Nightmare

The book opens with Trede experiencing a terrible nightmare.

 

I see lights.  Thousands of shining white lights in the distance.  They pulsate brighter and softer as a wave passes over them, coming in from nowhere and continuing on forever into the distance.  One light is growing brighter and begins moving.  It’s getting closer.  The waves continue to come slowly and heavily.  I see a pair of hands.  They rise up in front of me as if they were my own but… they are covered in blood.  I feel an intense pain and clutch my side.  I think I’ve been hurt… by someone.  The waves come faster now. 

There are flashes of a place I don’t know.  It’s nighttime.  Only a faint moonlight shines in the black sky.  I’m running down a road, there are buildings passing on either side.  I raise my hand desperately reaching for something, I need help but I cannot find it. It’s difficult to keep going, but I must...  The waves come faster again. 

I see a silhouette.  I’m lying on the ground, I can see across the road a man in the shadows. What does he want?  He…  He’s after me.  He wants something.  I have to get away.  The waves are coming now so quickly.  I can’t hear anything but the loud pounding of waves.  I’m afraid.  He wants to kill me!  I can’t get up to run, the pain is too great.  He’s getting closer!  I can almost see his face…  I…  a thunderous wave crashes, I cover my head as the sound and light become too much to bear…  The lights disappear.  I wake up. 

 

Author's Note

Throughout the book, there will be the occasional nightmare written from Trede's perspective in first person present. The rest of the book will be in a more traditional third person past tense. I'm hoping this provides an interesting hook into the story, but you can be the judge of that!

Reviews

[Rune---a Novel]

This was indeed a great hook, I like how you wrote it in the characters own voice too, even taking note of stuttering. Towards the end made me really feel the characters terror and I could almost hear the waves crashing. This was very descriptive and if the rest of your story is like this then it will be a good story indeed.

[Tomislav Petricevic]

This is a good opening for the story. It draws the reader into it, leaving him with the desire to read more!

[Sunflower 20]

woah! that was intense. great hook to start your story. well done! :)

[Jenn Gold]

Well, that was a great hook to the beginning of a story. I am now totally interested in seeing what happens. I had no idea it was a nightmare until the "I wake up." line. I was already on the edge of my seat. Great writing. I have to read the next chapter!