Ghosts in the sand

A poem about our fallen men and in the eyes of the "enemy"

Bullets fly by
Jet plane's soaring through out the sky
An explosion overhead illuminated the air around
The ground shook as I hit the dirt and grim with a pound

Never before driven by aggression
Just thinking that this will just be another therapy session
Up and back on my feet I take fire
Although harming someone is no desire

Flashes of smoke and metal flare out of my barrel
The bullets pepper dirt,rock,steal even loose apparel
With a loud pop one bullet struck flesh and bone,blood
A trickle of a crimson dark liquid began to flood

As I take a look through my scope,angered,nervous, and high
A bullet rips through air, striking my chest will I die
As I fall and dream of greater strives
Thoughts fill my mind, if only I had more lives

Will I get my promise, my wish, my prayer
Or just go down as a Canadian slayer
The area surrounding on fire and beginning to roast
No I will not be remembered and become another ghost



 

Author's Note

first poem,ignore any grammar please

Reviews

[Nirego]

Grammar can easily become inconsequential under poetic license and there are only very minor errors here - none of which detract, distract, or confuse i.e. the meaning is evident.

You've done a very good job of describing the emotions and sensations that this soldier is feeling; the way you've set the scene is also very good, lending itself to vivid imagery in the mind. If this is your first poem I can only urge you to keep going.


I have only one more thing to add in response to the final line:

At the going down of the sun
and in the morning
we will remember them.

[Josh Heighton]

Its been a while since I have wrote anything. I guess I needed comments like this to get me back into the game. Thank you