their world. It was all full of lies. They all had model's of the truth they put in place of logic. Then they applied logic to their models and fooled themselves into believing their models were true when they only proved logic applied to a good model like logic applies to a good writing it was no stronger than the original assumption or to say it better, their own damned model.

It was all metaphorically so. But no one including me knew what the truth was anymore and everyone else, if not me also had lost the ability to know anything that was true anymore, to just sense the truth anymore like they were even before Adam did in Moses' illustration. They couldn't even recognize it anymore like Stephen Hawking who once was right where I really was right then.

We are really where we think we are or there is no way to tell where we all came from. We are all like the Inspiring One, or we are like the physical world and everything we think, feel, say and do is all that matters just like everything else in the merely physical dimension.

I didn't know anymore. But I knew I existed. Anything else is ridiculous. No matter what I am, I am that. And that is the only legitimate starting place, really.

“Do you remember what it was like when you were asleep?” the Inspiring One asked.

“No,” I verbalized in my mind, “If you mean this time that is.”

“Close your eyes, Frank,” the Inspiring One ordered.

“Why?” I asked.

The Inspiring One was silent. Then I thought about it a while but in the end I did it, not on purpose but automatically.

“Keep them closed a bit, Frank,” the Inspiring One said.

“Why?” I asked feeling annoyed with it.

“I want to show you something,” the Inspiring One said.

I didn't say anything but waited for him to show me something I hoped would be meaningful if not interesting. Then I imagined it was pure darkness behind my eyelids even though it wasn't.

“Stay with me, Frank,” the Inspiring One said, “Try not to imagine anything.”

I quit concentrating on imagining darkness and spent a little time seeing what the Inspiring One was trying to show me when I stopped not paying attention to what I saw and instead was just waiting for the Inspiring One to show me something. But when he didn't say anything I saw pure darkness when I tried to see what I had been seeing before, realizing it had not been darkness at all, but light!