Attainable...

I'm the taker, youre the faker, youre my soul humiliator...but youre all I can think about, I'm the lust you can't live without...

 

  Youre the beggar, I'm the chooser, so you brand me the abuser...It's your love I cant be without, It's my words that make you scream out loud..

 

I'm the pessimistic liar with the mouthful of sin, Youre the hopeful converter with the beautiful grin...It's each other we cant live without, It's our yearning that makes us fight and shout...

 

We've lost our way but not our will, the potency in our love makes us ill, we've become gluttons never getting our fill...

 

It's the laughter we cant live without, It's ourselves that we can never doubt...

Reviews

[justjenn_2u]

Your formatting of your writing is different here. I find it interesting and see other possibilities of how you could lay this out. Perhaps this is your style all your own, and I am not knocking it, just letting you know that you could expand the layout. : )

I enjoyed the personification of each person in this piece - of you and her. Thanks for sharing a personal look into each of you.

I see she would love to convert you but I have found that changing another person is merely impossible unless that person wants to change him or herself. Too often in life, we feel we can mold another.

Thanks for sharing your words here. Enjoyable!

[J.P. Bristow]

Love this could see it being read at a poetry Slam or angrily read at an open mic night with frustratingly steady hands. This controlled emotion teeters on the brink......fragrantly familiar tea in a cracked cup.

[The Analog Kid]

I love the rhyming. The raw form is what makes this great.

Pat

[Bette]

i like this different, but it flows great. well done

Absolutely love the rhyming, it makes this write flow without a flaw.

it's fascinating that someone so beautiful or flawless could love someone with countless issues. ironic, I think.

[MagiCrystal]

I am the reader and the judge... so now i will brutally honest
you strike me as a soul who likes mixing pain and lust
dunno.. i could be wrong

You're the beggar, I'm the chooser, so you brand me the abuser. And a lier.. damn



here i see 2 things...
but love is a mix, who knows what love is
could be an emotion or illusion.. and a vision or a dream
who knows? Love can makes us lose the mind and the sanity... along with the path and destiny..

[Jacqueline Lopez]

I love the flow to the poem and best of all, I loved the rhymes. It's also true we can never doubt ourselves.

[Seracies]

I could snap my fingers to the beat of this one. I loved the dynamic relationship of it, the realism, how both sides were conveyed to a rhythm that was enjoyable to read.

[Kiddx]

I'm the pessimistic liar with the mouthful of sin, Youre the hopeful converter with the beautiful grin...It's each other we cant live without, It's our yearning that makes us fight and shout...

I love these lines here, This is awesome, there's some truth in this as well, well written

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

This is a very well written piece creative, the words flow nicely

Thanks for entering my contest and the best of luck.