open letter

 

 

 Hatred bends my eye

 to this terrible perspective

affording me no joy

loathing removes me from my moments

subtracts me from my own life.

 

 

She says, "Well that's cheery."

"Why are you reading that?"

"Because you always promise me I'll get to and you never let me."

"And now you see why."

"What, you think I didn't know about your little dark side?"

"Don't call it 'my little dark side'."

"I'm sorry. What, you think I didn't know about your big, fat juicy, long, hard, dark side?" 

"Ha HA. It just makes me feel silly; calling it my 'little dark side' makes it sound, I dunno, almost cuddly."

"It doesn't make it sound cuddly. But yes, I do intend for it to make you feel silly, silly"

"To me it sounds cuddly, plushy grim reaper riding shotgun in Barbie's dream car. But, why would you want to make me feel silly when I'm obviously expressing some sort of depression artistically?"

"First of all, Barbie is related in no way to any of the plushy toys so why would one be in her dream car. Now, maybe a plushy grim reaper to go along with the Pound Puppies or the Cabbage Patch Kids but even that   is a stretch."

"Whatever, the question is why would you want to make me feel silly about writing something dark?"

"Well, first of all, I would ask you why is it you rush to me insisting I immediately read anything you write that is romantic but you hide and endlessly revise all the angry self-loathing pieces?"

"And?"

"What do you mean 'annnnd'?"

"That is the second time you've said 'First of all' without any secondary point. So?"

"So  what ?"

"So, what's the secondary point?"

"Answer the question!?"

"What was the question?"

"Why do you  endlessly revise the shortest if the subjest is your own self hate but you write the romantic or sad bits in, what seems to be, one go?"

"Because those are easier for me to write. And, I think of the sad and romantic to be 'pretty' so it's kinda like bringing you flowers. Now, the reason I hide the self haters is kind of embarassing."

"Ooh, why?"

"Well, like I said, they are more difficult to write and I am still trying to protect the image I want you to have of me as the brilliant writer."

"Aw how sweet."  

"What?"

"What what?"

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Honestly, because you still worry about what I think about your writing and not so deep down in there you connect it with how much I love you."

"I think it says a lot about how much I think of you."

"Or how little you think of yourself."

"Yes, probably, which is why I am writing the dark self-loathing stuff."

"But, there must be some reason it doesn't come as naturally as the romantic stories."

"Well, hopefully that just means the romantic portion is winning."

"Maybe then "Maybe then you should stick to writing from a  seeing-the-romance-in-life-be-it-happy -joyess-and-free-or-sweetly-bitter point of view and forget the darkself-hating crud. Maybe, just maybe, it would even affect your general disposition in a positive way?"

"Yeah, maybe. But, I don't want to stop writing it just because it's difficult. Don't you think, as a writer, I have a responsibility to my talent to explore various themes and writing in different voices?"

"Oh, my GOD!"

"What?"

"Oh...MY...GOD!"

"WHAT?"

"I'm just going to pretend you didn't just say 'a responsibility to my talent.'"

"Look I know that sounds a bit self important but you know what I mean."

"I know, I was only 15% serious. Actually, it feels good to hear you refer to your writing so ambitiously. Really, I'm kind of impressed. And, it make sense. I guess, being that I am not a writer I've never thought of it as something you can practice."

"Well, sure it is. I mean, look at what's going on right now."

"You mean why is every word being written down as quickly as it comes to the author's mind?"

"Sure."

"Are you asking if I like it?"

"Yeah, I guess, partly."

"Well, it's everything to us isn't it? Our existence relies solely on keystrokes. What about you? Do you like it?"

"Sure. I guess it's ok. Apparently, I'm slightly neurotic, mildly intelligent and have a supportive significant other. In fact, I would say the author and myself are quite similer if not identical."

"I'd say you're a bit more neurotic than 'slightly' and there is a much more important difference than your level of neuroses." 

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Well, since you are an author in this little story, I'd bet it's fair to say you are the author and the author is you, agreed?"

"Sure, yeah."

"So, who am I? What is my tie to the outside world?"

"He's either thinking of someone from his past or a person he hopes to have in his life in the future."

"Or both?"

"Yes, or both."

"So, the only reason he is writing this is to express his longing for this person?"

"Yes, perhaps this is the only way he knows how to communicate such feelings?"

"Or, perhaps he sees it as a romantic idea. That he wants her to read our conversation and know, in her heart that it is about her!"

"Ooh, that's goooood. You think she would know?"

Reviews

[Pink Poison]

Interesting story...at first it seemed like a poem, but then the dialogue caught me. It's a very unique way to write, but who would have expected less from you? I like the realism of the conversation. It seems almost like eavesdropping. Great job

[Clarisse Nanoit]

Wow. A story written completely in dialogue... A lot of your stories are written mainly in dialogue, and this is something I've always secretly admired. I wish I had the courage to do that, but in the end, I always feel like my words are too weak to carry the characters' feelings enough to get the main point across. Idk, but enough about me. Very, very nice story. The dialogue is SO fantastic. The conversation is catchy and keeps the reader hanging. It's so cute... The relationship here. I love this piece!!!!!!
KH