Ebb and flow

Ebb and Flow

A whispered truth, a shrouded night,
Your fate was etched in shadows tight;
A clock that ticked with soft despair,
Yet in the void, you learned to dare.

From darkness came a piercing light,
The second breath, the fledgling flight;
With life as vast as oceans roam,
You found yourself, yet felt alone.

In crowded corners, hearts collide,
Yet you found peace where few reside;
The purple porpoise, a silent shore,
Where laughter dances, but you want no more.

Here, in the murmur of reckless glee,
Amongst the lost, you find the key,
To drink the night in fractured bliss,
To lose yourself in the abyss.

Brandy's warmth in amber pools,
The bartender’s smile, a beacon of fools;
Comrades in chaos, their voices collide,
As you sip solitude, and let thoughts slide.

The world outside, a distant dream,
While inside these walls, the lights softly gleam;
With every clink, your laughter's light,
You weave through the thickness of night.

A sanctuary soaked in shadows deep,
Where solace hides in secrets you keep;
In this seedy embrace, you finally roam,
A lost soul singing of finding home.

So when the dawn creeps in with pain,
You’ll wear your freedom, like a chain,
For life runs wild in paradox,
And in your lostness, you find the locks.

Tool plays, telling us to relax and turn away,
The bass line drawing me in, the once lost stray.
Fools bane, merigold and other smells fill the air,
To guess the source of the aromas, I do not care.

The labyrinth of my mind, a never ending quagmire,
Twisted and brittle, burnt to the core by dragon's fire.
Chaotic noise encompasses the the darkened canteen,
Whispers of life comes from subconscious unseen.

To drowned out the voices and fight the demons with in,
The whiskey, comradery and debauchery of sin.
The angels of death, no longer hold me soul,
Returning to the body of a man that was once whole.

Now broken and battered, a testament to life,
The bloody man's smile, no signs of strife.
No healing is done, the pain is what's real,
For without it he's numb, with it he can feel.

Reviews

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

this is a great epic. the first few stanzas conveyed a dramatic narrative of the persona going into the dark. and the middle of the poem leaves us in the dark for an unbearably (in a good way) long time. that we swim around in the abyss, a pool of wretched emotions and racing thoughts. the ending, was a fitting denouement that gives us time to reflect on what we read.
if there is any feedback i can provide, i think there might be a typo in the 2nd last stanza: "The angels of death, no longer hold [me] soul,"?
i was also wondering if there was a reason for the changes in perspective from you > I > he? i found it slightly confusing and it might be a stronger poem if it remained consistent.
but the poem overall left me very impressed - you wrote a long narrative poem in rhyme and explored a lot of big ideas and explores many layers of feelings.