Let me go

teen drama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let me go

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prologue

 

 

 

 

 

Disney land was even better than it looked on TV, nothing could have prepared me for its tremendous scale, magical atmosphere, and addictive feel! Penny’s sixteen-year-old sister had been given the task of entertaining us for the day while our parents did their own thing. She wasn’t that bad, she let us go where we wanted and tried to show an interest bless her. We could both tell she didn’t want to be here, but nonetheless she was. Penny and I floated about the park like children in a sweet store; there was so much to see, so much to do, so much to experience!

“Jamie! Jamie! Lets go on it’s a small world!”

As soon as she said this I could see her sister looked as though she was about to drop dead, but I didn’t care, I was in Disneyland.

“Race you there!” I replied

And just like that we shot off into the diminishing queue, too fast for Ellie’s eyes to notice. As we grew closer to the front of the line we could here the famous small world chant, oh how repetitive it was. There’s no denying it, even we found it a little monotonous, but we still managed to have a laugh. Stood next to the entrance onto the ride was a middle-aged man, maybe 35. His skin looked like an oil painting, his hair had probably never seen shampoo. Every time he turned round to his controls, a strong smell of onions wafted around the air. God knows how he managed to get the job. At the front of the queue was a couple. A male and female, both of whom had seen well over sixty. As their boat approached, their interlocking hands stayed where they were. Being the gentleman, he let her on first, steadying her balance with a hand, the other one not too far behind. When she was sitting in place, the old man slowly and awkwardly climbed aboard next to her. His fragile and timid hands shook their way towards hers. Once again they were interlocked. The boat slowly accelerated them into the distance and out into the ride. It just shows you’re never too old for a little bit of fun. I may have only been eight, but it was still kind of cute I guess.

I had day dreamed for longer than I thought; we were next to board. Penny went first, leaping and bounding her way through the gates. I reached out to try and be like the old man, but she had all ready hopped onto the boat. Maybe I was the one who needed help. I quickly followed on and made my way to the seat next to her, we were the only two people it had the task of carrying. Much like the first one, we slowly trundled along the water and made our way into the small world.

Everything I saw was extravagant, over exaggerated figurines with surprisingly realistic movements. It all made me feel rather uncomfortable, ruining a fun day with Penny and her sister, whilst she was there, was not part of the plan. The further we adventured into this world, the further I began to forget about everything. We were in Disneyland, I couldn’t think of any place id rather be right now. Everything had been designed to grip our attention and keep us hooked to the magical addiction. It was working more than it needed to. The bright colours, the enchanting music, the oddly proportioned characters, it was enough for any six year old to burst! Every tunnel we sailed under released a new place not totally different from the last. Every door we passed through exposed extraordinary artistic feats that would have astonished even the most profound artist.

After being caught up in the moment, I lost all sense of place and totally forgot I was with penny. Oh well, she wasn’t the reason I was here. Girl’s, who needs them?

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter one

 

 

  

 

 

It was the last Friday before Christmas break, the idea of getting decent or even acceptable work done was absurd, and all the teachers knew it. Even suggesting we had homework was a crime in itself, what kid wants to spend their Christmas doing algebra? Despite our optimistic thoughts, this was to be the case. Two history essays a math’s test, and a science project. All assigned with a smug grin from the teacher, how depressing. I doubted anyone would even attempt any of it; that was until I remembered we had Jake in the class. Jake was a tall fellow, about six foot two, slightly lanky and with the most atrocious acne you've ever seen. He liked to keep himself to himself, never getting involved in confrontation, or even discussion for that matter, yet he always seemed to come out with top grades. Must have been one of these swatting types of people, never even thought they existed until him. Jack turned to me from in front

"Really?" he muttered

"I know, it’s like this teacher actually wants us to hate him" I replied

"Quiet!" shouted Mr. Miles "you've got bad enough grades as it is Jamie, stop talking and start concentrating"

I always tried to concentrate; I get that school is important, just that being a teenager comes with lots of distractions.

