The Nature of Forgiveness

The first essay in this particular collection of essays that look at the nature of various things that deal with the soul.

Forgiveness. According to dictionary.com, it is the thought of or action of being forgiven; merriam-webster.com says that the definition of “forgive” means to stop feeling anger, to stop blaming, to stop requiring payment. To forgive someone is not easily done, however. In church, we are told to forgive so that we may be forgiven and also that forgiveness is for us, not them. We are never told that is a daily act, a daily giving over of something that has hurt us, angered us, and has possibly affected our lives. We are never told that it is not something easily done, but it is presented in such a way that it sounds so easy! And, it’s not. The idea of forgiveness, as the idea of love, faith, miracles, and hope, is so lovely and beautiful, but too many feel that it is unattainable or not doable.

    Here’s the thing. Forgiveness is something you have to do. Every single day. It is something that you have to practice every single day, something you have to make a conscious decision to do every single day. Forgiveness is a prayer of sorts- whether it be to God, Jesus Christ, or to the Flying Spaghetti Monster- it is a verb, an action, not just something that is discussed. It is something you actively do, something that you tell yourself, at the very least. Even if the person doesn’t say they are sorry or ask for it, even if it is something that angers them that you tell them or think because they feel they did nothing wrong.

    You’re probably wondering why you should forgive. Why should you forgive someone? Isn’t that up to God to do? Or maybe you think that you don’t believe in the holy or spiritual, or you just see no need for any hurt that is done to you. I’m not going to tell you that you should forgive so that you can be forgiven, so that you can move on- but so that it will open up your life and your spirit, so it can ease your hurt a bit, and so it can help you learn the lesson that was taught and accept it, so that the experience is not wasted.

    Also, don’t EVER let someone tell you that it is not okay to be angry or frustrated when someone has hurt you. It is perfectly natural and it is okay. But what is unhealthy and what can hurt you in the end, is hanging on to that anger and letting it poison you and your life. Time and forgiveness can ease the anger and the bitterness, regardless of belief system, and that is what it is for. You will be angry on some days, and other days you will not be. In fact, I first posted this on Facebook, and a friend of mine had this to say; "Forgiveness is a simple choice I think. You simply choose to forgive. Just because you still have lingering emotional turmoil, doesn't mean you haven't forgiven. It just means that you are still struggling with the damage of the act you have forgiven. The practice comes in letting go, in accepting and embracing that pain and releasing it into the world, harnessed as energy toward something good. That takes sooooo much practice!” He captured what I was trying to say about anger exactly and he is right. The emotional turmoil is okay! But you still have to make a conscious decision to forgive and it is still a daily giving over within yourself.

    The nature of forgiveness is the nature of our spiritual side, of our soul. Forgiveness is not easy and the nature of it is a practice you do every day. And it is okay to be angry, and it is okay to hurt. The nature of forgiveness also recognizes that and accepts it.

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[charlie]

True forgiveness happens even before a transgression occurs.