Lifelines

Something I wrote after watching 13 Reasons Why. That series really hit me where I live. We need people in our lives in order to survive.

Everyday of our lives,

We need something to hold on to.

Everyday, every minute, every second.

We need something that will keep us sane,

That keeps us alive.

We need something that makes us feel whole.

Something that gives us a warm feeling.

Everyday we all need something,

That is our reason to wake up in the morning,

We all need something that is our reason,

The reason to go through every s****y day

And is our reason for smiling,

Before we go to bed.

Those things are called Lifelines.

Everyone has their own lifeline,

For some people it's a friend,

A trusted companion.

For girls it may be the gossip girl you see everyday.

She’s the first one you see when you walk through the door.

You’re walking through the hallways and…

There’s so many people but you don’t see them.

You’ll see that one girl.

She’s the one you immediately go to and the first thing you say isn't,

“Hey”.

It's not “How you doing?”

The first thing is more like “Oh my god…” or “Did you hear?...”

Or “Guess what happened…”

That’s a Lifeline.

For guys it’ll be that one bro.

You know? It’ll be the guy who,

When you go up to him….

It’s almost the same for guys.

Everyone else is blanked out.

You see a few mates here and there but there’s always that one dude.

And the first thing you say isn’t,

“Hey”,

It’s not “How’re you doing?”

It usually starts with,

“Dude, I was so wasted last night, you won’t guess what happened…”

That’s the first thing you say.

Sometimes with guys, you don't say anything at all.

You just nod, fist bump and talk about what's gonna happen today.

That;s a Lifeline.

For some of us it's family.

A lot of us look up to or parents,

They’re the first lifelines you have.

And the ones who stay the longest.

You know, it’s…

Lifelines are different with parents.

They're different for everyone because they’re unique.

I can’t speak for everyone but my parents are definitely my lifelines.

Being a son, you see your mother…

She’s the first woman you respect.

The first woman you love.

She’s the first woman you want to protect and care for.

She looks after you after all.

First day of school, she’s stood there telling you how great you’ll be.

You get to your final year of secondary, going to college.

She looks at you and thinks “Where’d that kid go?”

All your life she’s there for you.

And you know that when she hits 60 or 70,

You know damn well you’re not just gonna let her waste away,

In some cheap retirement home.

Because she’s your lifeline.

And it's easy to forget that you’re her lifeline.

As we get older and they get older,

They become less our lifelines and we become theirs.

It's the same for our dads.

Speaking as a son, your dad is your firmest lifeline.

He doesn’t say anything on the first day of school.

He just nods with a smile.

Gives you a pat on the head and you know it’ll be okay.

He teaches you how to ride your bike.

And mum is there to pick you up when you fall,

Dad is there to tell you why you fell.

And, more importantly, why you get back up again.

You go through life and, do things like your first date.

Who is the last one you see when you walk out the door?

Dad. With a smile.

Your dad, he’s been your crutch your whole life.

It's only fair you become his.

That’s a Lifeline.

But what’s one of the biggest lifelines of them all?

Love.

Love is a lifeline.

The first time you experience that lifeline, is by far the most magical.

Because you don't see it at first,

But you know it's there.

She doesn’t see it at first but she knows its there.

And it all starts with one look.

Becauses with family, the lifeline is already there,

With friends it starts small and builds to a lifeline.

With love it's there.

One look.

One look and you know.

All it takes is one glance across a hallway and,

The world stops revolving.

Time stops moving.

One glance across a hallway,

One side look across the coffee shop.

One slight second of a look up and away from your wallet,

And to the girl on the other side of the counter.

Hits you like a hurricane.

You feel, tender.

Vulnerable.

You look at her and see everything that's right with the world,

Just one look directly in her eyes and you see it all.

And the best and worst part of this lifeline is that you don't know.

You know perfectly well what you see when you look at her,

But you don't know what she sees.

You don't know what she's thinking.

She could be thinking the same, she could be thinking the exact opposite.

She could be thinking something in between.

You don’t know.

Until you take that leap.

Because when you try to search for love as a lifeline it's a leap off a cliff.

And there's only two outcomes.

Either you fall and plummet, or you grow wings and fly.

And sometimes the landing can be softened by another.

So it's not all death and despair on the way down.

That is a Lifeline.

And the biggest question….

The biggest question we have to ask ourselves is,

Have you ever been anyone’s lifeline?

I think I have.

I sometimes think we all have lifelines, attached to us.

When someone chooses you as a lifeline it's difficult to see.

In nearly all ways.

Because when someone chooses you as a lifeline, they throw a rope.

But that rope is silent.

There’s no sounds that hit the floor,

There’s no whistling through the wind as it makes its way toward you.

Its silence.

And it hits your foot.

It doesn’t tie a magical knot around you,

It doesn’t give you a tap on the foot and make a big noise.

It just slightly hits your toe.

Like a flick,

As if you were swatting away a small fly.

You barely feel it.

And that's the problem with lifelines.

You have to feel it,

You have to.

Because some people need those lifelines.

They throw the rope and hold on like their life depends on it and sometimes it does.

What do you think of yourself when, they throw the rope but you don’t hear it?

And you don’t feel it?

They keep throwing it and throwing it and hoping,

Time and time again, over and over that you’ll hear it.

That they’ll make a sound.

That lifeline is the only thing they have,

The only hope they have.

What do you think when you don't hear it or feel it?

What would you do?

And what do you do when they let go?

What do you do when someone throws you a lifeline and, you ignore it?

What do you do when you notice it but think its nothing?

What do you do?

Is it your fault?

Is it theirs?

Is it someone else?

Sometimes, it's too late to do anything.

Sometimes, people will throw the lifeline and,

Maybe we didn't listen hard enough.

Maybe we didn't try to feel it,

Maybe we didn't look around hard enough to see it.

What if it was someone else?

What if someone else saw it and didn't tell us?

What if someone saw a friend or a loved one,

Throwing a lifeline to you and they didn't tell you?

Is it their fault?

Maybe they were too scared.

Maybe they didn't want to burden you with such a responsibility.

Maybe they didn't want to presume this person's feelings.

Or maybe they just didn't feel strong enough to do that.

To just say “Hey, look. The ropes right there. Grab it. Help them”.

Because we can't expect the people who throw the lifelines to tell us.

It's not that simple.

There's nothing simple about holding on to someone.

And feeling like they’re the only thing in the world that matters,

And then constantly wondering if they feel the same way.

Feeling like in a n abyss of darkness, there’s only one small light at the end of your rope.

But constantly worrying if that light will go out before you get to it.

There's nothing simple about it.

So hold on.

When you get even the smallest sign that someone threw you a lifeline,

Grab it and hold on tight.

As if you were one man pulling the titanic from the depths of the ocean,

Pull as hard as you can.

And dont let it break, dont dare let the rope snap and leave tha person to drown.

Because when all is said and done.

You cant remake that lifeline,

And no matter what the reason, whether you didn't notice it,

Whether you turned a blind eye,

Wether someone else didnt take action

You can’t get that person back at the end of the rope.

Just like no one could get you back if you let go.

Author's Note

Please point out any spelling mistakes I've made. I get lost in writing a lot and miss out some errors.