I Want

This is a poem me and my friend started, and i finished. Its not for anyone specific, its just what we want, what would need and crave in life. everything we could and do dream of. My friend is a guy by the way, and we are talking about girls. haha. this

I Need:

Something to purge my soul

Something to make me long

Something to saturate my heart

 

I Crave:

Every moment to feel your embrace

To touch your sweet lips

To see your beautiful face

 

I Want:

You here by my side

As we watch the stars

They twinkle in your eyes

 

I Desire:

Your heart to twine

With everlasting love

In bondage with mine

 

I Adore:

Your heart warming smile

Your sweet subtle whisper

You hand, so softly, in mine

Author's Note

Its a description of just about everything I could dream for, regarding romance. but feel free to judge,
i'm open for anye advice.

Reviews

[Haley Smith]

This is great. It's unashamedly romantic. Awesome!

[Annique le Roux]

ah this is so amazing and the feelings that you portray through it are awesome. I really enjoyed it and by the time i got to the end, i wished that it carried on longer :)
a bit of advice though, that you don't have to use, but it's my opinion:
* be careful with using the word 'pretty'. given the feelings you are portraying in this poem, you need a stronger word to describe your affections
* 'suttle' should be spelt 'subtle'
* 'in a bondage with mine' i think it should be 'in bondage with mine'. the 'a' doesnt seem to fit....

other than this, this poem is beautiful!

[Ebs]

Beautiful and sweet. It had a really nice pattern to it. If i was you though i'd make the 'c' on crave a capital like on the other words.
well done

ebs

[Adelia Alighieri]

It's really 'cute'!!
Great Job!!
And, always there to appreciate.