False Song

Have you ever tried to be happy but it just wouldn't work?

Alas, I sing a song

Of undeclared joy. (That's what you want.)

Hoping it will make me strong

But loneliness is stuck in my heart. (This is what I get.)

 

With success I put on a smile,

To appear joyful is my similie. (Don't judge me.)

In my heart lies a trial

Wondering who I ought to be. (Thank-you friends.)

Author's Note

Poetry rhyme scheme: ABAC.

Reviews

[Ice QueenJen]

good poem

[The Perfectionist]

I can't find anything to complain about. Your rhyming is spot on, your rhythm is great, and your structure is different but very solid. Even the content embodies exactly what it should. It's not the most amazing thing I've ever read, but it's exactly what you want it to be.

[Voice11]

Different. I like it!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this poem. I like the set-up and the story in your words. Each line with purpose made the poem stronger. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Tina Kline]

Yeah, and it sucks. I hate it when people say, "Fake it until you make it."

[SamBug]

:p This was really good and strong!

[Livana Lowell]

Love the idea, but when you said similie I have a question mark in my head. I could be wrong if you care to explain that to me.

And yes, this a feeling I struggle with everyday trying to be happy when I know I'm not. However, happiness isn't an object and it's not even a feeling we get most of the time. Happiness is crafting a smile, though, there's nothing to smile about. Happiness is taking the best of what we have and making something out of it. Happiness is thanking God even when we feel most hopeless. When you realize what happiness truly is, then you stop thinking about it and start feeling it.

And I like the rhyming style.

[bookworm642]

this is very good...

[The Analog Kid]

Nice idea for a short piece. Not easy to do...

[Senseless whatever]

Very good write here. It is not easy to say a lot in so few words.