!MONSTER! of It All!

Everyone has a Monster around them, but the worse Monster is inside of you. So read and feel the monster that's inside of us all.

Trapped in a box of isolated existence

Sorrow seeps in as I drown in a flood.

You’d think I’d put together all the pieces,

But I fumbled the ball as I fell in the mud.

 

Fear snatches me out of thin air

I’m like a boy hiding from the monsters that’s near.

Yet I hid this fear by frustration, so I’m whack;

I do anything possible, so I won’t crack.

 

Is there any way that I can even describe

This sorrowful, fearful vibe that I cannot hide?

I try to stop and recall the good that is to come,

But the vices seem to overwhelm the sum of them all.  

I am just a monster of it all.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

"monsters that's near" either needs no 's' or it should read "that are"....or take our the "that's" altogether (option 1 and 3 would make the poem read better). Line 3 of Stanza 3 may be just a tad wordy for the musicality to flow through (at least to my ear), but other than that, this is a great read. Well done! (favourite moment: "....I can even describe/This sorrowful....vibe that I cannot hide".....the three "ide" sounds hit the right notes).

[Thomas Skahill]

I like the poem but I feel like instead of red, italics should be used. The color difference makes it hard to concentrate on the other words while italics will merely emphasize.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

A different perspective in this write... you tell the reader in the lines... stressing the usage of "Trapped" and "Fear" in the first two stanzas... and weave this together in the third stanza... and giving the whole thought in the last line: I am just a monster of it all.

[Mike Cole]

I also thought that the mental picture was very well done I think that you could definitely continue. I love to know that their is a monster in us all but that Christ can overcome that monster

[MoriartyMesa]

The mental picture in this is very intense, this is, well i aint got the words in me. But well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of words. A complete tale in so few words. I like the feel of fear and mystery. A perfect ending for the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote