Mansfield Diary (continued)

This is a continuation of, "Mansfield-'A Dear Diary Page"

Day 3

Once again, Dear Diary, I wish to record a few memorable and rather embarrassing days in my life.

They began one morning, a few days ago, quite out of the ordinary. I was awakened at the ungodly

hour of 11:00 am in the morning by the strangest sound. It sounded like Mr. Anthony in his study, so I

decided to force myself to rise at this dreadful hour to see what the matter could be.

The truth is, that I was incredibly curious as to what that sound was. We cats are bad about that, we are

notoriously curious. I suppose it is our fatal flaw, so to speak. Ack! That reminds me of that terrible

saying that humans have, “curiosity killed the cat”. I know you will agree with me Dear Diary, that this

is a horrible and barbaric saying, invented by dog lovers to destroy our proud and noble reputation.

Anyway, when I entered Mr. Anthony's office, I found him sitting alone at his desk and he seemed to be

speaking to himself. I sauntered over and with one graceful spring, I was sitting on his desk. I asked

Mr. Anthony what the noise was about and he informed me that he was practicing Russian. Russian?

Whatever on earth for? Of all languages, why Russian? I myself have only just learned the King's

English and see no need to learn any other languages, Thank you, very much!

I really should have seen it coming though, Dear Diary. Last month it was French and the month before

that it was German. However, my friend Mr. Anthony does not merely content himself with learning a

new language. No, Dear Diary, he must also learn the history of that language's country of origin.

Whenever this occurs one will find him sprouting random and obscure facts as he carries out his

research.

I, being a cat and therefore the most intelligent of creatures on earth, quickly learn and retain

information. As a result, I find that, quite unwillingly, I absorb these facts right away and am then stuck

with them. Ah... I must, however, confess to you Dear Diary, that at times these facts become somewhat

muddled in my mind, owing of course to their complete and total lack of relevance to my life, mind

you.

Also, from time to time it occurs that these random names and places affect my speech from time to

time, this must be, due to the fact that my superior intellect is working overtime to process and store

this information in a thorough and meaningful manner. This has brought about some rather... er,

embarrassing misspeaks on my part.

I reveal them to you in the strictest confidence for should they become public knowledge, I fear that my

reputation would be ruined.

Once while Mr. Anthony was studying German I told some cats that they should be 'kinder' to each

other, for you see 'kinder' is the German word for children. Oh, the shame! Another time, while Mr.

Anthony was studying French, I made the mistake of telling a dog that 'chats rule!'. 'Chats', of course, is

the French word for 'cats'. I made quite the fool of myself.

I believe, however, that my greatest embarrassments came today while I was speaking to the horses. I

was out in the barn with Adelaide and she was chasing a particularly difficult rat which ran under a

large hay bale and eager to be helpful I called a horse over to aid us in moving it.

Quite forgetting myself in the excitement I shouted to the horse … I shouted..., I can barely bring

myself to tell you Dear Diary, but I must. Caught up in the thrill of watching the chase I turned to a

horse and shouted “Trotsky, over hear and Lenin us a paw... a hoof... whatever!”, by now quite

flustered I made matters worse by adding “Quit Stalin and get over here you... you...”, quite taken

aback by all the laughter and coming to the realization of what had just come out of my mouth I was

utterly shocked.

Me Mansfield III of Mansfield Estates, making such mistakes, as though I were some common animal

and not a fine feline of noble stock. I spent the rest of the day in somewhat of a daze, mostly hidden

under my bed out of shame. I would confess all of these facts to no one else Dear Diary, nay, not even

to my dear Adelaide. I should never be able to look her in the face again if she were to come to find out

about all of these embarrassing misspeaks.

I must have a word with Mr. Anthony about this, perhaps he can give me

some advice. He is, after all, very intelligent for a human and it is, after all, his fault that these things

happen to me. I mean, I couldn't possibly be to blame for anything. Could I?

Day 4

Once again, Dear Diary, I wish to tell you about a momentous day in the life of Mansfield III of

Mansfield estates. However, enough embarrassing mishaps, enough writing about my shortcomings,

today I wish to tell you a tale of a hero so bold as to stagger the imagination.

By which of course, I mean myself, Dear Diary. Today I wish to tell you of the time I single-handedly

or rather single-pawededly stopped a robbery. However, I concede that Mr. Anthony, the butler, and the

dogs did help somewhat in the capture and the detainment of the burglar.

(Single-pawededly? I do believe I just made that up now. I shall have to contact Mr. Webster.)

Anyway, how shall I begin this story? Time and place? Introduce the hero? Never mind that last one,

Dear Diary, it would be fruitless, as you already know that I am always the hero. Aha! I have it! I

believe that I shall begin at the beginning, for that seems the perfect place to begin any narrative,

whatever the occasion.

Our story begins with me, for I am the perfect beginning to any story, don't you agree?

It was about 11 o'clock at night and I was on the prowl. I never go to sleep before 1 o'clock in the

morning. Therefore, I repeat, it was about 11 o'clock and I was taking my nightly turn of the property

and all was well with the world, that is until I ran into the biggest, meanest, cat-eating, man-eating dog

you ever saw! I knew everyone was in terrible danger and knew I would have to engage in vicious, lifethreatening,

mortal combat with this terrible beast! I quickly sized up the situation and...?

(What's that Adelaide? Oh, very well! I suppose I'm not telling campfire stories. I beg your pardon?

Stick to the facts? I was heroic enough without making up extra details? Fine! If you insist!)

I suppose I should tell you that Adelaide has taken to reading over my shoulder as I write. How you

may ask? Well, you see, I made the mistake of teaching her how to read. It seemed like a good idea at

the time. You know, showing off my intelligence for my fair lady would be a good idea, correct?

Incorrect!

She is now my self-appointed editor. That is when she's not chasing mice in the barn. Which the groom

is keeping her to do.

(Isn't that right, Adelaide? OUCH! You know I hate it when you bite my ear! Now, the groom is

expecting you, is he not? Adieu, my dear. Parting is such sweet sorrow!)

Finally, she has gone, Dear Diary! My Adelaide is very sweet but she is a pain to have around when I

am writing, I assure you!

Now, where were we? Ah yes! The burglary at Mansfield Estates. As you know I was making my

rounds of the estates, when I noticed a mysterious character slinking along the hedge in a most sneaky

manner. Wondering who this stranger could be I decided to follow him. At first, I thought that maybe it

was one of the gardeners who had forgotten his tools and was attempting to

retrieve them without disturbing anyone of the household. Further investigation revealed that this was

not the case.

When I made this disturbing discovery, I was tempted to run away and fetch the guard dogs Scott and

Sophie. Dealing with burglers definitely fell within in their job description.

Then I stopped myself, why should the dogs get all the glory? I came to the conclusion that I would

stop this burglar all on my own.

I crouched low and crept along in the shadows, following his every move. He sneaked along until he

reached a downstairs window. Whereupon, he took from his bag a tool and opened the window. I will

confess that about now, I was feeling nervous and was hoping for the arrival of the dogs. I pushed these

feelings down and steeled myself for what I was about to do.

As he climbed through the window, I crept in behind him, without making a sound. As I hid under the

piano I watched the burglar begin to remove paintings from the wall, I assumed he was looking for a

safe. Ha! The poor fool! Burglers are so predictable. He would never find the safe behind one of the

paintings. Of course, I knew where the safe was. I do, after all, have Mr. Anthony's full confidence.

Once again, I was beginning to lose my nerve when what I saw next filled me with such a furious

resolve that I was determined that this petty sneak thief should not go unpunished. What I saw Dear

Diary was the bandit remove a very expensive oil painting of myself with Mr. and Mrs. Mansfield and

then just cast it aside as if it were some cheap sketch. Such gross disrespect!

I am aware Dear Diary, that I have a tendency to put down humans in favour of cats, and I am by no

means changing my position, mind you! However, if there is one thing I cannot stand, it is insults to

Mr. Anthony and his wife.

I have a great deal of respect and yes, I will admit it, affection, for the two of them and no one, but no

one disrespects them in any way and goes unpunished. As I crouched in the spring position and flexed

my claws in anticipation of the richly deserved punishment I was about to meet out, I remembered a

few sayings by my old Uncle Toby.

One such saying was, “There is nothing in the world, more dangerous than a cat and his claws”,

another of my favorites is “These are my claws, there are many like them but these ones are mine”.

Armed with these maxims, I leaped into battle! You should have seen me Dear Diary! I was here! I was

there! I was clawing my way up his trouser leg! Never Dear Diary, will I

forget the look on that crook's face. Never was there a more surprised looking crook in all the history of

skullduggery! I was a whirlwind! I don't believe there was an inch of bare skin that my claws didn't

find and the noise Dear Diary, it was deafening!

My hissing, snarling, and yowling, combined with the burglar's bellowing. Of course, the sounds of our

furious battle brought reinforcements in the form of Scott and Sophie sailing through the open window

and rushing to my aid. Their arrival, assured victory for our noble cause!

You should have heard that thief wailing and begging for mercy Dear Diary, it was a sight to behold!

Eventually, Mr. Anthony arrived with the butler armed as they were with cricket bat and candelabra.

Soon the bandit was restrained with ropes, the constable was sent for and I was the recipient of many

caresses and congratulations. It was my proudest moment, Dear Diary!

I will admit to you, however, that I was most grateful for the timely arrival of my two good friends

Scott and Sophie, without whose help I would have most assuredly been overthrown by my terrible

foe.

That, Dear Diary, is the heroic tale of the time I thwarted a burglary.

(What's that Adelaide? You need my help to catch a rat? What? You mean you've rooted out Frenchie?

I'll be right there, my dear! Try not to lose him!)

I must be going now, Dear Diary. You see, 'Frenchie' is a particularly large and cheeky rat, who has

been wreaking havoc in our feed shed. It seems he is the patriarch of all of those pestilent rodents. He is

constantly leading his pack on these devastating raids that nearly drive poor Adelaide out of her mind.

Also, it seems that she doesn't think any less of me when I join her in the chase but rather she seems to

appreciate it (who could have possibly imagined it?) .

So, until next time, Dear Diary, I bid you a good evening. I am off to assist Adelaide in

lowering the boom on Frenchie once and for all!

(I'm coming! I'm coming! Calm down, Adelaide! I'll be there in a moment! What!? What do you mean

you shall be leading the chase, this time? What's wrong when I direct the proceedings? I beg your

pardon!? Indeed? Oh, we shall see about that!)

Author's Note

Hi guys,
This is everything I have written for Mansfield up until point. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think. Any feedback would be appreciated.
Thanks