Open skies

This slow dry autumn
Ignites the leaves
Flaming beneath open skies.

Stray mist
Paints floating mountains
Without a why.

Reviews

[DoormanDan]

This poem is awesome(5 thumbs up from me!), but I didn't get the last line(sorry if it's obvious, I'm just a bit slow at times). The first three lines are classically awesome material for sure. Good job!

[Maria Ioannou]

Jay, you wanted me to talk about the second stanza. I think it's the 'without a why' that throws me off, and possibly that the mist doesn't sound substantial enough to 'paint' the mountains. I think 'I love the first stanza' is a little more than mild approbation!

[Jay Chapel]

Thanks Maria. I quite agree about the second. The 'mild approbation' was not aimed at your comment but a reference to the general anodyne atmosphere here. I suspect this is more a social space than a poetical one.

[Maria Ioannou]

It does seem a bit like that. I don't know many sites that are truly about crtique... It seems that as a reaction to trolling and people being really vile online, lots of people think to not be that they have to just be effusive in their praise and always supportive. But, now you know that I can take proper criticism and I think I know that you can too. Who knows, we might build a different culture.

[Maria Ioannou]

I love the first stanza, with the its fire and leaves and sense of a moment of the year that is full of anticipation.