University

What university has been for me

It’s cigarettes rolled up with bible pages,

smoked outside bike racks,

with the playlist jumping from Dylan

to Dre over conversations

forgotten the next day.

 

It’s been wandering out into black New Year

and rapping with crackheads,

in alleyways outside Kebab Kid

then walking down to the petrol station

2 miles away cos they’re the only

ones selling booze late.

 

It’s my first blowjob, drunk

on Valentine’s day�"

   ‘Are you serious?’

I still remember saying,

to the girl I fucked

everything up with.

 

It’s being high on mandy,

dressed as Freddie Mercury

in a gay bar knowing

that your friends think

you’re trying too hard.

 

It’s all the messages:

‘Yeah I’m outside now’

‘M8 where are you?’

‘Where is he?’

‘You’re a c**t

‘Are you ok?’

 

It’s all the teachers that

wished they were researchers,

sharing sideways PDF’s

with half the words cut off,

 on Moodle,

two days before a deadline.

 

It’s a tired room,

where no one’s prepared,

but the lecturer just keeps

smiling as she talks

about the book she’s

studied for 20 years.

 

It’s £9000 a year.

 

It’s eating pasta.

It’s the messages left in pizza boxes.

It’s pit stains in nightclubs.

It’s so many group chats.

 

It’s not a place to realise your dreams,

it’s a place to delay them.

 

It’s opening doors in your future

but ignoring the opportunities in the present.

 

It’s the best friends I’ve ever had

It’s the degree I sleep under every night.

 

It’s  2:1 in English and Education Studies

Author's Note

The picture's the outside of my uni.

Reviews

[cocktail of blues]

It's a beautiful mess. I miss it.