 

Penny had the doctors straight after school so I would walk her there and then we had planned to go and watch a movie back at hers, nothing serious, just a cute night. So, after the 3:30 bell went we took a brisk walk down to the doctors, it was only about 10 minutes away so we had plenty of time. We arrived bang on time so penny went through. As she did so I took a seat in the waiting room, thoughts slowly crept up on me, why was she here? I never asked her. I didn't think it to be serious; if it was then I thought we were at that stage in our friendship/relationship that we could tell each other. We would tell each other everything, always had done and always would do. I remember a guy back at the middle of last year; he proclaimed his love for her and then asked me not to tell.  I told her everything, its funny how they think I won't, oh no please don't tell you best friend that I like them. In what world would someone not tell his or her best friend that? I had my iPod in and started to drift further and further into subconscious thought. I began to think of when I first saw penny, in all honesty it was not "love at first sight" i don't believe in that s**t. To me she was just another person, but another person that I managed to grow closer and closer to as time went on. We weren't perfect, we had our ups and downs, but it worked whatever we had worked.

I looked at the clock; twenty minutes had gone whilst precious memories soaked up my thoughts. There was a man in the corner of the room, around 9 stone and about 6ft, in his late fifties maybe. Since I had been there all he'd done was flick through magazines from cars and women to gardening and cooking, you name it he'd been reading it. Did he think this to be a place of leisure? What a great idea, come to the doctors to read for hours on end, how respectful can one person get, abuse the NHS in every way possible.

At that moment an elderly women of around the same age slowly barged her bony figure throw the doors. She crept along like a predator stalking its prey, growing ever more cautious with each step. After what seemed like minutes, she finally stopped in front of the gentlemen in the corner

"It’s what we thought” she stammered

The man, presumably her husband, looked at her with an utterly terrified and emotionally drained face. His eyes darted towards the floor as his body slumped back into the chair; it was as if all life had suddenly left him. His wife closed her eyes; a tear wept from deep within, slowly running down her face, over the rough and imperfect skin, each mark telling a different story, and all of them being overrun by this single moment. My heart sunk, I feared the worst for penny

  Almost half a dozen people had come and gone now, but none the person I wished to see. Another 20 minutes passed before I saw her again, her beautiful smile now weighted down by the ominous news it must have carried. As she made her way over to me her expression changed, I could tell her smile was forced, psychology lessons had their uses. To be really honest it was obvious she was hiding something from me; I'm not quite sure why she allowed me to come along when she was just going to hide it in the first place...

"Come on then let’s go” she said with that forced smile

Reluctantly and without question I'm gathered her bags and followed.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2

 

 

 

 

The walk was surprisingly not awkward at all, though for some reason we took the scenic route, which we never do.  Every step we took from the doctors seemed as though she got a little more despondent each time. I figured maybe the schoolwork load stressed her, as it did to us all. She seemed oblivious to me, not in the right frame of mind to make small talk. We continued walking; it was as if it was just me by myself. About twenty minutes later we arrived at her house, nineteen Holly close. She stepped up into the porch, fumbled for her keys, and opened the door. None of her family was there, her two brothers were at school and her sister had already left home. Her mother, thankfully, was at a work conference. Claire never much cared for her; she was the sort of mum who would leave her for the evening with a 17-year-old incompetent excuse of a child minder. You would never catch Penny and her mum doing girly things together, they would never do anything together, except eat and even that was a rarity. I suppose you would call it a love hate relationship. The most difficult part of what Penny and I had together was her mum knew nothing of it. Claire would discriminate any ideas to do with Penny in terms of relationships. She wasn’t even keen on her having a guy friend in general, but there was no way for her to know what went on at school. Claire’s husband left when penny was born, no notes and no reasons. Ever since then she's had a vendetta against men. Having been caught once before with a guy, Penny's relationship with her was not on the best of terms and probably never would be. She would come into school numerous times and look emotionally drained, like there was nothing more for life to take from her, yet it kept on taking. I would always do my best to cheer her up, but it never quite seemed enough. She could never have a cute talk with her mum about whom she liked or what to do about this or that. Her personality at home was totally different from that at school; she had to put on a fake smile just so her mum didn't ask questions. Every day she tried not to show that different life she had, but every day I could see through her. Maybe she was beyond my help, or maybe she just didn’t think much of my opinion, either way it bothered me tremendously. It seemed as though one minute she would confide in me totally, and the other she would just find someone else. She was very insecure, always needed more than one person, just having one guy “friend” wasn’t enough for her and I think that’s the reason we’ve never made anything official. Penny was beautiful, there were no two ways about it but she could never believe it. Her smile could brighten my day whatever mood I was in, it was the cutest little thing. Her eyes were so deep and charming that I found myself becoming lost in them mid conversation. Her hair was always beautiful; it was like a piece of art, perfection. She was the cutest sweetest girl in the world, but like I said, no one could convince her.

