My Testing Year

A poem I wrote back in summer 2014

This year has seen me full of emotion

Happenings and disappointments awaited before my eyes

Sadness occured without my knowledge

Finding myself in grief of a dear old lady

Someone who cared for me and passed me wisdom

My dear grandmother, from Poland she hailed

Survived the War to gift me joy

My mourning period followed with more bad news

A crush who told me that she was asexual

Then falls for one of my friends

My circle of friends is filled with awkwardness

I was presented with a great opportunity

To do a practical dissertation

As opposed to writing ten thousand words

I was declined this opportunity

Despite putting my heart into the proposal

Efforts were left underappreciated

The same with a job application

No matter how good my skills were

I was seen as incompetant and not the right person

I am never the right person

I'm always something not right

I'm always messed around with

Just like when I went apartment hunting

And I've been duped over by landlords and flatmates

Who tell me that someone's got it before me

Before I was given a chance

And then told I'm not the right person

And rejected from accommodation

I thought I had the highlight of my year

When I met a girl in my area

She wore a dress so beautiful

One that skips many heartbeats

We talked until closing time

I was a perfect gentleman

We connected

Or so I thought

When she didn't even want to speak to me

I wasn't worth a call or a text message

Or any form of contact

Just left in the dark, in the unknown

I ask a mighty diety, should it exist

Why me?

Why do I deserve this?

I'm a good person

I always try to be nice

Do things for others

2014 has been a challenge

Only four months remain

I do not ask for much

I just want a good four months

Until the new year beckons

I will do anything for a good four months

Please