Together Forever...

Mid to upper 90's an uncomfortable humid day..thunderstorms approa"Click" she turns off the radio, her hair sticks to the back of her neck.. raindrops begin to fall on the windshield..."Why did he leave me?".

She looks in the rear view mirror, tears skim down her face, the light turns green and she hits the gas but apparently not fast enough for the idiot behind her blaring his horn.

A minute or two later she rolls up her window, the sound of rain pelting her car reminds her of how much he likes this weather.The airconditioner is'nt working, making her clothes stick to her body..She begins to reminisce about a typical argument...Do you love me? she would ask, I do he would respond..Then why dont you like to spend time with me? I love being with you Im just tired or feeling sick were two of his favorite phrases that would always seem to infuriate her.

"How could he just leave?" I should have seen some clue, he began to work out more,eventually losing enough weight to warrant a new wardrobe, he did'nt eat as much so we started to spend less time together going out to dinner or even ordering in.

The rain has evolved into a terrible downpour, even with the wipers on high perception is dreadful.."You said youd never leave me, how can I live my life without you? We could have worked through this together..why did'nt you just tell me what was going on?"

The humidity is so unbearable, the rain is now a blurred sheet over her car and her anger and frustration have made it worse..It's become harder to breathe and she feels a bit claustrophobic, the rains pitter patter has now converted into a static noise that scrambles her thoughts making it hard to think clearly, so she proceeds to think outloud to herself.

"You said you loved me but I guess it was'nt enough for you to tell me the truth, how could you lie to me? how could you just wait till the last minute and not give us a chance to work things out?"When you told me you were watching what you were ate and began to physically change I never gave it a second thought, how was I supposed to know it was cancer?

The sweat and tear mixture burns her eyes a glossy red, her hair tossed about is now clinging to the side of her face, the rain is so loud now that shes almost yelling out to herself making it even harder to breathe...You said it was too far along, that there was no reason for both of us to suffer.But you knew three months in advance, three months that we could have shared in a different light...instead you gave me your final hours...

..You said you would never leave me,.."together forever"...

Her eyes widen as she sees a red streak dart by her.."together forever"...

She hits the breaks, the world grows silent except for the few deep breaths she takes that are magnified tenfold in her ears..."together forever"...in slow motion the car slides out of control.....

"This is chopper 13 reporting on a two car accident where a fatality has been disclosed, witnesses say th"Click"......................

...Together Forever..

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Laura E. Aranda]

This is the first piece that I have returned the favor and read by you....Can I fix spellings? Will you get mad? I hope not...I really want to keep you around! haha
BUT ... I did see a few things I wanted to let you know about...
is'nt

You really want to use: isn't instead...

There were a few conjuctions like that but other than that I was captivated....very heart-in-my-mouth kind of story!!!!!
Cheers,lea

[Bette]

nice... i absolutely love it well done!

[Jacqueline Lopez]

Juan, you're absolutely amazing. In the beginning I thought he was a cheating b*****d, but you pulled The Others (movie) on me. I loved how you surprise me with the fact he had cancer. I didn't see it coming. YOU'RE THE MAN!!!

[justjenn_2u]

You have a knack for stories, I must say. I enjoyed how you keep the reader curious. At first, I thought he had broke up with her and that he was working out for his own good, maybe to be with someone else. As I read, I had to swallow deep when I realized it was cancer. The most ironic part of this story is when she wrecks while she is thinking about being together forever. Well, I guess now, she will be together forever should she and him both go to heaven. Otherwise, the memory of him would have been etched in her mind forever. I believe, sometimes, that memories are the sweetest thing. No one can steal memories away from us.

Good story from start to finish. Yes, maybe some grammatical errors, but you wrote this story so well - I believe any reader should be able to get past that. I am a proof reader by my nature and I enjoy proof reading. You did an awesome job getting this story out in a clear way, the reader is able to understand.

[Kiddx]

this is so heartbreaking and so sad, very well written, I saw a few minor typos, but all in all i didn't take away from the write.

[Suki]

Oh wow how sad... : ( I hope this wasn't a true life experience. It's good though. Good imagery.