Oudrine: Journal Entry 5

Oudrine's first day at the Haven is about to make her face her darkest fear.

The haven, in a word is….unexpected.  Celeste came to greet me this morning, and took me to the kitchen to get some breakfast.  There were so many people I was introduced to it's hard to remember everyone’s name.  The cooks name was Dooley, he’s middle aged, heavy set, and always has a big smile on his face.  He said he's known Celeste for years, and that's why he gets to "keep acquaintances with such fine youths." Celeste then led me to a table with 3 "young students" she called them.  Tyo, Canas and Zsuta were very polite when introduced and I sat down with them during breakfast.  Breakfast held its own surprises, my meal was simple and elegant but not something that I’m used to eating, it’s a far cry from the fish and barley that Mother serves.  There were simple bright flavors and fruit, obviously healthy and probably designed to stimulate my senses.  I could tell my fellow table mates were much more accustomed then I.  Tyo and Canas are twin brothers, they’ve been here a little over a year and are completely identical twins.  I’m sure there are times when they take advantage of their remarkably similar appearance in the way of pranks judging by their shared looks after Celeste stepped away.  Zsuta is a girl about my age, she's very soft spoken and polite, she seems like someone I could be comfortable around.   Surprisingly they are all from northern villages.  Tyo and Canas are from a fish trading village in the North West, Southern Fwee I think it was called.  And Zsuta is from a forest colony in the greater northern forest. I would be interested to hear how she came to Sedenza, I've never heard of any regular trading in that area, I don't think there are even normal Air Whale routes that travel there.  I told them about where I came from on the Briar ­River and my small adventure last night.

Everyone here seems to run by some sort of schedule because at the end of breakfast the students all started leaving and Celeste came back to get me and she showed me around the grounds.  There's a lovely Arboretum in the center area surrounded on all 4 sides by the haven. The garden is lush and green and filled with so many plants and flowers that I am a bit overwhelmed by its beauty.  It’s almost a haven within the haven; it smells so fresh and alive.  Jonas was out in the arboretum with several people around him, including Zsuta, and the young mousy boy from last night.   It was strange, I saw Jonas cup his hands together and when he opened them there was a small glowing ball of light.  What was even more strange was that all the people around did the same thing.  Several glowing orbs, some of different shades of white, blue and yellow, some how they were creating these lights with there hands.  I'm beginning to realize what is really going on here.  When Jonas said this place was for people like me, he meant more than it was just a place to be safe but... a place to learn and control this energy inside of us.  I've only used it a few times, and not even on purpose but it was enough to cause interest for Jonas to come find me way out in Briar.  And when Celeste was saying students, she really meant it.  The people here, many of them younger than I, really are here to learn, not just to be safe among those that are like themselves.  This is a lot to digest...  I'm still having trouble knowing I'm going to have to face the part of myself I've feared for so long. Celeste had brought me to this corner of the garden that I am now and we sat on two opposing stone benches here.  There is a beautiful willow tree in full bloom behind the bench that I’m sitting. She asked me what I thought of the haven so far.  I wasn't really sure what to say so I told her my fear of the energy burning inside me.  Ever since the first time I channeled this energy, I've been worried about losing control of it... and hurting someone.  She told me that those teaching here at the haven desired to help me learn and develop control so that I can help others.  And that the whole purpose of the haven is to train people not only in controlling the energy, but to teach people the virtues of being blessed with this ability.   Even as we talked I knew I could trust her but I still have my doubts and fears.  It’s so much to take in and there’s so little I still understand.  When she left she told me she would give me time to think about all of this.  I'm still here in the garden, it's been over an hour, I just needed to write down my thoughts and try to keep everything straight, I'm glad I kept journal with me today.  I'm supposed to have my first lesson soon, I'm so nervous my hands are shaking as I write this.  I know Celeste says this energy inside me is a blessing, that can be used to help others, but I'm still so afraid of it.  I can see Celeste just stepped back into the garden, she's coming back to find me.  I'll write again tonight...