After unlocking the front door, she walked through the house straight to the phone.

"Won’t be a minute" she yelled

"Alright, I’ll go put the DVD on" I responded

As I walked into the front room, the kitchen door slammed shut. I could only hear mumbles, but it was very a very odd thing for her to do. When she was with me, I usually had her full attention, she would never take calls and never even text anyone when we were together. Ever the optimist I let it go, I was totally sure it was innocent.

Penny's front room was very tidy; it had very large French windows at the furthermost part allowing any vacant light to shine through into the room. They also had to large leather sofas, although pleasing to the eye, they became very hot or very cold depending on the temperature, getting physically stuck to them in the summer started to become a joke. In the very corner of the room was a 42inch flat screen television, the centre of attention and a best friend during awkward family situations. Underneath this was a very old, very obtrusive and ugly looking DVD player, unfortunately when saying underneath I mean on the floor. The carpet that Claire had chosen to put down was repulsive, and I mean it. It was a mild green colour, all over the house, though I suppose on the bright side that meant you couldn't see any of the mould, luckily. The amount of arguments this room must have seen is unimaginable, I mean I'm not saying their family is falling apart but it certainly isn't pulling together. Penny has told me of things of how I would not have imagined a mother to act. It wouldn't surprise me if at some point or other she had beaten her, but that’s just me jumping to conclusions.

I scrolled through their very limited but interesting movie collection for five or so minutes before finally deciding on "love actually", possibly the greatest rom-com ever made but much to my surprise, still in its plastic wrapping. Just that second I was about to ask Penny whether she had seen it, when I realised she was still on the phone. Bending down to the repulsive carpeting, I took the DVD out of the case and placed it into the DVD machine and after several minutes of fiddling with remotes it seemed to be working, for the moment at least.

I could still hear her on the phone but I went in and mimed to her the DVD was set up. I then went back and laid on our sofa, we always snuggled up to each other on there, cringe worthy I know, I but I couldn't care less, it was all I wanted to do. Only a few seconds after I laid down, penny poked her head round the door and let her mouth open into that beautiful smile I loved. She ran from the door to the sofa almost taking out their pet cat on the way and jumped on top of me with a big grin still firmly attached. We re-arranged ourselves with her in front and me with my arm around her, such a cozy position to lie in. I searched for the remote with a very happy feeling, there was no sense of worry and no sense she was hiding something, despite what I felt at the doctors and the fact she had just been on the phone for a rather long time. We sat there for the next two hours fifteen minutes totally attached to one another. I hadn't felt this close to her in a long time. Every so often she would squeeze my hand and give me eye contact, sending a warm fuzzy feeling throughout my body. I never wanted this moment to end but knew it had to. I had a feeling this would be one of the last times it happened, Penny had never been so perfect, it had to be too good to be true. She had also seemed to be relying on me a lot more recently which was not like her at all, I had known her for a few years now and she was such an independent girl, didn't even like to ask for help in the class. I doubt Mr. Miles has had much of an effect on her education up until recently.

As soon as the credits started neither of us moved, we just lay there speechless. Just out of the corner of my eye I saw a tear roll down her cheek, but she did not react to it, it’s as if she pushed her feelings aside completely.

"Penny…sweetie what’s wrong?" I said in a slightly awkward tone of voice, no girl had cried in front of me before when we were alone.

"Huh-no its ok Jamie, its just family stuff, I'm sorry its rude of me to be like this in front of you" she cried

I pondered for a second wondering how to reply. If it was family stuff she would always tell me what was up, but this time was somehow different. Without wanting to cause an upset I replied simply

"Oh-I see" 

We were both sitting up now so I went in to hug her. I could feel her nestle her head into my shoulder and hang onto the hug for a second or two too long. In an attempt to pull herself together she got up and told me she would go and prepare dinner for us both. In an effort to show I cared about how she was I triumphantly stood up.

