Hels Donkerte

a poem created by word association and we're guessing not many of you would use the same words.

obscurity of the night shrine

raven shadows in death unforgiving

cruel, threatened

within a surreal blood copper curfew

hallowed seconds of torture

hanging bordello ballroom

restless, sinister

vulnerable to mercury teardrops

toxic screams in sunspots vanished

strange infernal blaze

empty mercy, a kismet

sewer world of rats spew, splatter

cautious, there is nothing to restrain

valleys of winter covered

in caster sugar white

Reviews

[Celtic Cat]

Gah. Again, I'm too short for this poem.... flying way over my head, I'm afraid.
Yep... five or six reads, and I still don't know what to make of it!! Sorry!! It's me... it's not you! ; )

[Laughing Lunatic]

This is fabulous!!! I have never seen a piece like this, it opens up your mind with its great imagery.
Well Done!!!! =)

[Rachel Hays]

This is great! The first reading through, it made my head reel. The second and third time the wording, purely penetrating, settled down and soaked in. Fantastic as always. It's always nice to read from the two of you.

[Nicholas Hallows]

Good imagery is always what appeals to me the most in a poem. And this has tons of it.
Interesting piece.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

damn this is fabulous and creepy... you two together are really amazing.

[The Tao of Bri]

Haunting piece of sorrow when love has gone bad...seeems a lot of mistrust in the piece, that does it every time! Greatwork guys~

[R J Askew]

I really, really like the mercury tear...and the castor sugar at the end was very arch! It's good stuff, tightly written and the words are a potent mix. It's mature writing and it sort of performs well on the mind. I also think it might read well.

I would read more like this. I like it.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Pretty words are like pretty soldiers. I'm more interested in can they fight. Still, its nice to look at and hear the way the sounds go together.

[Ralphy]

That very good, I like that alot. Your phrase, "hallowed seconds of torture" is quite unique. You guys did a great job putting this together...

[Nick Erickson]

I've never written a piece using word association, but this piece very unique.
There is a dark feeling to this, set apart by the last two line,

valleys of winter covered
in caster sugar white

I like the contrast at the end, setting it off from the darkness throughout.

Well done!!