Bar 2510 Poem 315

Halogen lights beat an unwanted
Night into a somber submission
As I stare a strange servant
In the eyes-

He studies my mood by the tip-
Tapping of my fingers and the
Commotion of my glass as it
Searches for a woman- spinning

And humming as I slam it down.
Its language makes me think
Of you. To him I'm just another
Finger raised in the air without

The exclusivity of a clannish tip.
Though his smile and tentative
Stare along with his peddling
Of analgestic wares leave me wondering

His name. There are times divided
Between coins, bills, drinks and
Nods where I forget which direction
I came in- and which direction to leave.

When the clock straightens up from
Its laborous shift it never forgets
To tap him on the shoulder- it has
No reason to tap me.

With one final swig of my glass
And a push of my cigarette I casually
And indiscernibly make my way for the
Door... knowing quite well what's not
Behind my own.

Reviews

[SN]

This is so beautiful. I find it to be extremely well-written. Every stanza is full of imagery, the description of the moment is smooth yet vivid and enables the reader to relate.
I think the last stanza is extremely powerful, I love the "knowing quite well what's not
Behind my own" which binds it all together.
Thanks for sharing, great job!

[ScaryTrees]

"Halogen lights beat an unwanted
Night into a somber submission
As I stare a strange servant
In the eyes- "

Strong opening
really sucked me in

Rhythm and flow are good, but I sorta got hitched up in the fourth and fifth stanzas
Also I think it's "Analgesics"

I enjoyed it
Nice write