"Let me help you" I insisted

Penny turned around and subtly shook her head and continued to walk away. I know to most people it might not seem like much but to me or to Penny for that matter, offering to cook was a big thing. Back at home I would never cook; my limit was probably a cheese toasty. It wasn't necessarily the fact I couldn't cook, in all fairness it was just because i was lazy, but I didn't hide that fact. I sat in the front room for the next hour or so, totally dazed by what was going on and how she was acting. Resulting to a best friend in an awkward situation, I flicked through the TV shows and tried to feel interested about the crap that was on.

"Dinners ready" penny cried

I quickly drew myself back into reality and honed in on the smell that I believed to be lasagne, my favourite. Once again I was surprised; the plan was to just order pizza, this night wasn't supposed to be anything fancy. Like any other guy I went with my stomach and not my brain, chasing the scent of the food into the kitchen. As I poked my head round the 1960's style door, I noticed Penny was almost half way through her dinner and showed no sign of slowing down. I cautiously inched my way closer to the table feeling as though I wasn't welcome. As I sat down she glanced up into my eyes for a brief moment before continuing. She flung her knife and fork onto her plate and abruptly slouched back into her awkwardly shaped chair.

"I’m sorry Jamie, there’s just a lot going on right now, its not you.

Penny could never hold a grudge towards someone she had fallen for and this had rubbed off into just about any situation. This had started from her first true and serious boyfriend, they had been going out for years until it suddenly ended. It had ripped all sense. Here latest “mate” seemed to please her much more, but would only hurt her in the end. She didn't see things like everyone else did, she grew naive as the days grew darker. It seemed as though the boy could use her, abuse her, and do anything he liked with her and she would continue to fall for him time and time again. It was as if she was a toy of a child to play with, not a woman in a loving relationship. Even now I struggled to grasp whether there was or wasn’t something going on between them. It seemed as though they were worst enemies one day and inseparable the next. The thing that rotted away inside me most was the fact that he had cheated and lied his way through the relationship. She could have done better, aside from being naive; she was as I have said before, perfection in my eyes. I remember one day we spent together; it was a day in a million.

I had been looking forward to it more than ever seen as it had been changed numerous times, some even without reason. This upset me more than ever but I never showed it, always kept a smile on my face just for her. As long as she was happy then I had someone to fall back on and there was no one better. We met early in the morning, the crisp and cold weather I had been hoping for. I still couldn't believe it, such a beautiful person in body and soul, and she was meeting with me! Me of all people! There were numerous guys that would have given their left arm to have a day like this with a girl like that, but she chose me. We walked for a while, up and down the fields, getting deeper and deeper into a conversation that would poke me continuously throughout the day. The words she spoke to me hurt, they pushed my heartbeat the wrong way for a millisecond, not long enough for me to take it in. She had started smoking, in her eyes it was not because she wanted to, but because she had to. A small stick that had the power to take a life, or at least make it a horrendous effort. I tried to pretend it didn't hurt me but it did, more than anything we'd ever been through. Penny knew my mum had been diagnosed with cancer several years ago and that it sometimes still affected me to this date. We grew closer by the day but hearing that she had smoked on more than one occasion made us jump 10 steps back.. Anyway, if its what made her happy, then why not, its her decision, as long as she is happy and its not as if she was addicted. I always looked out for her interests and would have stuck by her with any decisions she made. The one thing I didn’t understand was lying, and she had lied to me before. I know people lie but I didn’t expect it to come from her, she could have done something horrendous and I wouldn’t have cared as long as she told the truth. The night I found out she lied to me, I cried, I'm not afraid to admit it and you can call me a wimp but it was more upsetting than most things.

I looked at her with a pale face and tormented expression.

"Well-is there anything I can do to help?"

