Humanity's Requiem

My first ever poem and in my opinion one of my best it is however very dark

Abandon hope for families betray
life stops while death floods emotions destruct
lightning strikes disease ridden orphans burn
guns blaze destroying lives of countless men
chains bind the soul politics deceive all
the grave call none can ignore fates summons
promises shatter as lightning destroys
the heart toils in unending slavery-
in the end, deception is eternal

Reviews

[Legacy]

John Fakler,

Hello darkness...

Quite honestly, it is not dark as in can not see through, however, it rings so true in today's society that it is quite transparent.

Throughout the poem, you did a great job of omitting some extra conjunctions, you showed comparisions and eliminated giving every detail away.

Thank you for sharing, very much enjoyed,

Legacy

[FallenWingz]

its leaking of darkness, but also very well done...i love the flow and the emotion that comes thru..its like there is some hope shining thru but yet it isnt constant....great poem.

[Beth Winter]

Oh, this barks with dark thoughts. Let's hope humanity isn't quite this dark. Wonderful writing. I see why you like it best.

Beth

[Daytonight]

Very thought provoking. Well written. Certainly makes us consider the plight of humanity. Keep on penning.

[deedeekm]

whew. a very sad commentary on humanity - sadder for the truths that are contained. I would hope that there are some good things that are eternal as well..