Diamonds Fall

Diamonds fall from your face, cheeks swollen, looking for heat without a trace. Mama, Papa, where are you? You say as thunders touch the ceiling and the stars spit some rain. The moon mocks you with her crescent smile: When will you finally embrace this darkness you call home? She says. You hide undercovers, your most loyal protectors. You feel so secure behind these hollowed, thin layered pieces of cloth, as if they were walls, a fortress. What a lovely and convenient illusion that is.

Silence feels comfortable. Until a cracked sound makes every hair jump from your pale skin. It's just the wind whispers a demon in your ear. Chills running down your spine, nowhere else for them to go. Because how would it feel to have arms, or even more, to have legs?
Just how would it feel to be able to walk, walk away from things that scare you. Or be able to open the windows and finally see that bright thing that makes half of the day more safe to your senses, trying to sneak in it's many little straight arms through the wooden walls that face your sides and roof. As if it just moved around, trying to see if it can reach you.
Just how wonderful would it be if I could do such things?

"If" what a word. It only takes one simple sigh to come out of your lungs. But so many nerve cells to create the mental scenario it is used for. It is fueled by the uncomformist, idealist side of us. By our dreams, our wish of "meant to be". Which are themselves fueled by the nightmares, the pain it causes us to live this way. Unable to see, as everything is dark. Unable to close my eyes as it only calls my friends to come and play. As if I didn't get enough of them when they come on their own. They call themselves ghosts, demons, incubus, ghouls. I don't even know anymore. I stopped paying attention to their words after I realized the only thing they would talk about is how they are the fear, the hatred, the insecurities, the ignorance, the darkness that dulled my sight. And that's not all of it. I got done when they said they lived only in my mind.
Just how insane could that be? I wasn't imagining the hunger I felt in all my body, for light, for movement, for knowledge, for fun, for love. They were the ones eating my food away. And I know I was next. They were real and not even them could trick me about that. Even though I can recall a different feeling from my two creators, they were just a long-lost fuzzy memory, an early evening dream, a past life picture engraved in the walls of my consciousness. If by casualty these beings around me weren't real... There was nothing else I could compare them with besides myself. And sometimes I felt they were even more real than me.
"Just who or what was real?"

If by chance this roof couldn't stand the rain that punches it and breaks above me, and all those fresh tears of the sky fell below me, filling the room little by little, inch by inch, soaking up all the darkness around me, absorbing me in her seemingly endless hunger to satiate thirst, soaking my feet, my hands, my ears, as I felt the bed colder than before, going through my mouth, my nose. I try to take the water out through my eyes, but I realize it was my own body's water coming out of them, slowly filling my lungs, eradicating any possibility of even saying "what if". As I drown in a new darkness, finally free from the old: Would I then, be able to breath?