Heartbroken

Todd is hearing some weird voices in his head. But are they actually going to do anything horrible?

It is a regular Summer day for Todd. He was doing his regular morning routine, which consisted of showering, brushing his teeth, getting his clothes on, and applying deodorant. He was trying to get out of the house at 6:30 AM this morning because his girlfriend wanted to go on a hike with him, and their destination was a few hours away from their current location, so they had to start driving very early if they wanted to have time to hike.

Todd told his girlfriend, Alissa, that he had been hearing weird voices inside of his head recently. The voices told him to do horrible things to the people he loved, and it was driving him crazy. He claimed that the voices told him to kill Alissa, his mother, and to torture his friends. They told him that he could trust nobody and that everybody would soon turn on him.

Todd simply ignored these voices, as nothing actually happened to him after the voices told him that they would. Todd said the most recent voice inside of his head said that Alissa would die today at 7:00 AM.

Todd finished his routine and stepped out of his house, staring at the beautiful sunrise that he always came out in the morning to see. His girlfriend was out in the parking lot with her Chevy and was smiling at him as he walked down the few steps of his porch and into the car.

“Hey, honey! How are you?” Alissa asked Todd.

Todd was honestly feeling horrible, especially because of the voices that were echoing inside of his head, especially the one threatening his pride and joy, Alissa. But that was too negative for his upbeat Alissa, so he just said: “I’m fine.”

Alissa smiled and started driving. Todd looked at the clock on Alissa’s car. It read ‘6:35’. It was no big deal, but Todd was a perfectionist, he never wanted to be late or early to anything. Alissa said it was alright, but Todd was still stressed out about it. He turned on his phone and started to play a game on it to get rid of the stress.

After nearly twenty minutes of driving, Todd finally looked up from his phone and told Alissa that he was hungry. She smiled, and happily went through the McDonald’s drive-thru, which was empty at the time, and happened to be Todd’s favorite fast-food place. She ordered some pancakes, paid for them herself, and then handed them to Todd as she pulled over into a parking spot so Todd could eat.

Todd thanked her, kissed her, and dug into his delicious pancakes. Alissa smiled at him and looked away. Her smile turned to a horrified look. Her eyes widened. She screamed in horror.

“Oh my god!”

A very loud gunshot was fired, and everything seemed to go silent. Todd was eating his pancakes at the time, and suddenly shot up when he heard the noise.

“What was that?” he asked.

No reply. This was weird because Alissa always replied to Todd. Maybe she was just traumatized, Todd thought. Todd looked over at Alissa and nudged her. She wouldn’t move. Todd put down his pancakes and got out of the car, going around to Alissa’s side. He opened the door.

A large hole was planted in her chest, most likely from the bullet that was fired from the gunshot. Todd’s beautiful girlfriend, Alissa, was dead. She was everything to him. And now she was gone. Todd went into immediate rage and depression. He could not believe it. He was screaming, crying, and going completely insane.

He knew he couldn’t just stay crying forever, nor could he attract more attention, because if police found him, they would believe that he murdered Alissa, and Todd would have to spend the rest of his life in a jail cell. His life was already ruined, and he felt like ending it once and for all. He looked into Alissa’s beautiful green, lifeless eyes, and whispered ‘I love you’ into her ear.

He wanted to find the murderer and destroy his life. He just could not believe that this had happened to the person he cared about most. Alissa loved him. He loved Alissa. They planned to travel around the world together, and that had now come to an end. He had to calm down to not attract any more attention, though inside he was dying.

He looked at the clock, and it was exactly 7:00 AM. The voices were right. Was this a coincidence? Or were the voices telling the truth?

Todd didn’t know what to do. He moved Alissa to the backseat and started driving. If the police saw him, they would think that he murdered her! He told himself that he needed to get home as quick as possible, so he could comprehend what just happened. He started the car, put it in ‘drive’, and started driving towards his home.

During the 20-minute drive, he saw one police car. He easily passed by it and was very relieved. But Alissa had many friends. They knew she was going with Todd today, but she was supposed to meet a few of her friends tomorrow. They would think that Todd murdered her. Todd didn’t even know who the real murderer was, so he had no evidence that it wasn’t him who murdered her.

Todd returned to his house, but it didn’t look so normal. It was painted a new red color. It was the right house, as the house number was the same as always. He got out of his car. One of his neighbors were sitting on a rocking chair on their porch, staring at Todd creepily. Todd took his keys and unlocked the door to his house.

When he went inside, his house looked completely normal. Everything was in the same place as it was before when he left the house. He looked to the left, it was normal. He looked up, the ceiling looked normal. He looked to the right, it was norm- no. There was a painting on the wall that was not there before.

It was a painting of Todd standing, staring forward. The background of the painting was his house that he was standing in. And in the background, there was a mysterious figure in all black standing behind him. Todd turned around. And standing there was a figure in all black, standing behind him, looking ready to attack at any moment.

Todd screamed. He ran out to Alissa’s car and reversed out of the driveway, then turned out of it and switched it to ‘drive’. He was driving extremely fast, near 65 miles per hour, though the speed limit was just 15 miles per hour. He didn’t care. That’s when the voices started talking to him again. They told him that if he did not drive off of the road, he would die.

Todd screamed a curse word into the air, hoping the voices inside of his head would hear it. As he finally approached onto a highway, a large semi-truck was coming straight at Todd’s car… from ahead. It was driving towards his car in the wrong lane, and Todd needed to avoid it. He swerved right, a little too much, and this caused him to drive Alissa’s car off of the road and into a huge forest, full of trees and streams of water.

Alissa’s car was turned upside down when it finally landed in the forest. The voices were right, once again. Todd did not understand why they were ruining his life like this. Did they have a grudge against him or something?

Todd decided to not get lost in his thoughts. The window was cracked, so he climbed through it. Alissa’s car was completely destroyed, and Alissa’s lifeless body was covered in blood. Todd thought he saw a bone punctured out of her leg, but he decided to not check that out.

The forest was about thirty feet below the highway Todd was originally driving on. He saw a small college on the other side of the forest right before he had to drive off of the highway, so he decided that he had to go through it if he wanted to find shelter, as there would be a thunderstorm by night.

But at that moment, he saw a man, who looked like a soldier, peek out from behind the trees. He looked behind him to make sure he wasn’t surrounded. He wasn’t. But something was different here. Alissa’s body was no longer in the car.

Author's Note

How creepy is this?

Reviews

[Srchaud]

I like the voices telling the MC his girlfreind would die at 7 and then she did. it makes be think there is more to the voices then Just Todds imagination.
I also like how his girlfriend at the end vanishes.
with each story you write I can see improvement.

[Miles W.]

A very interesting start. Dives right into the action. The one downside is that as a reader I don't feel like I get a chance to breathe and know these characters. It talks about the voices and the morning routine, then jumps headlong into the action in a heartbeat. I'm assuming this is going to be a piece of a longer work, so there is room for improvement and time. Perhaps slow down the pacing instead of having the entire story be dialed up to 11. A good start nonetheless. Well done!

[Zoya]

Hmm..interesting concept. I feel that you're kinda rushing with the telling of the story. That makes it lose its originality. Also, try adding some emotions and make the reader live your story. I like the idea though. Keep going with it. Wonders do happen!
Keep writing!

[JordanStories]

Oh no! It's going too fast? :(

[Zoya]

Yeah, for me it is. It could surely be fixed though.