"Yes Jamie, don't remind me of the fact"

Our eyes met each other for a split second; both pairs lay motionless with angst. The solid wooden chair slid from underneath her legs across the tiled floor, she turned anti clockwise and walked off into the hall and up the stairs. I sat there on my own and took in the scene that presented itself in front of me. The pasta she'd cooked sprawled itself across the bowl, the cutlery and chair copied. Everything else in the kitchen was pristine and correctly placed. The glasses: the plates, the pans and pots, all where they should be. What I saw stuck out like a sore thumb. The scene in front of me could paint a thousand words, none of which I could even begin to understand.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3

 

 

 

 

With my tail tucked between my legs and my head to the floor, I followed on. It felt like a wild goose chase, I wasn't sure what I expected to find at the other end. My first instinct was her bedroom, and sure enough she was there. As I poked my head round the corner I saw a young innocent girl crawled up into the foetal position. Her head was nestled into the middle of her pillows and her arm clutched a cuddly toy, this one would never let her down. I remember her saying her mum bought it for her, someone to cuddle her when she wasn't around, and someone that would always be by her side no matter what. Again I cautiously approached her, not knowing what reaction I would be greeted with. As I sat on the bed, her breathing deepened, her body strained, her grip tightened. We sat there for a few seconds, I allowed her to get accustomed to my presence. After she was comfortable, she hoisted herself upright against the backboard, using more energy and effort than was truly needed. Again we sat there, it was if we were waiting for the other person to say something, but neither of us did. I felt closer to her, for those few seconds told me more about her than anything else had done before. As we sat there, I was oblivious to the fact we were physically becoming closer. Her thigh was now tightly pressed up against mine; I could feel her warmth spread throughout my body. She threw her leg over me; still we grew closer. Her head moved towards mine, I could feel her warm breath on my neck, interrupting my breathing, pushing it off course. Her lips carefully caressed mine; I shivered with anticipation. She looked me up and down with a deep look of remorse. Her hand graciously swung towards her hair, pulling the obstructive strands back into order. She leaned towards me, just enough for me to see more of her. It would have excited me more but I was still taken back by the sort of day it had been, nothing seemed a shock anymore. This time her soft and gentle lips pressed themselves firmly up against my rough and totally inexperienced ones. She went to move away after a few seconds but I didn’t let her, I grasped the back of her head and played with her hair. She pulled away, her hands and fingers anxiously worked their way down her shirt, unbuttoning each and every button on their way down. Once her body had been set free from the restraint of the shirt, she cast it aside. Penny took hold of the duvet, flipped it off the bed, and dived in next to me.

“I have something to tell you”, she whispered

 

 

 

 

Chapter 4

 

 

 

 

7:15 saw the sunrise. I had been awake for the better part of the whole night. It was as if id zoned out from the rest of the world for the duration, but I could remember every minute of it like it was my last. What penny told me gave me the worst hurt I had ever felt; it pushed every one of my feelings to the limit. At this time I was sure I felt more of an emotion than her, hearing it is worse than having it I thought. How could such a b*****d thing happen to such a beautiful girl? Something so small in looks had the possibility to destroy any young and flourishing or old and wise person. Last night penny told me she had found a small lump about the size of a two pence piece on the side of her breast. This is what she went to the doctors for; this was the reason she had been acting out of the ordinary. She told me in a way that made it seem no more serious than an argument with a friend; I guess she was just trying to be brave for me. Ever since mum had cancer I felt paranoid and upset about even the smallest of things. Disputes, being made fun of, being made out to be something I’m not, being lied to, and the list goes on. Penny knew I was sensitive, so in all honesty I owed her a favour for sparing my feelings any more grief.

I sat up in bed; my eyes had already acclimatized to the light. Over my right shoulder lay a delicate girl with an uncertain future. Not even I, a person who had helped her through every kind of episode, had the power to alter it this time. Penny wasn’t a strong girl, she always gave into people if it made them happy, always put a certain person before herself. Trying is something she would always do though, I hoped she would try and keep to the girl I knew and loved through a situation no child should ever have to face.

