Between the Numbers

Between the Numbers~~by: j.benjamin rose

Terry lies naked on his back, breathing heavily and holding the spent condom in his shaking right hand, "I need to get cigarettes." Sophie rolls toward him so her face is inches from his, "I need a shower" and she bounces over him and off the bed, heading for the bathroom. He watches her leave the room and absent-mindedly rests his gaze on the condom.
He imagines the reaction of his catholic family, the cinematogropher in his mind taking over.

 There they are, standing on a street corner sobbing for the loss of the innocents. Encircling the rubber some distant cousin, some papal crusader, would arrive finding the family veiled, dressed in black and weeping. Cousin would kneal and administer mouth to prophylactic resuscitation until the paramedics could arrive. With miniature paddles, an EMT would attempt to jumpstart flagellum until, while dabbing the sweat from his brow, saying, "I've done all I can" and cousin, arms outstretched would scream to the heavens "WHYYYYYYYY GOD WHYYYYY-EEEE!" as grandma faints. A chalk outline would be drawn around the condom and tiny crime scene tape would secure the area until the corpses could be removed on a little gurney. The little gurney would then be loaded onto an ambulance. There would be bouquets and crucifixes made of roses left on that corner until, finally, he fathered a child. So, basically, for eternity.
"Terry are you still going to the store?" Sophies voice from the shower brings him back.
"Yes."
"Get me a cheese danish. No, get me two-o-o cheese danishes."
"You can say please."
"Well, if I get what comes in my mouth, you get what comes out."
"Fair enough," he's sheepish.
"I should say so."
Spohie soon emmerges from the bathroom in a white robe toweling her hair dry and smiling, "Y'know, we used to think you were asexual."
"Really? I used to think if I were the last person on the planet you'd be a lesbian."
"But, if we were the last people on the planet who would I be a lesbian with?"
"You know what I'm saying."
"Your're saying you're an idiot?" she's toying with him."I'm saying I never would've thought you could find me attractive."
"Because you never pay attention, because your head is always in a book. I swear, I think, for you, when people speak the words are typewritten above their heads and you're correcting punctuation." Sophie drops her towel and pounces on top of him "AWWW he so adorable." She straddles him. "Seriously, we sent all the hot girls over and when you didn't react we started sending guys, even the cute UPS guy with nice legs; no response, ergo he's asexual." He grins until she asks "What?

What are you smiling at?"
"They sent all the beautiful girls over except you."
"UGH!" she covers his face with a pillow "Lemme guess, you've never felt this way before" she is being melodramatic and feigns a swoon before tossing the pillow aside."Terry, what's that in your hand?"
"The condom"
"Why are you still holding it?"
"Because the wastebasket is way over there" he points slowly and lazily.
"Thats like eighteen inches away."
"well...I'm tired and that seems like alot of movement right now...It's been awhile" he doesnt blush but feels the prickly heat of it in his cheeks and adds "since Februrary 3rd"
"Februrary 3rd that's not too..."
"Februrary 3rd, three years ago."
"What?" she screams then lowers her voice "What? Why? No. Terry. What?Honey, sex is your godgiven right, you are allowed sex baby" her voice holds humor and pity. "Well, he says, "I've just been abstinant."
"Abstinant or obstinate?" There is a long pause before she says "Well, you did a great job for it having been 'awhile' and to be so drunk."
"I'm not drunk." his response is matter-of-fact.
"Well, I am" she is defensive, confused 
"I know."
"What doya mean, 'Iknow'?"
"Nothing I just know."
"This is weird. I'm drunk and you're not...I thought you were."
"I don't drink."
"You dont?"

"No"

"You don't? I feel really weird, kinda creeped out."
"I'm creepy because I'm sober?"
"No, it's the equation: I'm drunk plus you're not. Like I've been taken advantage of or something."
"But, YOU approached me, YOU kissed me and YOU led me up HERE, which, I might add, is YOUR room"
"I though you were completely loaded.I thought we were both completely loaded."
"Well, if you average it out we are both half loaded."
"But you're not loaded at all!"
"I was trying to be funny" he says apologetically.
"No, it's ok, I'm ok it just struck me funny. Don't you think it would strike you funny?"
"I dont know, I'm too busy being struck funny by your reaction."
Ther is a long silence before he asks, "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"
"Why, are you considerin' asking me to dinner Mr. Terrence?" her voice is a pale imitation of Scarlet O'hara the kind reserved solely for New Yorkers.
"Considering it, yes."
"Well, dont worry about it. You don't have to do that."
"I just thought..."
"That we were dating now? I know you've been out of the game for a bit so here's the score: This is a convention and these things happen."
He considers her words as he dresses, "O.K. if you say so" he pauses "Two cheese danishes in fifteen minutes?"
"Please and thank you.
He exits the room and after the door closes behind him breathes a sigh of disappointment.
Sophie moves to lay in the exact same spot, in the exact same position Terry was just in. She buries her face in his pillow, smelling his smell. She is smiling.

Reviews

[Pink Poison]

Hilarious, yet poignant. I love the paramedics trying to resucitate the condom. I can picture the whole story very well. You descriptions and dialogue amaze as always. You have quite the talent, sir.

[Clarisse Nanoit]

Your imagination fascinates me. That whole movie thing he imagined made me laugh. The thing is, though, say I thought of something like this, I never would've thought of making it into a story. And yet, you do it so craftily. :P Congrats... I SWEAR, if you ever create an anthology of your short stories, I'll have to purchase more than one copy so I gift friends and family with your amazing talent.
KH

[Inda Lauryn]

This is a strange and fascinating story. I loved the whole movie imagination that goes through Terry's head. I immediately thought back to it when they discuss February 3rd. There are a few typos, but I really enjoyed this story. Good read.