One Down, Eleven To Go

One immediate death? There are now only eleven members left, leaving everybody horrified of what will happen to them too.

The door creaked open. Inside, it looked like a normal home, but surely very old. There were chandeliers, lanterns, all of those old things, and the house did not look dirty or rusty at all. It looked very new. No candles were lit, but a chandelier was left on, giving a slim flicker of light. The group could only see into the first room of the house, located right next to the doorway, filled with nothing but a ripped couch.

The group went into that room, with Patrick being the last. He did not close the door, as he may have needed to run out of it in case of an emergency. But he didn’t need to close the door. It closed itself.

The group heard a huge slam. The door was shut, and it locked itself with quite a large noise. Darkness filled the room, as the chandelier turned itself off as well. Everyone shivered in fear. Well, everyone except Jackson. He simply said that he expected that, since it is a haunted house, of course. But nobody else expected it. There was no way out, as Patrick told the group that the lock had just, ya know, disappeared.

They all told him he simply could just not see the lock, mostly because it was very dark. But he told them he could not feel it either, and they believed him since he obviously studied where the lock was, as he wanted to get out of this house more than any of the others. Just to test if this was true, and to make sure Patrick was not just playing a prank on them to scare them, Max went up to feel the exact spot on the door where the lock originally was. And as expected, he felt no lock at all.

The group suddenly heard a very high-pitched scream. It sounded like it was coming from Emma.

“HELP ME!”, she screamed. “I DON’T WANT TO DIE!”

The room they were in was completely dark, and nobody could even see two inches in front of them. Everyone wanted to escape from the darkness, but they had no idea where to go, so they all just stood there doing nothing but hoping that nothing would happen to them. And at that moment, the chandelier turned itself back on, flashing on and off every few seconds.

Everyone looked around to see their remaining group members. Jordan counted how many group members they had. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. He also remembered to count himself, which made the total person count 11. One member was missing. And no doubt, that person was Emma.

Everybody looked around the spot where Emma originally was, and nobody even saw one single trace of her. No blood, nothing. While the rest of the group was looking around for traces of her, Zachary noticed something strange. He pointed something out that nobody else realized.

“Wasn’t there a ripped couch in this room?”

Everybody looked over, and of course, there it was: a completely empty room with no ripped couch in sight. Max also looked over to the spot of the door and noticed that the whole thing had disappeared, as well as one of the candles that were originally next to a painting. After that shocking news, everyone went back to searching for traces of Emma.

“I want to go home!”, Patrick yelled very furiously. “I knew this was a horrible idea!”

Zachary patted Patrick's back and told him that it was all going to be okay, though Zachary himself did not even think it was going to be okay. He told himself that he needed to maintain a positive attitude. While Zachary was comforting Patrick, Jackson looked to the left and saw a magazine on the ground. He picked it up and blew some of the dust off of it, and looked at it, though it was still hard to look at considering there was so much dust on the cover. The magazine looked at least fifty years old. And the headline of the magazine made him shake in fear.

The headline read this: Seventeen People Die This Year From Mysterious ‘Deathman’s Home’

Suddenly, it started getting warmer and warmer, and Jackson was suffering minor burns, as he threw the magazine down onto the floor. It caught fire and started gradually spreading.

“Everybody run!”, Jackson yelled.

Everybody ran out of the room at top speed. Patrick and Zachary were sitting down, surprised, and both of them had a struggle of getting up off of the ground to run. Patrick almost was burned, but luckily outran the flames. The two followed the rest of the group into a nearby bathroom, and they all squeezed into the room and shut the door...

Author's Note

Is this a creepy start?

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A very nice chapter. I like the feel of fear. You made the house feel like a mystery and create dangerous situations and thoughts of the characters. You did very well. Please send me read requests. I would enjoy reading more of this interesting tale. Thank you Jordan for sharing the excellent chapter.
Coyote

[JordanStories]

Thanks for all the great feedback man :D I appreciate it!

[Srchaud]

Its a creepy start, but I have some ideas if you want to try them.
Maybe the kid reads a story from teh magizine, telling how the 17 people died.
maybe in there is pictures and photos of one of the childrens parents.
Maybe they all see emma sit on the couch before the lights go and out when it comes on she and the couch are gone.

[Dwayne J. Keeves]

The adrenaline pumping. Sweat dripping. Hearts racing. Bottom of feet draws cold.and eyes tear up. I love it.