It was now 7:30; I had managed to procrastinate in this paranoid state of mine for fifteen minutes. I was in the “live everyday as if its your last” kind of mood so I wanted seize the day. Down by the side of her bed were some fluffy socks; they may not have been mine but come on, who wouldn’t have worn them when it’s this temperature. I carefully but briskly made my way out of her room, past the mounds of clothes and miniature posters. This room didn’t get tidied, not for me and not for anyone. I felt like Id just got a baby to sleep and was trying to escape without waking her. I thought id be cute and go make her something to eat, breakfast in bed was a treat no matter how old you are. Carefully I crept around the obstacles and after holding my breath for a brief moment, made it out of the room. Like a water boatman on a pond I glided my way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Déjà vu struck me like a brick to the head, what lay before me was an emotional battlefield left untouched. My mind was suddenly submerged into previous thoughts and feelings, a lot like a broken record. I smashed both my hands onto the side of my head trying to make sense of what had just happened, but luck wasn’t on my side. Out of uncontrollable urge and sheer anger, a fist shape revealed itself on my hand. Hitting a drywall would have been satisfying if I was strong enough to punch it through but unfortunately I was not. Instead, it felt as though I had broken every single little bone in every part of my hand. This agony accompanied by a fierce whimper and solid bang made for an interesting scene. All I was doing was feeling sorry for myself, how selfish. Trying to forget about it, I started to put some out of date bread in the toaster. In the reflection of the metal toaster I made out a petite and subtle figure, Penny. As I turned round I was greeted with a sharpening response.

“Jamie what the hell are you doing?”

“I was making you breakfast, everybody loves breakfast in bed” I responded

“No, not you, you’ve always been self centered, I don’t want you treating me any differently, I told you that because I trust you, I trust you to stay the same”

Penny almost sounded frightened in her speech. As if things couldn’t get worse, now I’ve scared her?

“Alright, Id rather you just let me do it, you aren’t the only one who’s affected by this you know, I need a way to cope too…”

With this, I got the same shake of the head as I did last night. I could see her eyes welling up; she turned her head and scampered back up the stairs. Maybe I took it a little too far… After all, we didn’t even get the results until a week later… Here we go again, paranoid old me, ever the pessimist. I felt almost obligated to make her breakfast in bed now, despite what she said. Gathering my sense of reality back, I swung back round to the worktop and continued to make the toast.

After a very long ten minutes I was making my way upstairs with a glass of orange juice, two pieces of toast, and a banana, how healthy. This was the same walk as last night, the same stairs, the same person in the room, but different emotions. My mouth was sucked dry of all the moisture managed to posses. As I walked over the un-welcoming carpet I could hear a soft whine come from within the confines of her bedroom. I continued to make my way to the door, slightly hastening my step. Once I had reached the door I poked my head round its unstable frame. Before my eyes sat penny, tucked in the covers like a cocoon. The closer I stepped towards her, the more detail uncovered itself upon her expressionless face. The bedside table perfectly accommodated the tray; they made for quite the pair. As I sat on the bed next to her a tear gently rolled down her smooth and baby like cheek. My mind halted, it flew back in reverse to when we were in the doctor’s, I recalled the elderly women doing the same thing, though this time the tear had no stories to eclipse, this was her first.

“Penny, I didn’t mean to sound so selfish and arrogant in the kitchen, Its just I…”

I was cut off like bird in a cage.

“Don’t bother, it was my fault, I just don’t want you changing anything about you just because of me”

She continued with a more restrained and serious tone.

“Jamie, whatever we have, whatever you think it is we’ve got going on, we don’t… I need to tell you I don’t see you any other way than a friend, last night was a moment of weakness and for that I’m truly sorry”

What did I just hear? The days, the months, the years I had believed something would happen, all destroyed in a single sentence. I had no idea what I was supposed to do… Almost every feeling I had felt had been one of near love for this girl. My heart paused for what seemed like an eternity, my gaze came to a stand still over Penny. Could I really be this close to a girl and know I still had feelings for her? Yes, yes I could. Penny meant more to me than anyone had done before, seeing such a cute smile on her face was the only thing that mattered to me, no matter how it was placed there. Even though it would give me detrimental pain, I would be far more comfortable if Penny was happy, even if that happiness was not being with me. As long as the guy she was with treated her well and treated her like a princess, like she deserved, then I could live with it. I would always offer her advice, I would sit there and listen to her chatter and always give her the advice that would end up, what I would think, to be the best for her. Earlier on in our friendship I thought she took my helpfulness and kindness for granted, and she did, not even Penny denied it. Offering advice in this situation however was close to impossible. As much as I wanted to there’s no way I could ever change her feelings.

