Should've stayed asleep

There's always tomorrow

Should've stayed asleep

Sometimes it's hard to find structure

In the unrelenting chaos of life.

You've got to surface for air,

But these moments are rare,

A brief bit of respite would be nice. 

Often it's hard to find reason

In this frantic yet mundane routine.

But you vehemently deny,

To just lay down and die,

As surely the better times have yet to be seen?

Lately you've succumbed to the pressure

Comforts breached and mind overwrought.

Tired and obsolete,

Just commit to defeat, 

Or recede to the dark of your thoughts.

No-one ever said this was easy

Or suggested the hurdles of life were not steep.

But do not despair, 

If you're not already there, 

You probably should just stay asleep.  

 

Reviews

[M. Stein]

Often it's hard to find reason

In this frantic yet mundane routine.

A brilliant ode to the regular and habitual routine of life. I think sometimes everyone wakes with this questioning of 'when does it get better?' I love the word choice as well, very relatable. I empathize with you my friend. A good, solid piece. xx.

[MsJewel]

Beautiful rhyme and flow to this well written poem/lyrics. I would love to hear this set to music. Brilliant writing and a delight to read.

:) Julie

[Frieda P]

I'm telling myself that exact same thing at the moment as it's only 4:30 AM here, too much time to contemplate getting it right, muchly enjoyed your musings here!

[KAOlmsted]

Very good. Lyrical, in fact. I started out writing lyrics (a hundred years or so ago *laugh*) and I always revert back to that structural discipline in my poetry...even my "free-verse" has structure...you can take the girl out of the meter but you can't take the meter out of the girl...that sounds vaguely dirty, so I'll stop right there ;-) Very good, pet. Pleased to make your acquaintance.

-kimmer

[Joe Palmer]

I agree, think it's because I more familiar with composing songs for the band I'm in, hence an element of that naturally seeps into my poetry. Ha, I get what you mean, such sexual words! Anyway, thank's a lot for your review!

[KAOlmsted]

My absolute pleasure ;-)

[Sasha]

But do not despair,
If you're not already there,
You probably should just stay asleep.

Amazing !

[Ink Angel]

Its a great escape back under the duvet. But theres fight in this poem.....I guess we go there to recharge and come back fighting. Sometimes easier to stay asleep! I agree with Trimarco, my daughter is mad about Frank Turner she saw him at Reading. This is similar however you have you own style. Great write.

[TrimarcoRansome]

Brilliant, I know the feeling well! This reminded me of Frank Turner lyrics, they are the sort of words I'd expect to her from his tracks. By the way, once you are like this you remain that way throughout your life!! Good flow and use of words here, well done!

[Joe Palmer]

Thank you very much! I'll take a Frank Turner comparison as compliment, I love a bit of Frank. Yeah, don't worry, I'm trying to remain the eternal optimist! Thanks again

[Dye]

I feel like this most days LOL. Tomorrow is indeed a new day. :)
I really like the way you have your rhymes laid out in the stanzas.

[Joe Palmer]

Thank you Dye. Have to admit, I found myself chuckling reading your 'about me' section. Never before have I seen the topics of oral sex and feline homicide combined in such an intriguing manner!

[Dye]

Ha ha ha, well....welcome to my world :)

[kris reed]

Nice poem, really like the rhyming pattern and tempo as I read.

[Pryde Foltz]

Not!!!! I kid. A nice piece, some lovely flow.

Tired and obsolete,
Just commit to defeat

the anti-pep talk.

[Coyote Poetry]

I know the feeling of this poem. I had many days I would of been better off sleeping all day. Some days I like to do over also. I enjoyed the thoughts and the reason for the excellent poem.
Coyote