Neil Armstrong and Lance Armstrong on the moon..?

An imagination of Neil Armstrong and Lance Armstrong meeting on the moon

  

 

Neil Armstrong is presently living on the moon and is used to hopping and walking on the moon twice a day. He is damn sure and proud that he is the only human being who set his (left) foot right on the moon, first. He knows well that he is the only human soul whom God authorized ( using his veto power) to live and spend another fifty years on the moon, in recognition of his world record feet, nay, world record feat. Along with this unique gift, God granted him a great boon. In order to enable Armstrong to survive on the moon, God created certain special plants and water-well (God seems to be aware of the fact that the lunar soil has sizable oxygen). All Neil has to do is draw a pail of water from the moon well and pour it into the plant, once a week. Then he would get moony-leaf vegetables, twice a day.  It tastes different every day except that it doesn’t satisfy his taste buds. To add more to Neil's boon cap, God enabled him to consume moon-soil, as a staple food. He only has to dig up some soil and boil it under the borrowed sunlight from the earth. Luckily certain tools and gadgets left back (forgotten) by the successors who landed on the moon, come in handy to serve as shovels, cutters, plates, and mugs in addition to two pairs of dresses. He takes shower in the moon-well as per his wish which is once a month. (Neil hates to shower on a daily basis). God also spared him from wearing an astronaut suit and made Neil’s body suit the moon. When Neil takes the soil and crushes it between his hands it turns into moon sugar.  Neil is fond of sweets so he crushes the moon soil often in a day. But the sweetness on the moon is bitterly different from the sweets of his original sweet home. A cup of moon-hurt (an equivalent of yogurt) is made instantly by adding water to the instant sugar. Though the moon-hurt doesn’t hurt Neil’s nails or cause him piles he is hurt inside for its hurting his taste buds. It is nearly ten years since Neil is not only surviving but is enjoying a new lease of life on the moon. Heart of heart he knows that he got fifty years of bonus to living somewhat near to the earth which by itself is a miraculous boon. Since there is no atmosphere on the moon, to date, he has never fallen on the moon or fallen ill and as such, there is no need for any pill or to pay the medical bill. The place where he lives is always bright, with minimum darkness. Therefore Neil finds sleeping an uncertain uncomfortable daily project. But he somehow manages to get a few hours of sleep to keep himself active. Like people from the earth watching the moonlight, Neil gazes into Earth light, a shining spectacular. 

 

One day, it was a usual routine for Armstrong. He was walking and hopping on the western sector of the moon, wondering “how nice it would be if I were to be with a moonshine-like friend". He was already contemplating praying to God to arrange a companion, preferably a moon like beautiful girl. Suddenly he felt something from behind striking him hard. Before he could realize that a cyclist had hit him, Neil Armstrong rose high, one hundred feet above the moon's surface. To his utter bewilderment and shock, he noticed a man (yes, an earthly man) falling in slow motion along with him. During their fall onto the moon's surface, the following conversation took place in the air (without any air in between them).
Neil Armstrong: Hey, what the hell are you doing here?
The other: Hi, Neil, Can't you recognize my voice?
Neil Armstrong: oh, yes, are you Lance Armstrong, the world record-holding cyclist, now holding to your cycle?
Lance Armstrong: Yes, absolutely correct Neil. You have nailed it.
Neil: I am unable to understand whether I am on the moon or earth.
Lance: Certainly it is not earth. We are still 80 feet above the moon's surface. How come you are roaming here when the world has already framed your photos and termed you as Late Armstrong?
Neil hesitates for a moment but then tells Lance the truth. Lance could not believe what Neil had told him. He thought to himself “Let me also pray to God and wish like Neil so that I could also make moon my home, if possible with one of my very few trusted girlfriends, who unfortunately are no one". 
Neil: Now, tell me Lance by which rocket shuttle did you reach here, surprisingly with your old cycle as well?
Lance: what to say, pal, after being stripped of my Olympic ml in cycling for failing the doping test, I lost interest to live in the world. One week ago, in my sleep, I dreamed of cycling to the moon and somehow remembered and thought about you for a long time. Now I am dumbstruck to find myself here with my cycle, although damaged now slightly after hitting your back...
Neil: How come you know that you dreamed one week before?
Lance: Unlike me, my wristwatch doesn't speak a lie. It is showing today's date. It means I have been cycling one week above the earth, that too in my cycle.
Neil: How did you survive without a moon suit and food?
Lance: It seems I am immune to space weather and the space suits my body very well. Probably space has special care and attention for World-class cyclists. So where is the question of wearing a space suit? Fortunately, I had two packs of cookies and three bottles of mineral water. Somehow, managed to land on the one man's land. Right now I believe it is two-man land.

Neil: Well, how come you hit me from behind, when I have been hopping in such slow motion?

Lance: Oh, come on Neil, I thought of having a small ride on my cycle on reaching this incredible place. It was with extreme difficulty I started to pedal my cycle here. I could not imagine anyone to be walking here and perhaps taking you to be a moving man-shaped rock piece.. But now I understand it won't be possible that easily.
At this point in time, the two champions descended on the moon's surface. In the next moment, Neil kicks Lance with a punching blow.

Lance Armstrong woke up, in horror, looking confused, bemused, and confounded, all in compounded degree. He slowly realized that his dream got broken just then. He looked at his wristwatch and smiled at himself "I have created one more record of dreaming non-stop for 24 hours which cannot be striped". He then casually looked around for his cycle but was shocked to note it was missing. "Even I don't have anybody living with me. Who would have stolen my wonder cycle? “He wondered. In the next moment he got convinced “oh, I cycled into the moon and left it back on my return to earth". 

Around the same time, Neil Armstrong felt distracted from his limited hours of sleep at the foothill of heaven which is a stone's throw away from hell. He is still waiting in the long queue for heaven in charge’s scrutiny so as to find his way whether towards heaven or hell. Well, only time will tell.