False Song

False Song

A Chapter by Not A Writer
"

Have you ever tried to be happy but it just wouldn't work?

"

Alas, I sing a song

Of undeclared joy. (That's what you want.)

Hoping it will make me strong

But loneliness is stuck in my heart. (This is what I get.)

 

With success I put on a smile,

To appear joyful is my similie. (Don't judge me.)

In my heart lies a trial

Wondering who I ought to be. (Thank-you friends.)



© 2010 Not A Writer


Author's Note

Not A Writer
Poetry rhyme scheme: ABAC.

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Reviews

good poem

Posted 11 Years Ago


I can't find anything to complain about. Your rhyming is spot on, your rhythm is great, and your structure is different but very solid. Even the content embodies exactly what it should. It's not the most amazing thing I've ever read, but it's exactly what you want it to be.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Different. I like it!

Posted 14 Years Ago


I like this poem. I like the set-up and the story in your words. Each line with purpose made the poem stronger. A excellent poem.
Coyote


Posted 14 Years Ago


Yeah, and it sucks. I hate it when people say, "Fake it until you make it."

Posted 14 Years Ago


:p This was really good and strong!

Posted 14 Years Ago


Love the idea, but when you said similie I have a question mark in my head. I could be wrong if you care to explain that to me.

And yes, this a feeling I struggle with everyday trying to be happy when I know I'm not. However, happiness isn't an object and it's not even a feeling we get most of the time. Happiness is crafting a smile, though, there's nothing to smile about. Happiness is taking the best of what we have and making something out of it. Happiness is thanking God even when we feel most hopeless. When you realize what happiness truly is, then you stop thinking about it and start feeling it.

And I like the rhyming style.

Posted 14 Years Ago


this is very good...

Posted 14 Years Ago


Nice idea for a short piece. Not easy to do...

Posted 14 Years Ago


Very good write here. It is not easy to say a lot in so few words.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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359 Views
16 Reviews
Added on April 9, 2010
Last Updated on May 10, 2010


Author

Not A Writer
Not A Writer

Kyoto, MI, Japan



About
Japanese writer Into all things anime 日本万歳. どんなに頑張っても私を見つける .. more..

Writing