"The Secret Doorway"

Faye finds a mysterious doorway in the back of her hall closet.

“The Secret Doorway”

By John Smith

 

1.

Faye May looked with an annoyed expression at her husband, Mike, as he sat in his office clattering away at the keys of his laptop. She rolled her eyes at him and walked out of his into the hallway. She turned and opened the door of the closet in the hallway and stepped inside of it. She reached up pulling down on a long silver chain that turned on the light above her. She put her hands on her hips and looked around at the mess surrounding her.

            Cardboard boxes that covered the floor were spread everywhere and were to some extent overflowing with junk. She knelt down and began to move the boxes around when she noticed something strange. She stood up imminently and split where the clothes were hanging revealing what looked like a small doorway. She placed her hand on her chin and thought for a moment. She peaked her head out of the closet looking towards Mike’s office.

            “Mike? Honey? Did you know that there was a small door in the back of the closet?” She asked him. He paid her no attention and continued to work on his latest tale. She rolled her eyes at him and walked back into the closet. She knelt down and placed her right hand on the small decorative black doorknob. She turned it to the left and the small door swing open. She didn’t quite understand at first. What was inside the door looked very empty? It looked like just a black room. She got down on her knees and crawled her way through the doorway. She fell to the ground knocking her head on what could only be a black concrete floor and drifted into an uncurious state.

 

2.

            Faye’s eyes began to open as she came to. She rubbed her head that had been bumped on the black floor. She sat up and began to look around when she noticed that something was different. Something was off. She was now sitting in a phone booth in the corner of what seemed like a bar. She stood up and opened the door of the phone booth and stepped out side.

            “Hello doll!” One gentleman said while tipping his hat to her while two women hung around his arms. She continued to look around still not knowing fully where she was. She found her way over to the bar where a man wearing a white dress shirt and a black silk vest with a bow tie was serving drinks.

            “Can I help you beautiful?” He asked her. She jumped startled at first. She sat down on a stool and looked at him.

            “Can you tell me where I am?” She asked him. He smiled at her and reached back and grabbed a glass off of the shelf and setting it down on the bar. He reached back grabbing a bottle of wine and popped the cork pouring the wine into the glass.

            “On the house doll face!” He said with sleazy grin. She picked up the glass and took a sip of the wine before placing it back on the bar.

            “Thanks. Now, can you please tell me where it is that I am?” She asked again now with a note of frustration in her voice. He chuckled and looked her in the eye.

            “Why, this is Berry’s! The happiest bar in the land!” He said smiling. “Look around you, this is where people go to forget about their problems. This is where people go to relax.” He continued. “You see the guy playing the piano?” He said pointed to the man wearing a white suite playing “Maple Leaf Rag” on the white piano on the stage ion the center of the room. She looked, nodded, and then turned her attention back to the man. “He used to be a concert pianist in the seventies. He found a doorway that led to this bar and has been here ever since!” He said. She stood up from the stool and began to look around.

            “How do I get out of here? How do I get back home?” She said with a panicked voice. Berry walked out from behind the bar and began to massage her shoulders.

            “Baby hush! Just relax and stay a while! I guarantee that it’ll be worth your while!” He said. The look on her face changed dramatically. It went from a look of stress and worry to a look of relaxation and peace. She was now happy.

 

3.

            It was paradise. That’s the truth. That’s what she admitted to as she accepted it and left her old life behind. But things began to change rather rapidly. The fun place had always been there just wasn’t any fun anymore to the regular customers. After being at Berry’s Bar for just under a month, the place began to change. Plants were now planted across the entire bar and business had begun to lag.

            “Something has to be done!” One of Berry’s friends said stepping into his office. Berry light up a cigarette and exhaled the smoke.

            “What do you mean Sanders? What needs to be done?” Berry asked his friend.

            “This little harlot you call a girlfriend of yours! She is parading around and really ruining the business! She depresses man! She hasn’t forgotten her problems like the rest of us! Something needs to be done!” He said. Berry thought in silence for a moment and continued to smoke his cigarette.

