Sacks

Second poem I've written for the Modern Metamorphoses series. I'm not going to describe it here, because I don't want to infringe on any interpretation. Enjoy.

Sacks

I wanted a friend, one who loved me

No matter what, who was less smart,

Less strong, but full of heart.

I wanted a friend to play God.

So I prayed to God for one

Who forgave the little things

And loved the skin I gave him

And marvelled at my strength.

But no matter how hard I prayed

My friends always seemed

Less than. They wanted so 

Much to be heard, and

Shielded their eyes to my 

Strength, and, day after day,

I would see less and less of

Their heart through their eyes.

So I decided to be God

And fashion a friend like 

He did in His solitude

By sculpting the mud underfoot.

I set to work with a gunny sack,

And set apart its burlap skin

To make a Jute man

Full of heart.

Recalling my past friends

I took from them those

Qualities I liked most.

One friend stood straight and brave;

I gave the Jute his spine.

Another had an artist's eyes

Which I placed on his face.

Another a silver tongue

That I sewed the Jute with.

And from all I took a little

Of their heart, until the burlap skin

Overflowed seeping love.

The Jute forgave me everything

And stared with loving eyes

And did not oppose me,

Although he had a silver tongue.

Each day the skin would tear

As his heart grew in size.

It pained me to see his love

For me break him,

So I reached into my 

chest and placed in his 

Mouth my final gift 

For him to swallow

Because I loved the Jute

I decided to name him.

As God called his: adam,

As God I, fading, spoke: golem.

Author's Note

Interpretations, criticisms, opinions. All is welcome.

Reviews

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

I liked this right upto the last line.
For me it's the wrong ending, I don't know the right ending but this just doesn't feel right.
I love the story told along the way. The idea is superb. The poem very well done.
beautiful use of words, silver tongue, such a clever way to say he was silver tongued.
Excellent. just look for a better last line.

[Joshua Rawlins]

Thanks, I'll have another think about the last line. To be honest it didn't feel quite right there either. I just felt that it had to end on this kind of note, signifying his self imposed power, loneliness, etc. I might also have to extend it a little bit. Did you have any particular interpretation?