Stunned into silence and lost for words I just tried to fill the awkwardness

“Oh ok that’s fine, I don’t mind”

Without anything else I took myself downstairs, got my bags, and left. I helped penny through everything and almost always made it more bearable for her, but as much as I wanted to there’s no way I could ever change her feelings.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 5

 

 

 

 

In hindsight, leaving Penny alone in the house in her current situation may not have been one of my best ideas, but I wasn’t going to turn back now. My house was only a few minutes walk from hers, maybe five at most. It was one of these new builds, only a few years newer than pennies, god knows how she has that awful old carpet… My house was on the corner of the street, right next to a turning that no one seemed to indicate for. I didn’t even drive and it really pissed me off. It wasn’t really a pretty house, just looked like a big square; it had no interesting or stand out features. The person who designed it obviously didn’t care whether it was aesthetically pleasing or not.

I checked my watch.

“S**t, mum doesn’t leave for another two hours”

As I approached the door my hand dug into my pocket and fumbled around for the keys. My whole body but especially my hands were still shaking from the ordeal that happened a few minutes ago. Penny was the only thing I could think off, as I tried to push her out of my head she just came swimming back in again. I looked up at the sky, which very clearly reflected my mood, dull and depressed. The keys weren’t there, must have left them at Penny’s for some reason. My arm arched, ready to knock at the door, but was stopped by the convenient appearance of a blurred figure. It glided swiftly across the unblemished floor, disturbing nothing. Before I knew it, the figure was peering through the eyehole, looking me up and down. From the long golden locks and slightly shallow height I could tell, it was mum. I hoped this time I would be greeted with a positive reaction. As she opened the door I got a glimpse of a warm and inviting smile. She spoke words that broke the uncomfortable silence.

“Morning Jamie, in you come”

To my utter shock she didn’t even mention the fact I had been gone for a night. I didn’t tell her I wouldn’t come back, in fact come to think I of it I don’t even know if I told her I was going round penny’s. She was just like every other teenage mum; she needed to know where I was going, when I would be back, and who I would be with. I mean it’s understandable to be a little protective, but come on, give us a break

I stepped into the house, my heart pounded from my chest and I could feel myself sweating.  I carefully, whilst trying not to let my nervs get the better of me un-raveled the monotonous bow I had tied hours before.

“Nope, I never said take your shoes off, we’re working in the garden”

I was a lazy boy, my whole family knew it and I wasn’t about to change… This time however it seemed different. Her voice wasn’t raised; she didn’t have that look in her eyes. I followed her through the hallway, into the kitchen, and out the back doors. The garden was full of leaves, still left here from a few weeks ago. I assumed this would be my duty to clean up, shouldn’t take too long.

“Right Jamie, I need you to clean up the leaves, sand down the furniture in the garage, pull up all these old plants, move the garden furniture into the garage”

…Maybe it might take longer than I thought.

As quickly as she had explained it to me, she was gone. I was left on my own, exposed to the winter weather with no chance of getting away. Well, what else could I have done, she would have just made me do it all over again. More than one hour had past and I was still nowhere near finishing, to call me slow would be an understatement. I went back inside to get a drink; it was thirsty work, well for me anyway.

The cupboards in our house almost always had a tendency to be empty, and mum always went shopping. Maybe we were all just a bit greedier than we’d like to admit. Even with the dwindling supply of food and drink, I managed to find a half full jar of hot chocolate, perfect! Believe it or not, the un-welcoming aura of the house now seemed quite pleasant in place of the garden; then again it didn’t take much to persuade me. The living room seemed like the best way to spend however many hours I had in front of me. The television seemed to be a best friend in more than one situation. Even so, it was still only crap on, nothing that demanded my full attention. Sometimes I don’t know why I even bothered, its not even really good watching. The amount of time that can pass whilst aimlessly sitting around is quite astounding really. As I lay there, the sun went in the clouds, but failed to shows itself again. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Was I really in the wrong? Surely not, I just wanted to help her, it was hardly worth all the fuss.