Anxiety chronicles #2

Las Vegas worst trip ever

As I sit here sitting waiting for something anything to happen I quickly reminisce of a better day at home or maybe a better vacation as the supposed one I love shows no interest in anything I feel or care of. I find myself continually trying to make her happy as I feel alone inside of own body bothered in my.own head. Uncomfortable of my own standings. Feeling unwanted in my own relationship I contemplate a life with out... A life without fear and worry.. A future without this lonely feeling... A world without anxiety. As I think back in all the times I felt loved a time where I felt someone cared. As I reflect on everything I could have done better to make one smile or laugh... I don't have many times where I can say I could have tried better...but still I feel like i caused this distance this unloved figment of reality. As I write this completely Whole heartedly I feel confused I feel the distance growing i find myself wanting to end this "relationship" to just walk away. As deep dark thoughts cross my mind I just sit here feeling like I'm slowly bleeding out innerly. As I sit on this chair my life slowly raveling in my head maybe I expect to much or maybe she's just not enough. Maybe km not enough for her or maybe I'm to much.. I convince her I care about her happiness but who's worried about mine... I feel the toxic substance eating away at everything I tty to hold close. Feeling pushed away and abandoned by someone who claims they love me... Just wondering if I have the strength to just leave.. Traveled half way around America for a trip I can't enjoy as the days go by I realize I love "differently" I care differently I am different..... As my temper rises I find myself thinking things I shouldn't of someone I once held so dearly.. As the hours roll on I contemplate how my life would be of someone who can't or won't love me as I love them and its heartbreaking.... I feel ashamed I let IT go this far that I got this sucked in by a lie a hoax a game even. I know what loves feels like or at least what it feels like with me and feeling alone and a burden doesnt belong in this situation.

Author's Note

Inner thoughts,
Please review

Reviews

[CAPOLAVORO]

I read some poems and stories about anxiety. You could make this more realistic than it is by incorporating a lot of adjectives. You could also focus more on the inner thoughts.

This is is good though.

[Battling my inner thoughts]

Thank you anxiety chronicles #3 I'll make sure I incorporate more adjectives

[CAPOLAVORO]

Waiting for it.

[Battling my inner thoughts]

:) thanks for the review