Why should I hide?

Why should I paint my face for this occasion? Will it hide my feelings? No. What's the point in hiding my feelings? Today, I didn't see the point in hiding anything. It's better to have everything in the open. What's the point in hiding grief? It won't make me stronger by hiding it. I didn't cry today.  I think I've let all of my tears out for now anyway. I don't like the way crying makes me feel and it doesn't help much of anything.
Funerals are a time to respect the dead. It is not time to worry about what will happen next. We should leave that in God's hands. He will work everything out.
I know he's in a better place now and he's not suffering anymore. So what's the use in crying and worrying? There is none. Even though he's in a better place he will be missed dearly. I wish I wasn't always so logical but getting worked up about something I can't control is silly.