Magnum Opus

The final piece for my creative writing class

Dreams. We all have them, we all wish that we could catch them and make them come true. What are your dreams? To publish a book? To be president? To rule the world like we all know Bridget is gonna do?

What's my dream, you ask?

Well, in grade school, my dream was to be a Pokemon master and to date Elliot Greenlee, my fifth grade "love". My dream was to be a Japanese comic book artist and to move to Japan in middle school. At the start of high school, my dream was to become popular on dA, and to move to Arkansas, to be with my boyfriend, Dallas.

Then, I lost my dreams. I stopped dreaming. I never thought I'd be able to dream again... I lost hope and sight. I became severely depressed and started cutting. I thought about suicide day in, day out. I thought about slidding that goddamn razor down my wrist and ending it. I stopped caring about everything- school, friends, romance, everything. Life was hollow and dark. Each day was harder to breathe than the last. I begged to die. I screamed to whichever god or goddess that I worshipped at the time to take my life...

Life was a hollow shell and I was the embryo inside it, being nursed until I was ready to hatch; to bloom.

But the torment didnt stop there.

I became a freak. My own family started to turn on me, to hate me. I could see it in their eyes, hear it in their voice... I was so alone.

I began dating just for amusement. Hell, I didnt care if it was sexual or not. I lost my virginity to a drunken man when I was ten, anyways, so its not like I had anything to give. Whats that? You say I had my heart to give?

No, friend, I'm afraid that was burried a long time ago, with everything and one I loved and gave a flying f**k about.

I closed myself off to everyone, everything, I stopped caring. I stopped trying. I forced a smile and faked a laugh. The scars were real though.

Are real though.

Smoking. I picked up my first cigarette when I was in middle school. Ihaven and I were at a bus stop and I had asked her for a drag. Never put them down. Matter a fact, I kept them clasped between my dried up, careless lips and inhaled that therapudic toxic into my lungs. I mean, what else could I do? I was running out of room to bleed out my frustration and disgust, so I picked up an even worse habbit. Strange how that happens, huh?

I dont remember half of my highschool career. I only remember really my junior year.

I met him. His name is still a bitter reminder not to trust. not to care. to distance yourself from everyone around you.

Mitch.

I remember lying to my parents and saying I cut contact with him when in truth I was texting him from Ihaven's cell phone. I remember wishing that the Gods would have mercy on us and change my fathers mind to give him a second chance. Everyone said that there was something off about him. He liked to party. To get drunk. To get high. He loved to do all that. I was the complete opposite.

I had never partied. I had never gotten drunk or high.

Hell, the worse I had done was send a couple of dirty pictures and texts to the guys I was with.

I wasn't no match for him. I wasnt a match for anyone. I once again becane cold to everyone around me, distancing myself.

My ex-girlfriend messaged me over facebook, talking about how she was in love with this dude, but he wouldnt get with her because of his girlfriend at the time. She described him as her "Prince Charming". I stupidly adapted that to fit Mitchell.

Isn't it funny how you can cry ten thousand tears, yet they are never for being hurt. You cry cause you're happy, you cry because you're in pain, you cry cause of a break up, but when they actually hurt you. When they strip you of your heart, body, mind and soul. When they steal your hopes from under your nose, isnt it funny how you can't cry?

Mitchell and I indulged in eachother until December 9th, 2011. Fifteen days from our "one year", and he left me. He said the Goddess came to his Coven Priestess and told her that we weren't ready. That we needed to wait and heal. I was a child. I believed him. I was blindfolded by the desire to be needed.

He lied. Whispers in my ear and promises he never promised.

He taught me to fear and beat me with the three words that you are supposed to be embraced with.

Reviews

[matrixmark]

A pretty hard hitting piece.Quite deep in some parts but sadly true for many. Your word usage is excellently executed on such a difficult subject for some.

The last sentence very striking indeed.

Mark.

[Joplinx_Caster]

Thank you very much for the kind words! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :D