Deprived (Experiment)

So this is an experiment I did where I stayed awake for 30 hours then just tried to type consecutively for as long as I could without any breaks, this is the result of that mistake

So my heads blurry

seems like a good place

to start on what is sure

 to be a real shitshow of

a poem

 

Cos I mean this is already going downhill

like I have to keep typing

if I stop I have to

start again and I’ve already

done this like 3 times

already and it’s

not even fun anymore

 I swear for a while

I was hallucinating from the whole

no sleep thing.

 

It started off with just blurry s**t in the

corner of my eyes but know I;m full on

seeing everything like it’s a wide

angle lens shot from a Danny Devito

film, like a Matilda or something

it’s all right up in my fce and it’s

getting even worse cos of how quick

I’m having to type these thoughts as

they come to me and I’m

only half remembering

to throw in all the

line breaks so they’re gonna be all

over the place

 

Plus I keep hitting semi-colon

instead of the apostrophe

and it’s triggering the shi out of me

but I can’t stop or anything

and I don’t feel like editing it

 

Jesus this is harder than expected

I’m starting to think I’m not as interesting as

I thought I was like

I thought I’d be able to immediately

delve into an actual topic

but its been surprisingly hard to get off

the whole topic of the act of writing

this poem in the first place

like I have no stories to tell

or crazy things I did

spare from jumping in a bush that

was pretty rad

and at the very least soe other poepole

liked it so I felt validated for a bit

which is something I’ve been worried about lately

cos I’ve been checking my Facebook way too much

lately I’m always wanting just to see another

like on the most random s**t

and it’s like people I haven’t talked to in years

but I still feel good when they show the

passing glance of affection

 

So I’m thinking actually not sure

hat to think about it s**t

this was a jarring transition

like what do you want though

I’m thinking this s**t up quick

well probs shouldn’t get defensive gainst the

reader it’s not your fault your roped into this

 

Although this whole thing has made me wonder

if I should start caring about

more realistic things like my job

and future and s**t cos

I had the idea to do this around 15 hours ago

and in that 15 hours I did nothing cos I was antcipiating

having to write this

so I don’t really know what that says about me

as an adult but I think I’m trying

to avoid responisbitliy pretty hard,

and goddanmit these words are getting tricky to spell

 

and literally as I’m typing there a pop up covering the bottom of the screen

like a kind of tool bar thing

so I can’t even see what I’m trying

oo type which may be better cos it won’t

annoy me as much but

sorry if the writing get s even more illegible

it’s not my fault

blame google

always blame google

 

whenever you can just blame someone else

its easier yyour less likely to get caught

and you avoid the burdern of responsibility

okay this is all fake advice

or is it

oh great now I’m doing a bit in my head

where my conscious is actually Danny Devito

and he’s filming my own thoughts

in a wide angle lens kind of

like that one spongebob episode

 

and oh jesus I’m actuallythiking about the things

I’m writing and understnaidng

how insane this is is this what

crazy people to hel pout ith their

emotions cos this is helping me in a weird way

maybe I need to talk to more people

 

but its just half the time when I do

they wanna talk about s**t I don’t get or

want to really get into

also I just delted a letter I’m sorry I thought I

should be honest

anyway back to the other tihing

like lately I went to a cocktail thing

and I found a few things to talk about

but I spent most of it just nodding at

people and trying not to look weird

I was pretty hungover but I

think there’s a greater proble at play there

but hey maybe I just need to adjust to

this approach of dealing with s**t

 

and once again that sentence makes no sense t

this is requiring so much of my focus

that is becoming less of the

creativity treasure trove I

thought it would be

 

okay let’s try some s**t

uhhh alright let’s describe

a club at night

so you go go for something

like a neon theatre

and the dancers could be writihing actors

okay I’ve lready had thi idea before though

so it’s not natural to the creative process

and not fully representative of a genuine idea

from an agitated mental state and the added

stress of having to keep typing consecutinely

 

GOD THIS IS GETTING ME NO WHERE

LET’S GO FOR CAPS FOR A BIT I FEEL LIKE GETTING

MY VENT ON MAYBE MOAN ABOUT SOMETHING

LIKE THOSE KIDS AT

BUST STOPS WHO PLAY MUSIC THORUGH BIG A*S

HEADPHONES

JUST TO PISS ME OFF

THEY PROBABLY WEAR VAN SHOES AND OBEY HATS

OR WHATEVER AND LIKE I’M ALREADY ON PUBLIC

TRANSPORT AND I’M AN ADULTf

MY LIFE’S ALREADY S****Y

YOU DON’T HAVE TO MAKE IT WORSE

 

other than that I haven’t

got a whole lot to rant about

so I’m thinking maybe

we bring this to a close

no one’s actually read

this far anyway

alright

bye and whatever

Author's Note

I didn't go back to fix the spelling errors as they show the peaks and valleys of how lucid I was when writing, this is kind of a weird experimental thing, that I probably won't do again cos of how tired it made me and I appreciate it may not be most people's thing but it's surprisingly therapeutic.