A Glass House

We were packed and moved not even two weeks later. This house wasn’t quite as big. The move had surprised Deenie as well as he new baby, and although ecstatic about it not being yours she still feared for me. You were loose cannon.

I hadn’t bothered to call Leo to tell him that I was carrying his son. I was four months pregnant and wanted to move on. You and I went about our relationship and acted as though we were happy. You even got a job to support your drug addiction. I’d given up hope on becoming anything other than yours.

As my belly began to swell for the second time you decided not to share your most intimate secrets with this child. Maybe because it wasn’t yours. You also became angrier with me as time passed.

Dulcey easily noticed my growing abdomen and quickly became the opposite of you.

At the same time you’d become careless about where you left your needles…

“Dulcey?” I called for her, “Let’s go to the store, c’mon Dulce.” I searched the house for her.

“Dulcey!” I screamed.

I’d found her wide eyed and pupils dilated. She lie still with a needle inserted and empty.

“I take shot like Daddy,” she spoke faintly before her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

The ambulance came quickly but not fast enough.

Dulcey Annemarie Hartford, 1998 �" 2003, age five.

The funeral was short and sweet. My family flew in to attend. You didn’t argue, just stood in the back and watched from a distance. Deenie bought me a locket to keep her around my neck and with me always. Besides that I had nothing, and wanted for nothing. There was this ache that I couldn’t seem to kill.

Mom placed her arm around me as she wept for a grandchild she only saw pictures of yet loved nonetheless. I couldn’t breathe because I actually thought it was a sick hallucination that I was having cause by too much stress. But it was the truth, this was the truth and not another one of your well thought out lies.

Never had I been at such a loss, with nothing to hold onto but dolls and a quickly fading scent of a child that you killed. I assumed you kicked the habit because you felt guilty. I did catch you crying in the basement where you kept the piano. Maybe you loved her after all? Or at least more than you portrayed. I wanted to hug you and make it all go away, but I would only allow you to feel just as much if not more pain then me.

I kept her door closed, it physically hurt to walk by it.

I didn’t want you to see into her private place where only Mommy was invited.

My belly was severely swollen and walking became a chore. I was determined not to let you near this one, rather it was yours or not.

I sat at your piano, playing.

“I got rid of the needles,” you came behind me.

“I’m glad someone had to die before you decided to do so,” I kept playing.

“I didn’t know.”

“Tell me Eric, what’s got you in a million little pieces?” I stopped playing for the moment only to continue moments later.

“I didn’t mean to Hannah. I didn’t think she could reach them,” you actually sounded sorry. Because in all actuality you really were.

“You know if that were you, I would have been just fine finding you on the floor. I know you never wanted to be a father Eric, granted. But did you honestly think she wouldn’t find it eventually?” I was monotone and refused to face him.

You raised your hand to slap me.

“Go ahead, I won’t feel it,” I turned and faced you.

“You’ve made a major mistake as well last I recall,” you pointed to my unborn child.

“If it was a mistake to give life, then I can only imagine what your idols think of you now. Seeing as how you not only snuffed life out but your own daughters.”

Your eyes watered as you looked at me mortified.

“Go pray Eric,” I turned around and started playing your piano again, “Repent for everything you’ve ever done. Idols don’t look kindly upon sinners such as yourself.”

There wasn’t a damn thing you could say to me, and you didn’t. You just stood there mouth agape.

“Hurry,” I mocked you, “Since going to hell would be the stone that shatters your glass house.”

You cried, not for your daughter but for your own sake. You couldn’t contain yourself, falling to the floor your body thrust back and forth as you sobbed allowed. Calling your idols’ names you began to beat at yourself.

You were coherent and I had hurt you finally, it just wasn’t enough.

Reviews

[r]

.....WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! i would have YELLED at the F*****G COMPUTER but i didnt want to wake up my uncle. SO i just stared at it in completely shock and squeaked slightly quiet "WHAT"s!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!!? HOW. LIKE...... i dont know what to freaking say ACCEPT WHAT!?!?!?!? i DIED. i think i literally DIED INSIDE. D:

and yet i love how she makes him sob on the floor. how she hurt him like that. it was amazing. and i love it. you wrote this chapter very extremely well. ilike how he is ACTUALLY sorry, the f*****g b*****d. T^T