The Isolated Introvert

He drew only what he knew - misery and isolation spilled all over the page. He doused his afflictions with a bottle to his lips and winced at the daggers in his throat. Often he would dwell on his end, more with anticipation than trepidation. His days were largely spent incarcerated within himself and vainly attempting to communicate with those not kept in shackles. No one listened, so he would spill his guts in a series of notebooks. The pages wove a narrative of a man with no solace, save a state of blissful numbness. He always wondered how people could be so awful to each other without a second thought. His heart had grown cold from 80 proof apathy, which now defined his only real reason for consciousness. He ached for an end to the sadness which he found in a bottle of pills. Hours later, he laid in bed, waiting for the nothingness that he dreamed; all that ever came of it was bloodpuke and a feeling of defeat. Sullen, he lived as a ghost in the land of the living, his hatred of the breath in his chest growing stronger every day. Something was going to give; something was going to snap. He could feel himself growing weaker every day, insomnia is a torment you face alone. When you sit upon the threshold of two worlds, you're never really a part of either. A prisoner of his own mind rarely knows how it feels to be free, to be anything but the epitome of isolation with forlorn dreams of being anything other than detached. His notebooks were the only thing that spoke how he really felt. Words don't do justice to the pain he felt, but I had to try, because this man was me. 

Author's Note

5/13/12

Reviews

[Woody]

such a well written little piece! wonderful description and judicious choice of words.
I enjoyed this one.

[Jonny The Savage]

Thank you, kind sir, I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

[B]

I see a work of art here
i see colors
i see a background of shades of grey
I see narrative explosion
The descriptions and details of movement
Introversion leads to invention

[Jonny The Savage]

haha that's why I appreciate your insight.
I just really see gray when I reread this.
Introversion is an important skill,
But it can quite easily become your master.

[Mercy Fae]

This was marvelous, but what really spoke to me was the title.

[Jonny The Savage]

Thank you. Oddly enough I wrote the piece over three years ago and came up with the title yesterday lol.

[Mercy Fae]

It's amazing

[Jonny The Savage]

I won't disagree with you, as much as I want to lol.
I'm probably the harshest critic my art will ever know.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[WhimsicalHeart20]

OMG. Another stellar piece. Beautiful yet sorrowful. You have talent

[Jonny The Savage]

Thanks so much. I really enjoyed it too when I reread it yesterday from the waterlogged notebook it originated from. You might like some of my more recent works, I feel like I've gotten exponentially better as a writer since the time this piece was written (3 years ago). At least that's what I hear haha.

[WhimsicalHeart20]

Waterlogged notebook.. Those are the best pieces. I have a few soggy notebooks of my own. Well, I intend to sit right here and start at the top of your list and work my way down. I have a strong feeling I will be very impressed. I am trying to figure out how I have gone through life without this website...haha

[Jonny The Savage]

haha sadly, for me they were some of my fledgling pieces, in my mind (people tell me that even when I started writing poetry, 7 years ago, it was good, but I don't know that I believe them haha.) I hope so, although not everything is great. It's pretty a pretty nifty site, I agree. Found it ages ago and only started posting my writing here again a few weeks ago.

[WhimsicalHeart20]

aww I see. I truly believe that there is no right or wrong way to write. Whatever one writes is a pure composition from the heart. So to try to change it in any way to me is in fact trying to improve on perfection. I don't know, maybe some people would disagree, but I know whenever I write it is because there is actually something going on or I am feeling a certain way and the only way I know how to let it go or vent is through write. My point is, I'm sure your writing is as amazing now as it was seven years ago. :) I'm long winded, sorry.

[Jonny The Savage]

I agree with you on that, absolutely. Almost everything I write isn't something I compose, but more a jotting down of my stream of consciousness. The few exceptions would be the long essay, Knowsticism, I finished a week and a half or so ago, and the novel I'm working on. People will always disagree, people will always say find ways to suggest that green is red and you're foolish for believing otherwise. Thanks, although I disagree. I'll always be my harshest critic. No reason to apologize, I'm the same way haha.

[WhimsicalHeart20]

who isn't? haha I know I'm my own worst critic. Ill learn as I go though. I definitely hope

[Jonny The Savage]

A lot of people aren't, I've noticed lol. You will, as long as it's something you want to do. Just gotta keep pushing yourself to the absolute limit, and then beyond it.

[WhimsicalHeart20]

Thanks. Youre too kind. :)

[Spencer Arbre]

I really like the imagery in this piece. It really helps the reader feel what the speaker is feeling. This is very powerful. I think my favorite part was 80 proof apathy. I don't know why but that line stood out to me.

[Jonny The Savage]

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I liked 80 proof apathy a lot too haha, you're not alone.