            “I suppose you’re right!” He said to Sanders. “What do you think we ought to do?” He asked him.

            “We need to get rid of her! Fast! She needs to pull a Houdini” He said. The two men sat in silence for a moment before smiling and nodding in agreement.

 

4.

            “Baby doll, I’m back!” Faye said as she walked into the bar. Something was strange. It was enough to make her skin crawl. The lights were now turned off which never happened before. She knew something was wrong. “Honey?” She asked calling out into the darkness. She heard the front door close and lock behind her. The light turned on revealing the entire crowd that was there the first day she arrived. They no longer looked happy. They were no longer in paradise. They all frowned and looked at her with wicked glares.

            “What’s going on?” She asked. The circle of people began to move in closer and closer.

            “I’ll tell you what’s going on baby. It’s time for you to go!” Berry said stepping out of the shadows. She looked at him confused for a moment.

            “What do you mean?” She asked him. The people continued to move in as they each pulled out a weapon of choice. Knives, baseball bats, and led pipes.

            “Sorry baby, your time here is up!” He told her as she began to cry out blood boiling cries of terror.

Copyright 2014 by John Smith

Courtesy of TRUE TERROR PUBLICATIONS

A division of TTP Entertainment

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Author's Note

Thanks for reading guys! Comments and reviews are welcome as always!

Reviews

[The Earl of Lemongrab]

It feels like there is a bit of a jump between the part where Faye goes through the secret door and emerges in the bar. I would have expected the bit between the two parts to be filled with a lot of descriptions giving the reader the feel of the bar and a good understanding of the emotions that Faye was feeling. There also seems to be a bit of a jump in the body of the story between the part where Faye has her first drink and then becomes a regular. You could fill this bit with a recounting of Faye's exploration of the bar and how she interacts with the other patrons, filling them with gloom in the process. Apart from the two jumps, I did like the story. It captured me during its short duration.

[Jack Buckner]

Many thanks for reading Earl. I'll take another look at it.

[Hawkmoth]

The concept of a bar where customers find everlasting happiness is very interesting! Also the idea that it can easily be altered because of the mental disposition of just one person. The story needs a bit of proofreading, but that's all! What I don't understand is whether she continued living with her husband and made furtive visits to the bar or decided to stay (since chapter four starts with her stepping into the bar from somewhere else).

[Pure Innocence]

A very interesting tale. My only suggestion would be, try not to start your sentences off with the same word. In your first couple of paragraphs you start a lot of your sentences with "She" Instead of referring to the person all the time, refer to them once and then finish the description. Other than that well done.

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you for the review!

-CW

[Pure Innocence]

You are very welcome, I hope it was helpful :)

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

Like other reviews I noticed some typo's and spelling errors but over all not bad.
I thought in a few places you need not have used repetitive descriptions of same object, E.g." Black floor"
I think it is well written but I know this scenario from a childs' T.V. program from my childhood called " Mr. Ben"
He enters a small changing room and emerges elsewhere to have adventures.
Horror is not a genre I follow so I'll reserve commenting further as I'm not qualified.
Best regards. Clive.

[Stephanie M]

Wow, I was intrigued from the very first paragraph! However, I was curious about the secret doorway.
Was the doorway into a parallel universe? Was it supposed to lead into a different period of time? I think
this is a great story, I just think you should expand on some things.

[Jack Buckner]

Thanks for the review!

[NoelHC]

An interesting tale, it reminds of some of the pulp I used to read many years ago as a kid.
I noticed a few corrections and edits that proof reading will clean up quickly.
I give these in a spirit of wanting to help, not criticize, please accept them in the spirit intended.

walked out of his ??? into the hallway.
She peaked her head out should be peeked
uncurious Not sure what you mean here
and led pipes. should be lead
blood boiling cries chilling may be more appropriate, usually blood boils with anger, and chills with terror.

[Jack Buckner]

Thanks for the review!

[Sami Khalil]

Another wonderful and exciting story from your talented pen, sir. You found the secret doorway to story-telling...Bravo......................

[Jack Buckner]

Thank you Sami!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).........................