Anxiety chronicles #1

As my anxiety beats me down I will write "chronicles" of my feelings

Most days I just don’t feel it like really genuinely feel like anything good will happen… I feel like I’m slowing the person I love back and she makes sure I know. I try to be the best person I can be but hell that doesn’t work for anything… I try to be positive but the one I love feels like I’m holding her back and I hate feeling like that but I feel its time to just let go and and go about my day…. Dealing with that is a worsted feeling than having your heart broken everyday I would say its life but its not its simply just my life….. I just wanna go hide in a cave away from the world and away from all this….. Maybe then I can make myself happy and not have to worry about anyone else…….. Maybe then I can stop holding back people and trying to expose them to something they not ready for…. Maybe someone will come along who is as afraid of hurting me as I am of hurting them maybe just maybe with everything happening maybe it would do some good… give my soul a rest. Give my heart a break…. Maybe it will mend the broken pieces of my heart and give my soul a chance to finally cry out…… all I need and want is to be happy to be appreciated, loved, wanted, yearned for, heart felt…….. ONE DAY MY LIFE WILL BE FULFILLED IF EVEN JUST THE REALIZATION THAT IT WILL NOT BE FULFILLED BUT OTHERS BUT BY THE KNR WHO SEEKS TO BE THE SEEKER AND THE SEEKED IS THE GREATEST POWER I COULD BBB POSSESS…..ILL GO TO THE MOON AND BACK FOR MYSELF…… TO THE DARKEST TUNNEL TO THE DEEPEST OCEAN. TO THE FURTHEST POINT. TO THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN. BECAUSE I KNOW IM WORTH IT….. ONE DAY… BUT NOT TODAY OR TOMORROW ONE DAY WILL BE MY DAY